Dear Zayn

1,10, 25, 40, 67, 75, 77... so many days you've been gone Zayn, what am I to say? Im lost with out you. Its been 77 days .. and I just can't do it... Im joining you.
Love Perrie

(Yes! I know it sounds like 99 days with out you. but its not, Its my story About zayn and perrie that book gave me the idea though, it will be letters but nothing will be copied off her book!! So Please dont comment saying this is stolen because its not)


4. 4


Dear Zayn,

Today, I had a panic attack Im okay now but I wanted to go up with you. Im in the hospital now hooked up to a bunch of crazy strings and shit that I don't care about. I imagine you holding my hand in the chair by my bed telling my its okay, when really its not. Your not here to do that though. I can't help but feel selfish, all I do is grieve about how your not here with me, but what about the boys? what am I thinking? My life is just so confusing, Nothing was figured out today its more of a relaxing day to get my mind off your death but how could I forget, it was the worst thing that could ever happen to me other than loose my family. Oh Yea! They are sending my home to see my family anyways. I didn't want to go, I was afraid of being reminded. After a week with my family then I would move to visit  your family for 2 days. I couldn't stay longer then that. I hope it isn't an affence that im not looking forward to seeing you family.. It's just I don't think Im ready to see your depressed mother and crying little sisters, and seeing your cousin looking just llike you, I can't take that kind of pressure Zayn. Please be with me? I don't have to worry about that for another week and in case your wondering, after those 2 days with your family Im taking a rest from people. But, the girls really think me getting more active will help my mood lighten, but they don't realize im just getting worse everyday nothing will change. Unless I can see you again.

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