Alex Who?

Raelynn Jo Townslee is new in town and she must start at a new high school in the middle of her Junior year. She doesn't care what people think about her and its that attitude that always lands her in trouble. Every since Kenny (Kennedy) died she gave up on the world and she stopped giving a fuck about what happens around her. Raelynn has had multiply run-ins with the law, she loves the adrenaline that fighting gives her. And her family is almost as fucked up as her. What happens when someone threatens to tear down her walls? What happens when she is all alone?


5. Sketching

I let my hands move freely over the paper, not paying attention to what I was drawing until the picture was done, I had drawn a picture of Alex and his piercing blue eyes, oh how I hate those eyes and that smile and his adorable self. Ugh I can't get him out of my head now! I mean he was super hot but he was so cocky and rude to me, but maybe that's what makes him so irresistible because no other guy has ever talked to me like that without getting the shit beat out of him. After a little thinking I decided not to tear up the paper so I left it in my sketch book and headed out to the balcony to think and relax.  A couple minutes after I walked out on the balcony Russell came in my room and walked over to me with a tray of French toast and raspberry tea. "I figured you might have been hungry so I made your favorite, and umm mom called..... She isn't coming back, she said she is tired of having to deal with us so we are on our own but she promised to pay the bills so we could live here still." Russell said and tried to force a smile even though I could see right through it because I know how much he wishes she would start acting like a real mother so we could have a somewhat normal family but now that small hope of his is gone. "Hey cheer up Rus no more of her one night stands to deal with and now we can do whatever we want. You could even throw parties here now since she is gone!" I said and smiled trying to cheer Russell up. But it was hard because we have lived without knowing what it feels like to have a family so after a while you become desperate for anything close to a family and we thought that she might decided to settle down with a nice man sometime soon. After Russell left my room I sat down in the balcony and ate my lunch while Alex raced through my mind.

By the time it was dark I was super tired so I took a quick shower, put on my fluffy Mickey Mouse shorts with my Minnie Mouse tank-top, and climbed in my bed.


  "Kenny, Kenny, I'm here do you want to go to the park or somewhere to hang out? Umm why weren't you at school today, how about we go talk about it? Kenny? Kennedy!!!!" I screamed as I ran up the stairs to her room because she always waited on the couch for me so I was super worried something bad had happened to her. Her bedroom door was cracked open and I could hear music playing. I hurried in but froze by her bed, Kenny was laying in her bed and the blankets were red with her blood, she had cut both her wrist and her throat had a small slit. "Kennedy!!! No you can't leave me here I need you!!!!! How am I supposed to survive? You are the only one that I could trust with my secrets, you keep me alive!! Kenny I can't live without you I need you! Why did you do this to me? To us?" I asked her even though I knew she would never hear my pleas. There was a note in her pillow, so I picked it up to read it: "Rae I love you and I know this is hurting you but I couldn't do this anymore. I'm tired of being treated like shit by everyone. I love you and I wish there was a way I could stay and protect you but I must move on and so must you. Please don't grief over me I want you to have a great life and I promise to look after you from heaven. And I know Russell will be there for you.  Tell my parents to go fuck themselves because they are horrible parents. AND tell my younger brother, Jak that I love him and he has to watch over Anna, tell Anna that I love her and she has to stay strong even though I'm not there for her any more. Good bye for now your my best friend and my sister. Love you. And I know that one day we'll meet again up in heaven. Bye For Now, Kenny."    

-end of nightmare-

Yet again I woke up screaming but that nightmare was different because its been awhile since I last had that one. And it makes me miss her more than ever, since I know I wont be able to go back to sleep so I got my sketchbook out and draw a picture of Kenny.

After I'm done with the drawing I look at it and see it was the image of the last time I saw Kenny, laying in bed surrounded by those hideous blood soaked sheets and the slits across her wrists and neck. Even though the picture came from my mind it looked exactly like her, her eyes were just the way I remember them being the day I found her, they were open staring at the door looking right at me. She knew I would find her and she wanted me to see her eyes, they finally looked happy and the pain was gone from them, she even had a smile on her face. Kenny was finally happy and she is still happy today up in heaven, I bet she is the most beautiful angel up there, I bet her wings are the beautiful clouds that we used to admire together before her death.

Kenny always loved the idea of heaven and the happiness that everyone finds when they get there, she told me all the time that she dreamed of heaven. She said it was the most beautiful place that you could imagine, her face would light up when she thought about heaven. It was the only thing that made her happy so I guess I should have known she would commit suicide because she loved heaven, she wanted to be there more than she ever wanted anything. She told me she felt like she was already an angel but she was placed on this Earth to be my friend and keep me company. Maybe she was right, maybe she was only here for me, to teach me strength and that way I could raise awareness against what those cruel people would do to us. Kenny was an angel she was so sweet, she had a big loving heart even when the world treated her bad she would give anything to make sure everyone was happy. Maybe that's why she committed suicide because she thought it would make all the bullies happy, but she forgot about how bad she would hurt me, she forgot how fragile I was and she left me when I was in need.



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