maybe, maybe not

"That same song repeated on my head like a singing bird and it was beautiful (...)"


1. bitchiness

The alarm clock rang with that same old music I'd always listened to, it made me feel so good I just couldn't help it. I was still sleepy, coulldn't barely open my eyes, all I could see was darkness nothing more, I strecheted every single muscle in my body and finaly opened my eyes.

The minute my covers stoped covering me I felt a chill travelling through my veins, I sat and I could feel the wooden floor that was pretty slippy with all the humidity.

The alarm clock kept ringing, I have had sang and danced to that song for about a million times but somehow I never gost tired of it. I ran to the bathroom, I really needed to, I washed my face with cold water just because I have heard someone saying it was good for your pores and I had a reputationt o mantain.

I quickly got dressed and got downstairs for brakfast, cereal, raspberrys all mixed with coconut milk, my favorite. 8 o'clock, time for school, everyday my dad drived me to school, it was only five minutes but it was totally worth it, everyday I saw the same lovebirds walking to school and the same group of girlfriends screaming and even though it was always the same I really enjoyed watching them.

I have amazing friends, I only know them for a year and I don't think I could love them more, they're always there for me and I just adore them. All my life I've passed through twenty different schools to say the least, do I know how to make friends.

The thing is I'm not even fifteen yet and I feel like I have to manioulate everyone to get what I want, I know it's wrong, but nobody can go against my will or they'll regret, they always do. I'm already labeled as "The Bitch" wich is fine by me I mean if people fear me and know how rhutless I am they'll never win.

Now and then some random guy comes up to me thinking the can make me love, but I've lost that a long time ago if I've had it. I'm not cold I just don't think love exists, it's a waist of time to date, get married all to have kids and break their hearts with a divorce. I'm lucky my parents are really good together but I've seen people fall down do much I feel like I'm living in their pain and numbness even though nobody even tries to understand my point of view.

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