Back to Canada

Anna had always been that nerdy girl from Canada. The girl with the glasses, the boring clothes and the perfect grades. Everyone remebered her as that girl. But when she returns to her old school, nobody realises it's her. Is it her new start, or is it just the same life over again? And what happends when Justin Bieber, who was the worst of all in the past, invites her to his party? What happends if she goes? ...

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58. ~ Knives To The Throat ~


Anna's P.O.V.

"This ... Is all your fault"

That was the last thing Jennifer Mendler said to me, before she pushed me away and left. I felt bad. Not because I was guilty of anything, but because they both will face so many struggles, just like I did in the past. Even though they caused every single struggle, cut, tear ... They still did'nt deserve anything like what I got. But I could'nt stop it. The only thing I could do, was to pretend I did'nt care. They'll know in a few months ... And when they do ... Maybe they'll understand ...

If I laugh at whats happening to them, I'm part of it. So I chose not to laugh. I never chuckled. I never smiled. And I never said anything bad about them behind their backs. But that did'nt stop others.

The only positive thing there was, was that I did'nt have to fight to be the best anymore. I felt sick after thinking that. Because Jennifer is going through God knows what, and I'm thinking about myself ... Dammit.

Justin did'nt talk to me or to anyone in the beginning. After a few weeks he talked to Chaz and Ryan, if he was'nt ditching. Jennifer ditched too, but I doubt they were together. Whenever Jenny walked through the hall, someone would yell things like: "Watch out, the slut's comming through!" or "It carries diseases, spread out!"

I had wished for something like that for years ... But when I finally saw it ... It did'nt feel as good as I had hoped ... I felt awful ... And I could'nt help her, because she would'nt listen, and I ... I'm to scared to go back and take her place. I don't want to be called 'Slut' or 'Nerd' again. Or 'Geeky Maribeth'. I did'nt want that. I don't know if I would survive that again. Waking up every day, where it's a struggle to walk through the corridors.

 

I found her in the bathroom once. She was puking. I never knew much about pregnancy, but I knew she should'nt have morning sickness that often anymore. It was obvious. She was starving herself to make it stop ... To make people stop calling her fat and a slut ...

"Jennifer? ..."

The puking continued.

"Jennifer, what on earth are you doing!?" I whispered.

Who knew who could be listening? ... :I

"Go away Rachel ... This does'nt concern you" She said and looked back at me. She had dark bags under her eyes, like she had'nt even slept. Her face looked sick and she was sweaty.

"You can't do this" I said. "It's selfish. You are not only starving yourself, you're starving your baby!" I was suddenly yelling. It just made me angry.

"Why do you care?" She hissed, but she had clearly gotten my point.

"You've been given something beautiful, Mendler. And even though it may not seem like it now, it's one of the greatest gifts you'll have. Your money, your car, your house? They won't matter anymore"

She got really quiet and we just sat there for a minute.

"It's not Justins ... But I guess you and everyone else already knows that ..." She sighed. She slowly got up, since it was hard with her new round stomach. "I'm not keeping it. I can't be a single parent"

"Have you talked to the father? ..." I was curious and worried. Who was it, and has she actually done it? ...

"No ... I've avoided him ... I don't want him to talk me into keeping it. I just can't ..."

"Jennifer-..."

"No! ... Look, you have everything now. Enjoy it. Enjoy your last three months of high school. Because they will be gone soon. Enjoy the popularity. But remember this ...-" She looked me coldly in the eyes.

"Reputations take a lifetime to build, but only seconds to destroy" She then walked to the door. She was about to leave, but I got to say this to her:

"I did'nt send that text"

She looked back at me and said: "I know you did'nt. You're too nice. But the rest of the school does'nt know that. It's them you have to convince, not me"

"I'm really sorry ..."

"Me too Rachel. Me too ..." She then left ...

The thing I had always wanted did'nt feel great. I felt like knives were to my throat, just waiting to make their move and finish me off. Whoever did this is going to go through me. Because I am not letting Jennifer give up on that child. And I am certainly not taking the fall, for something I did'nt do.

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