Love Me.

Clearly, Sarika didn't know where she stood in life. One thing kept bringing her back to reality, her true passion. Dancing. When an opportunity she can't refuse comes up, she has to bring her skills to the next level, push herself until the end. Becoming a background dancer for Justin Bieber is a lot of work, right? Maybe even more than she thought...

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6. Six †

Sarika's P.O.V.

Madison Square Garden was a feeling that couldn't be described in words, nothing was as amazing as this. It's crazy how I'm even talking about this right now, sitting in the bus, waiting for us to take off. 

"Hey, Shorty." Scooter stepped in our bus, a letter in his hands. "You got this from the mail, apparently from your cousin, Katherine." 
"Oh." I smiled brightly. "Thanks!" 

I snatched it from his hands, a small chuckle escaping his lips. He soon left afterwards, everyone was asleep, except Justin, who was in the shower. He's always in our bus, like he has one of his own, bro, I'd use it. I think he just starts to feel lonely, and I understand him. It's tough being away from family. 
I slowly opened the letter, excited to read, it was a bit long, but I've got all night. It was a full page of her neat writing, I just felt like bouncing up and down. 

Dear Rika,
It's me, Katy'Poo! We haven't spoke in a couple of weeks now, I know I haven't answered your text messages! I'm so sorry, school has been such a handful lately. And that's what I wanted to talk to you about. You know how I got bullied from time to time? Well, it seems that lately, people wanted much more suffering coming from me. They called me worst than 'dork' or 'nerd'. It escalated quickly to whore, bitch, fat, ugly, a nobody. You know, at first, I blocked all the insults away, telling myself I had Ashley. One day, she started acting all weird, she was changing into somebody else. She started dressing like a slut, she dyed her beautiful jet black hair to... PLATINUM BLONDE! I thought she was going crazy! One day, she revealed all my secrets to the school, including my humongous crush on Jake Hampton! Everybody went harder on the bullying, my own best friend turned her back on me. I feel like the insults finally got to me, I can't believe my low self esteem got even more lower. I think of myself as unnecessary in this world. So, I came to conclusion that I wasn't loved. I came to conclusion that... it wouldn't change for me to leave this disgusting world. I know you care for me, and I love you so much Rika! Don't ever forget that. You're the ONLY one I have left, and it isn't enough to mend my broken feelings, I needed you by my side. Don't blame yourself, I would've lived my dream too. I feel like the worst possible cousin on this earth, and I feel like I'll regret this, but sooner it's done, sooner my dreadful days will come to an end. Sooner, my pain will go away. That's the important thing, right? I'm still a fourteen year old girl, who still doesn't know how to deal with her feelings. The one who won't get to see her children grow, the one who wasn't strong enough to battle through her own fight. The one... who thought dying was better than living. I want you to stay on tour, and live your dream. You only have one life, Rika, I decided to take it away. I won't feel pain, not as much as I used to. I'm leaving for paradise... for the place where I'll be safe. 
With much love,
Katherine -xox-
(PS: Whenever you feel alone, you can talk to me. I'll always be in your heart.)

My heart broke into a million pieces, silent sobs escaping my lips. I quickly pulled out my iPhone, dialling my mother's number. Waiting for her to answer felt like forever, I mean, she didn't die today if I received the letter?

"Hello?" My mother's voice was heard. 
"Where's Katherine?" I whispered. 

A dead silence took over, my mother's shaky breath making my lips tremble even more. She sniffed quietly, exhaling deeply. She struggled with words, trying to find something to say. But her words cut like knives. I was hoping for another answer, but it came out just as cruel. 

"She's gone." She mumbled. "She wanted you stay on tour, Rika. And you will, she's already buried sweetheart." 

Hanging up, I sat on the couch, staring blankly at the wall straight ahead. I didn't know how to react, or how to feel. My emotions were scattered all over the place, and I couldn't help the silent tears stream on my freshly washed face, the bathroom's door opening. Just in time, damn it. My sobs were growing louder. 

"Sarika?" Justin whispered, in sweatpants only. "Are you okay?" 
"No." I cried. "NO I'M NOT!" 

I was shouting, I was so angry. He quickly pulled me in his embrace, stopping me from destroying everything along the way. I surrendered, my head falling in the crook of his neck, wetting his skin. 

I heard footsteps coming from the hallway, feeling multiple pairs of eyes on me. I hid in Justin's side, not wanting to move. I was comfortable, and I didn't want anyone but him right now. I missed my family, and to add misery, one of my loved ones dies? Wow, thank you. 

"Guys, go to sleep." Justin whispered. 

I heard them walk away, a bit hesitantly. Justin held me tighter, whispering soothing words to me, my cousin had just died. It all feels unrealistic. I truly feel like the one to blame, but I can't seem to convince myself fully to conclude. It feels like Katherine is there to tell me I'm wrong, to tell me that she doesn't want to see me cry. 

"I'm right here." Justin muttered in my ear, my hands fisting his shirt tighter. 
"I know." I gulped. 
"You know what?" He mumbled. "Let's make this a mutual agreement. You promised me to always be there for me, well here's my promise. I promise that no matter what, I want you to come to me. I'll always be there, always."

He kissed my temple, shaky breath escaping my lips. My tears were silent as I finally looked up at him, his gaze on me already. I smiled softly, if it's even what it looked like, and laid my head back onto his shoulder. 

He picked me up, bridal style, and walked towards the bunks. He gently placed me on it, climbing up with me. He wrapped me in his arms, my heart warming for once in the past hour, nothing lasts forever. But to me, this is. 

"Good night, Shorty." He smirked. 
"G'night, Jay." I chuckled lightly, his smile instantly growing. 

_____________________________________________________

A bit late about the bullying day, but BETTER LATER THAN NEVER! AND TO ALL THOSE BULLIES OUT THERE, GET A FREAKING LIFE! 

De todos modos... (Anyways in Spanish according to Google Traduction :P)

COMMENT & FAVORITE!

-Audrey :] 

 

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