Forever Young

"It was the first kiss and the first time I felt connected to anything."

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26. Chapter 26

Eve's POV:

Ashton and I tumble into his apartment, never breaking the kiss as we sloppily walk towards the bedroom. Ashton kicks the front door shut and grabs the outside of my thighs and I jump onto his waist.

He carries me to the bedroom.

Once we get to his room he lets me down and shuts the door, he looks deep into my eyes as we both catch our breath.

His are so bright, even though the light is dim.

It reminds me when he first came into my life.

His eyes shined under that dimly lit bar lamp.

Ashton walks up to me slowly and kisses me, and again, and again. He wraps his arms around me and zips down my dress. He slides it off my shoulders and it falls to the ground.

"You're so beautiful." He says against my lips, I kiss him again and again.

I've never wanted somebody so much.

He needs this,

This reassurance.

I need this.

I need this to show him.

He rips off his shirt and we both walk to the bed.

Never breaking that kiss.

He lays me back and kisses my stomach and chest.

He's so gentle.

Ash brings his lips back to mine and our tongues dance with one another. The paste gets a little bit faster as Ashton kisses my neck, I play with the buttons on his jeans and start undoing his pants. He slides his jeans off and lets them fall to the side.

Then, in one quick motion, he grabs my waist and flips me over on top of him, I look down at him. He leans up and cups my face with his hands, kissing me and leading me to lay back down on him. I continue to kiss him and his hands move to my hips, pressing them onto him, back and forth, back and forth. He continues to do this until I get it myself, we're both still in our underwear, but I keep tugging at his boxer.

For god's sake take them off.

My inner goddess pleads, I feel him smile against my lips because he thinks it's cute when I'm inpatient.

*Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.*

My phone rings on the bedside table.

Fuck.

*Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.*

"Let it go to voicemail." Ashton whispers against my lips. I do.

 

*Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.*

The phone rings again, Ashton flips over so he's now on top of me and takes the phone, he hands it to me. I'm still panting so I wait a moment to catch my breath.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Eve? Hey it's me!" Grace.

"Hey, look I'm sorry I'm kind of busy I-"

"It'll just take a minute, okay so me and Luke are so perfect together we-"

Ashton snatches the phone from me.

"She's busy." He snaps and hangs up the phone, throwing it over his shoulder and grabbing me and kissing me again. I laugh against his lips.

"You're so bad." I whisper.

 

"Oh, you have no idea."

 

Minutes later Ashton tugs at my underwear with his teeth, he slides them down and they fall to the floor. Ashton rips off his boxers and kisses my lips once more.

Ashton slides himself into me, slowly, carefully. I cringe.

"Sorry love," He pants.

He starts to move his hips and I moan out, this time knowing no ones here and not caring if I'm loud. He continues this action and then he moans too.

***

We both struggle to catch our breath as we lye naked in each others arms. My arm thrown over his chest and his wrapped around my shoulder.

"Jesus." I pant, Ashton laughs and looks at me. He moves a lock of hair from my face and tucks it behind my ear.

"Good?" He asks.

"Great." I say, I take his hand in mine and kiss it.

"Ashton?"

"Yes sweetheart?"

The way the words spill from his lips, so perfectly, so magically. My heart melts.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

I take both of my hands and hold his hand, I slowly unlatch one bracelet, I slide off another.

"What're you doing?" He asks shakily, I kiss the back of his hand to calm him again. I take the last two off.

Scars.

Scars running up and down his wrist, I don't know how such an amazing guy could think so little of himself. He's so light, so loving, so perfect. I could only dream to be as perfect as this boy right here. He's my world and he doesn't even know it.

Hopefully I showed him tonight.

Ashton eyes me carefully as I run my fingertips over his cuts, I shift sideways and lay on his chest, my hand still holding his as I kiss his palm.

I kiss one scar,

and then another.

I lean up to Ashton and kiss his lips, he gives me a soft, desperate, hopeless kiss.

"Why wouldn't you tell me?" I ask, keeping my voice quiet and light.

"I don't know." He says. He's so insecure right now, even when he's just talking he's usually so confident in what he's saying.

But now,

he's so vulnerable.

It's like I've broken a wall.

A poorly built wall.

"Cal said you stopped four months ago." I say, Ashton brings his hand up to my cheek.

"Yes." He says.

"D-Did you stop… F-For me?" I ask. He looks into my eyes and tilts his head.

"Yes." He admits, my lips part and I breathe.

"Why?" I ask.

"Why?" He repeats in disbelief. "Evelyn, you're beautiful, perfect, amazing, loving, caring, funny… The list goes on and on."

"But-"

"No. No but's… Eve, you are my everything, and you love me. And I never thought that something as amazing as you could happen to me. Ever."

"Why wouldn't you just tell me? I could've helped."

"That's what I'm saying, babe. You did help." He picks up his wrist. "These are four months old. Four months, Eve." He says happily.

"I don't think I've ever gone that long without cutting."

My heart clenches.

I feel the tears in the back of my eyes but I push them back, I burry my head in Ashton's chest just in case I start to cry.

Him hurting himself.

Self-harm.

It's unbearable.

I feel the tears on my cheeks and Ash hears me sniffle.

"Baby girl," He whispers. "Don't cry." He wraps his arm around me.

"But I just…" I lose my words. "I don't wanna think about you hurting yourself." I squeeze his torso.

"Then don't," He kisses my hair. "Think about you saving me."

I close my eyes.

No more scars.

No more cuts.

No more little brown eye'd drummer boys pulling out a blade and slicing himself seven ways to sunday.

 

I breathe.

 

"I love you." I whisper.

"Don't leave me." He says.

I yawn and hug him.

 

"Never."

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