Midnight Memories

I dont just want to know you. "He said,his lips pressed against my ear, sending ripples of pleasure down to my fingertips. "I want to know about you." I trembled under his touch, his soft yet big and rough hands so gentle against my bare shoulder.

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6. Chapter six Part One

"Come on sweetheart, let's go shopping." Perry says tugging on my hand, trying to pry me from the couch. I kept hold of my position and pull my arm back down to my side.

 

"Perry, I'm fine. I need to do some cleaning today. Come back and show me what you got. Okay?" Eleanor puts her hands on her waist and looks at me like she about to spontaneously burst into tears.

 

"Please be happy again. You're my best friends and this is heart breaking." I stand, dusting the T.V remote from my lap only to watch it crash to the floor.

 

"I'm happy, El. Honest. When you're through with your shopping stop by again. I’ll be here." She bites her lip and pulls me in for a hug. "I love you guys." We separated and they took one last long agonizing look at me before going to the door.

 

"We'll be back." Perry says, waving me off and giving me a deep stare ensuring her promise. "I swear, even if you're sleeping."

 

"We will break in, Quiin. Not joke." I laughed and lead them out to the porch.

 

"Don't need to go that far, El."

 

"See you later." They yell all the way to El's white Toyota. I threw myself back onto my beige plaid couch as soon as their tires touch down on the next block. I didn't mean to be that annoying girl who mopes around and makes everything revolve around the center of her break-up-but i couldn't help it-I was depressed.

 

The first day of our break up Louis and Liam came over to pick up my spirits but only making me more soul-ly detached than I currently was. Louis sat by me and grabbed my hands smacking them together in the rhythm of "Patty Cake" and then singing along to a different tune.

 

"Quiin is kind of lazy and sad sitting around all day might get her fat but it won't give her one thing and that's Harr-" he stopped mid-sentence watching my head fall down into my lap. Liam looked down, pinching the shaft of his nose and sighing.

 

"Louis you were never going anywhere with that." Louis sat up apologizing and I sat there crying while Liam cooed me back to sanity and shaking his head at Louis.

 

"Just go, I'll be out shortly." He apologized once more and let. Liam kissed my forehead and gave me a bear hug leaving. Next was Zayn who came with Lux and Lou, then Niall who came alone and sat awkwardly for hours, Dani, and then El and Perry today.

 

Five days was a lifetime. I know i was fine without him, I was perfectly capable of doing what i wanted but being with someone for 3 years and having that part, the happiest part of your life gone was mentally exhausting. I did finally get up to get some cleaning done. Throwing away some take-out tins and taking a shower and finally going to lay in my own bed which smelled too much like Harry, so I threw them in the wash. Finding a bunch on band-T's from Harry's trail of outfits left in my room from many nights of him crashing here way before we were together, I dig up a recyclable bag and shove them inside throwing that bag into the closet.

 

I leave my work and rush downstairs to the door, hearing someone knock. I throw the door open, my hand timid on the brass handle.

 

"Mom?" She stands in front of me, her hair in a tangled mess and her cheeks puffy and mascara smeared. “I don't want to talk to you."

 

"Quiiny, please wait." I smash me hand onto the oak framework and swiftly push it close but she knocks her leg into the side. “Please."

 

"You need to go home."

 

"I left your father." My head perks up and i stare wildly at her.

 

"What? Why?" She gestures towards my couch.

 

"Can I come inside, please?" I look back observing the empty thing, standing alone in the center of the room. I step back letting her inside. "It’s very nice, honey." she says turning her gaze to paintings hung on the walls and vases placed here and there.

 

"Let’s sit." I say showing her to the sofa. She gives me a faint smile and tears spring into her eyes, her hand going to her vibrant scarlet face. She knocks herself back onto the couch and sobs helplessly into her hands.

 

"Oh, Quiin. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for going through with your fathers plan. You know i would never hurt you, right?" I felt sorry for her. My heart aches to comfort her but I can’t. I can’t show her that I’ll just forgive her, no explanation. "Right?"

 

"I don't know." She looks so hurt, like I just stabbed her right in front of her eyes.

 

"How can you not know. I'm your mother I love you more than life itself."

 

"Mom you told me that if I continued seeing Harry you were done with me. You forced me to date a guy who hit me, if that’s love than-"

 

"That was your father."

 

"Stop using him as a scapegoat. You did it just as much as he did."

 

"I would never!" All of my rage boiled over and i couldn't stop what I was saying.

"Harry's gone because of you! You push people and you don't even care!" I was too close to tears to say another word.

 

"Quiin-I-" her lips shook and she placed her hands in her lap trying to stay preserved.

 

"You pushed away the one person in this world that I loved. You brought Connor-and you told- what? What were you planning to accomplish? You lost your daughter you can check that off your list. You broke my heart and now I have no one like him, you can check that off too."

 

"Connor loves you! We didn't mean for him or anyone to get hurt."

 

"Are you serious?" I should stop. I should let her leave. “Love isn't trying to violate someone in a bathroom. I had love but you took that way because you're selfish and you don't want me to be happy because you are stuck in an unhappy marriage built on lies, wealth and nearly getting your daughter raped. You are a bad mother!" The stinging spread across my cheek in tingling ripples, leaving a hot pattern plastered on it.

 

"Don’t you ever talk to me like that again?"

 

"It's the truth!"

 

"It’s biased!"

 

"Leave!" She shrunk in her shell.

 

"Quiin, I am not done here."

 

"I am!" I stood charging to the door and yanking it open. “Go, now!" She took one last look at me and left. The tension settled but I couldn't shake the feeling that I am alone. Not in a technical sense but in an emotional and mental sense, like my heart is no longer in my body. A tear slowly glides down my cheek as I drag myself upstairs to my bed and throw myself on it crying like my world was over. Which it was. My Mom and Dad are out of life, Harry, everyone was slipping away. ! was slipping away.

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