Back to Canada

Anna had always been that nerdy girl from Canada. The girl with the glasses, the boring clothes and the perfect grades. Everyone remebered her as that girl. But when she returns to her old school, nobody realises it's her. Is it her new start, or is it just the same life over again? And what happends when Justin Bieber, who was the worst of all in the past, invites her to his party? What happends if she goes? ...

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45. ~ Alliances & Plans ~

Anna's P.O.V.

There's not a lot to tell, after what happened New Years Eve. My feelings for him came back, we realised we could'nt just be friends and we ... I'll get there later. Maybe it was the right call, maybe it was'nt. How would I know?

I still get butterflies whenever I think of him. I still smile whenever I hear his name. I still have dreams about being happy with him. For the first time in a very long time ... I feel good. But he does'nt know that ... Because I turned him down ...

 

***

 

I felt the wind gently kiss my face, while he drove me to school. No one knew about us, since it was the first day back after the holidays. It was time to announce it, and in this town truth luckily travels faster than the rumours. No one knows about why Justin and Jennifer broke up, or why they're back together again.

While he drove, I took a quick secound to study his beautiful face. I felt the necklace - that he gave me a long time ago - get as light as a feather, while my caramel eyes caught his ocean blue. We were not going to make the same mistakes this time. Because this relationship was'nt real. This was for attention. We had plan, that I'm not ready to share yet. But if you really know me, you know that I would'nt do this, unless it was important.

The car suddenly stopped in front of the school. Our eyes slowly met.

"You ready to do this thing?" His voice sounded concerned, but I could be wrong.

I nodded.

I suddenly felt the warmth from his black leather jacket, that I was wearing. It still felt good, but our feelings for eachother were gone. We were friends. Close friends.

We got out of the car and I felt his arm around me, just before he kissed my cheek. A lot of girls sent me a jealous glare, but I pretended like I did'nt see them.

"I know this is not my call Rachel, but I think you're doing the right thing" He whispered.

I flashed a weak smile.

"Thanks Chris, that means a lot"


A/N:

Hey ... :)

I know it's been a while, but ... I'm good. I've been well for the last week and I've made tons of progress.

I'm kinda my own therapist (;

I've eaten, I've been out with friends and I have'nt thought about my ex-best-friend at all. My friends and you guys have been so supportive and it helped in more ways than you can imagine. I don't miss her anymore. Of course it hurts to think about her, but I'm kinda used to being left. Even though I opened up to her in ways I still have'nt with my friends, I somehow was on watch all the time. I did'nt even think I'd be able to let her go.

But people that can just forget you and leave, without even telling you, are bad news. And I feel like a big rock that has been tied to my shoulders is just ... Gone. I feel good. For the first time, in a very long time. I feel really good. It was brutal in the beginning but as soon as I was out ... As soon as I got fresh air, that I was supported by my friends, my fans ... I was good. So thank you. You're one of the reasons I'm good. One of the reasons I did'nt get an eating disorder, stress or any kind of abandoning issues.

I'm doing my best, to let you guys know, how grateful I am.

I ... I'm not strong, even though everyone around me seems to think I am. That's a facade. A lie. It's like ... It's like I've buildt walls around me out of stone, without using the cement. But somehow, when the big bad wolf comes ... It still holds. Thanks to you.

I'll always be grateful. I'll always be around. And I promise, that if you have no one to talk to, just ask for help.

Thank you.

A.S.L. Is back on track baby! :DD

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