Friend Zone

What should you do, knowing full well that you are just a friend to him? How does it feel waking up every morning, travelling for 30 minutes to get to school, so you can finally have a glimpse of him? And...is it worth it? Is it worth pursuing your feelings when you know more than anyone that HE WILL NEVER RECIPROCATE THEM?
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Jasmine Antoinette Wright and Nathaniel Anderson are best friends, and are also secretly in love with each other. Will they be able to cross the line of being friends, or will they just let their chances of confessing slip away from their grasps? The deprivations of being a Friend Zonee and a Friend Zoner.


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2. Nathaniel's Perspective

Note: Just to clarify things, this story is set a year and a half after the first chapter. 

 

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Three words, eight letters. Say it, and you're doomed for life. Well, are you really? Why don't you take the risk? Are you more worried about the inevitable pain you'll feel if ever she rejects you, or the fact that everything between you two might change? Will you really regret saying those three...complex but magical words to that special girl you fancy? What if she feels the same and she just can't tell you how she feels because she's scared as hell just like you? You wouldn't know if you wouldn't try, right? So, what's holding you back? Ah...yes. She's your best friend, and confessing to her will just complicate things.

 

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"What am I supposed to listen to again?" you asked her as you opened your Mac. You have been talking to her for about an hour, or two, or maybe even three, over the phone but you feel like those hours aren't enough. And that made you miss her even more. Even if it was only yesterday when you last saw her, you still want to see her personally. When did you realize that you've fallen for her? You shook your head when you didn't find an answer to your own question. 

 

"So you weren't listening to me at all, were you?" she accused and you instantly imagined her pouting childishly afterwards. Just the thought of her doing that made you smile. 

 

"Hey, I was, alright? I just opened my Mac and am browsing through Google. The things I do for you, really. And how can I resist not listening to you?" you noticed how she fell silent for a few seconds after hearing what you said, hoping that somehow, she got the hint of what you wanted her to know. You were showing her signs subtly that you like her and want her to be more than just a friend ever since only-you-and-God-knows-when but all your attempts were useless. And to cover all those up without being obvious, you'd hit on every girl who's close to her, which you know isn't really a wise thing to do.

 

"Very funny Nathaniel. You hardly ever pay attention to me. And you can't use your charms on me. It won't work." she said proudly. You were, somewhat, disappointed. Not with her, but with yourself because you can't find the courage and man up to tell her those three words you've been dying to tell her. 

 

"Yeah, and I can instantly imagine your cheeks heating up right now. You know you're not a very good liar, Jasmine Antoinette." Why did her name fit her perfectly well and why did she have to be so beautiful? Then again, you found no answer to your own question.

 

"Seriously, do you really have to address me like that?" she questioned. You know how awkward she feels whenever you'd call her by her first names when you call just simply address her by "Jas". 

 

"Well, what's wrong with it? You've got to appreciate how beautiful your name is." you told her honestly.

 

"Oh please. Give me a break, Nate. And who says I was lying? Just so you know, I've got an invisible protective charm against you. Hah! Beat that!" she sounded smug, and you chuckled at what she just said. 

 

"Alright, fine. You win this time." admitting defeat really wasn't included in your "area of expertise" as you'd call it, but you're always ready and willing to lose an argument as long as your opponent was your best friend.

 

"You really can't win against me, huh?" she said smugly and you know that she had that evil smirk on her lips.

 

"Honestly, I don't fight girls. And you just got lucky." you reasoned out. Of course, even if you purposely let her win, you won't admit that to her, so you can "save your ego" as what she would always say.

 

"Right. Saving your deflated ego as usual. You just can't accept the fact that the odds are always in my favor."

 

"Is that your way of saying that the odds are always against me then?" you questioned her and you heard her giggling. Boy, but it sounded beautiful in your ears. You totally got it bad.

 

"You can say that again. Anyway, as I was saying earlier, I told you to listen to---" she trailed off. No matter how much you love listening to her stories, rants, and whatnots, you weren't able to catch up with her because of what you saw on her Facebook profile.

 

Jasmine Antoinette Wright is in a relationship with Evan Joshua Carter  .  30 minutes ago

is in a relationship with Evan Joshua Carter

with EVAN JOSHUA CARTER 

 

You blinked once, twice, thrice even, to make sure that you weren't just hallucinating and seeing things. But what you saw was legit and even if you didn't want to believe it, it was fucking real! And you felt that pang of pain stirred over your chest. Of all the people she had to hook up with, why did it have to be Evan, the player slash virgin killer? You glared at your laptop, imagined that was Evan's face, and you wanted to punch it so hard.

 

"Nate? Hey, still there?" her voice brought you back to reality.

 

"When..." you wanted to ask her how she hooked up with Evan, but you yourself aren't coherent. You didn't know what to say properly so as not to offend her.

 

"When what?" she asked, bewildered.

 

"Evan." you said, almost in a whisper. 

 

"O-Oh...U-Um, it was...I assume you already saw through the feeds, huh? He-he. Uh...H-How should I say this? Uh..." she babbled and you can feel her excitement from the way she talked. Your hands turned to fists and you felt your eyes tearing up, but you held it in.

 

"I'm sorry Nate, for not telling you A-S-A-P. It happened last 2 weeks actually. And yeah, I decided to give him a chance. I mean, why not right? You see--" before she even had the chance to tell you the whole story, you cut her off.

 

"Look, you don't have to explain everything." was what you said because you didn't want to hear anything about her being in a relationship at all.

 

"But...you're my best friend, my partner in crime, my other half. I'm sorry if I didn't tell you earlier. And I think it's only right to tell you half of my life since we've known each other for years. I mean, what are best friends for?" BestFriend. Those two bloody hurtful words. Sometimes, being a best friend can mean so much to someone, but in your case, it was an insult. You didn't want to be just a best friend, you wanted her to be your girl officially because you are irrevocably and unconditionally in love with her. But you weren't able to do something about that. 

 

"You don't have to apologize. And...c-congratulations." you told her hesitantly.

 

"Thanks, Nate." she beamed.

 

"I...just hope he won't hurt you. He's your first boyfriend after all." 

 

"Oh. He won't. I'm sure of that. He's a changed person, Nate. I know how you dislike him and all, but I assure you, he won't be an ass anymore. And I'm really glad I met him. If he hurt me, I'll give you the permission to kick his face and balls if you like." she joked and laughed next. But you can't laugh with her.

 

"He better make sure not to, 'cause he'll really regret it if he messed up with my best friend." you told her sincerely, even if it hurt you so much.

 

"Aww. I can't believe the day has finally arrived when my best friend's being so soft on me." she teased.

 

"I'm not soft."

 

"Oh yes, you are, tough guy. Anyway, I've got to hang up now. You better check the song I recommended. Wait, did I even tell you what the title was?"

 

"Yeah, it's...Thank You...for the Broken Heart." you answered her and you actually meant to say that to her, but being naive as she always was, she didn't understand what you mean.

 

"Oh, so I did. Haha. It's by J. Rice, by the way. Nighty night Nate. I love you." she hang up. You felt like your hopes had ended, like you can never tell her how you feel about her anymore, the moment she ended the call. It served as your wake up call for being so coward to face your true feelings. 

 

"I...love you too, Jas. More than you'll ever know." you told no one in particular. If only you can tell that to her sooner, if only you can show her much she means to you, and if only you weren't such a scaredy cat and grabbed the opportunity of confessing when you already had it, then you would have made a difference. But no, you chose to let it slip away from your grasp. You chose to show her subtle hints when you know how naive she was. And because of that, you ran out of time and you're too late now. She's already happy and in love with someone else. And you've got no one to blame but yourself for losing her forever.

 

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the end
14-02-2013

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