For You, Zack

I love and hate at the same time. It is time to let it all out. I am letting this all out to you, Zack. You hold me together without even knowing it.


3. We talked

Dear Zack

He started a conversation with me. I did not just walk into the group of friends he is usually with and started talking. He pointed me out. He called me out. When he could have just continued the conversation like any, he spoke to me first. I felt like being mean to him. I felt like making him embarrassed and pained in front of all of our friends. I did not do that. I did not feel like I should be mean to Her though. It is just that I feel the need to be cruel to him. He hurt me so I have the the urge to hurt him.

I luckily do not see him as much as I do now. I do not pick him out in a crowd like I used to. He is just there like everyone else. Eventually I always notice him though. But when I notice him, I don't feel as much pain. I sometimes feel like smiling like old times, but this is new. He is not there.

You do not know it, but you are there for me now. You do not even know that you are holding me together and healing me. I probably won't tell you. You may figure out some day, but today is not that day.

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