I Can't Live Without You

This is a story about what would happen if my greatest fear came true


7. chapter 5

It's been a whole month since you left. A month full of pain and emptiness. Olli fucking hates me and my parents think I'm an emotional basket case. James passed away two weeks ago. He couldn’t deal with the stress and the pain anymore. He told me he was going to do it though. He said he loved you to much and he doesn’t want to live somewhere where there is no happiness for him. Kat has become distant and if you talk to her she gets really angry. I started talking and eating again so mum has started to lay off, but what she doesn’t know wont hurt her right? I'm coming for you soon. I cant wait to see you. I want to leave but I don’t want to leave at the same time. If I leave I have you but my family will be so upset and I don’t want them to be, but if I don’t leave my family will be happy and I will live with this pain in my heart that your not here. I'm going to do it though. I want to be with you. You and James were the only two people that understood me and now your both gone. But that wont be for long. Soon it will be all three of us together again and no one is going to stop me. I went out to the doctors earlier to restock on my anti depressants. I go extra. I didn’t actually run out but this is how I'm leaving. I don’t want it to be obvious and I don’t want it to be painful. I've sat here for the last hour and a half writing my note and its done. It's three in the morning and I've just swallowed two bottles full of pills while I'm wrapped up in my blanket of my bed. I'm sorry to everyone that might be hurt after I'm gone but its for the best.


I'll see you soon guys. I love you…

Char xxx



























*charlottes mums POV*

Its !0 o'clock and I've just finished cooking pancakes for the kids.

"Aden, Char, Liam, Courtney, Damon!! Breakfast is ready. "



"thanks mum"

Char hadn't come out yet. That was weird but she sleeps with headphones in so she must not have heard me. It was eerily quiet in her end of the house. As I opened the door I saw her lifeless body lying down on the bed. She actually did it. I noticed the note sitting on her desk. I would read that later. As I got my phone out I dialled 000. I explained what happened and they got the ambulance immediately. Even though her father, Justin, and I are divorced he is staying up here at the moment because he was worried about Char. I didn’t even realise I was crying until I felt tears spill over my eyes. I had to tell Justin.


"Justin it's Maria."

" hey what's wrong?"

"Justin she did it. She actually did it." I broke down at that point. I could hear his voice get thicker as he spoke.

" what do you mean she did it Maria? What do you fucking mean?! She cant be gone. She cant be!! This is my fault. If I had of watched her then she wouldn’t have left."
" Justin its not your fault. She was bound to do it at some point in time. She lost Matilda only a month ago and she lost James only a couple of weeks ago. She lost her brother and her sister. That hurts and it would especially at that age. We just need to come to terms that she is gone. Now I need to go and tell the kids. I’m sorry Justin. She will forever be in our hearts."


How the fuck was I going to tell the kids.

" Kids can you come down here please. I need to tell you something."

"what's wrong mum?" Aden said warily noticing the tears stream down my cheeks.

" yeah mum what's wrong and where's Char?" said Damon.

" kids… Char is gone. She passed away this morning."

"she actually did it?"
"yeah she did I'm sorry Aden. Its hard to explain why she did it and I don’t think any one of us could have felt the pain that her and her friends were going through this past month and I don’t think se is the last one that will go but right now I need your help with the children because they don’t understand what's going on. Can you do that for me?"

" yeah sure. Let me just go and call Ashleigh and see if she can come over."


I don’t know why you did it but I understand that you had to. I hope you and tilly and James are okay wherever you are and I'll see you again some other time. I love you charlotte don't ever forget that.



*A/N* That was the last official chapter guys. I'll post Charlotte's note either tonight or tomorrow. To the person I wrote this story about. I know you’ve read it and don’t comment back to this but I love you. We all love you so please don’t ever do this because this I s what would happen. I love you <3

Ashcarrot <3


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