Unnamed - A Cancer Story


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1. The last words.

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine a world without him, I couldn’t even think about it without beginning to sob. While tears were streaming down my face I held his hand “You can’t leave, don’t leave me! I wouldn’t want to live in a world without you!” I said with a few sobs in the middle of the sentences. Even though I’ve known this would happen for a long time I just couldn’t let him go. I just couldn’t face a world without him.

Why did he have to get sick? Why couldn’t it be another person? I know 4 out of 10 people get cancer and that’s sick, but why him?

I would love to grow old with him, but that isn’t the way it’s supposed to, and I guess you can’t change what’s supposed to be. He’s been through chemo and lots of tests, but his tumors just didn’t want to shrink.

I just didnt want him to let go, but either way he had to. I took a last sob, and put my hand on his cheek, I rubbed away the tears with my thumb. Then came the last breath, I couldn't even look at him at that time, the fact that he couldn't hear me anymore made me sob again.

I put my head on his chest as I tried to mumble  a last goodbye, but all I i got out was 'I .... Love .... you'. I really wanted to say goodbye properly, but I just couldn't.

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