For You, Zack

I love and hate at the same time. It is time to let it all out. I am letting this all out to you, Zack. You hold me together without even knowing it.


6. Him

Dear Zack,

I do not love Him anymore. I already knew that He did not love me. I know we will both always look at each other and remember all of the times we shared, but we will not still feel the pain of being apart. I still feel a little pain thinking about Him, but not as much. I feel pain when I think of Him and Her together, but I do not decide what they do with their lives.

I do feel hurt when you see Her though, and not me. I know She is your best friend, but I wish you saw me too. I do not want Her to have taken Him away from me after two years of us being in love, then you too.

He is not holding me together anymore though. She is not the only one that I have to talk to anymore. I have you to make me smile while I cry over a bad day. You are there to laugh with me when we both had a normal day that we make into a fun few hours of talking. You do not notice any of that though. You think that I am just texting you like I would anyone else, but really I am only texting you in the afternoons so I do not feel as lonely. You are there for me, but you don't know it. You do not realize that I think you are so cute when you look up from your phone smiling because you know I am waiting patiently for you to acknowledge that I am standing in front of you. Then you speak in such a formal way, making me want to speak like I am a formal business person as well. Thinking about you I even start to use a more mature vocabulary. Just like your voice, your smile is contagious! I really do not see why people call it rare when you smile at the stuff I say all the time.

Thinking about you smiling at me all the time has brought to my attention that you might like me. Then I remember that you are His best friend. Then comes to mind that you are also Her best friend. Next I think of how I have my hopes too high. Last, I figure that I am just thinking that you smile all the time at me when you really do not. Remembering, you really do not smile that often at me. And then I am back to not wanting you to ever figure out how much I really like you.

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