Beautiful Disaster

Daesung always said he wouldn't hesitate to date a fan he truly liked. Why would that change now?

A tragedy within a perfect love story, Daesung and Mina didn't see it coming.

*ALSO POSTED ON WATTPAD.COM* *OLD STORY. REALLY BAD*

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1. Beautiful Disaster

I WROTE THIS JUST AFTER I GOT INTO KPOP ABOUT TWO - THREE YEARS AGO. BIGBANG WAS MY FIRST FAVE GROUP. I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND KOREAN CULTURE NOR THE LANGUAGE (ALTHOUGH I KNOW A FAIR BIT NOW). I DON'T PLAN TO EDIT THIS BECAUSE A) NO PERSONAL MOTIVATION TO DO SO, B) NO ONE EVEN READS THIS ANYMORE. PLEASE DO UNDERSTAND THAT NONE OF THE MEMBERS OF BIGBANG ACT HOW I PORTRAY THEM IN THIS FAN-FIC. I CREATED THEIR PERSONALITIES.

 

“You’ll be ok, Mina, I’m right here!” Kang Dae Sung screams, hand grasping the frail hand of a girl being rushed on a hospital bed down a sickeningly white corridor.

The white attacks Daesung’s sense’s, almost finding it hard to process exactly what was happening. A girl he fell so incomprehensively in love with was being wheeled down the corridor to an operating theatre and he can’t do a thing to help her. As a doctor holds him back, a ring emits around his eardrums and he can’t hear a thing. But he knows he’s best hearing this than whatever the doctors may be shouting; most of it not good news.

Daesung lunges forward as the bed slams into the operating theatre doors and she’s gone. “Mina! Let me see her, please!” he wails, his arms scraping across the metal doorframe causing paint to gather under his nails. “I need to see her!”

Several people are climbing to get him under control, from hurting himself and those around him. “We’re sorry sir, but you’re not authorised to be present during surgery,” a nurse tries to explain but Daesung is having none of it as he flails about.

“I’m sorry, sir, but if you don’t calm down we’re going to have to restrain you.” But when Daesung was finally restrained by several security guards on scene, he didn’t put down the fight. With insane guilt taking over his main thoughts, he didn’t think about the consequences of the moment and was still living in the past when the car hit Mina’s body. It’s my entire fault, I caused this.

Something stabs into his shoulder, briefly distracting him. Daesung eyes the needle and plunger disappearing into the tube of a cloudy liquid and he knows what’s coming.

First his vision clouds and the constant ring fades from his range. Then, finally, he fades into black as he’s propped up on a seat and left alone.

As he’s about to fall into complete and utter internal chaos, prisoner to his own mind, he thinks solely of Mina. Whispering with a faint heart, “I’ll be right here, waiting.”

***

“Come on, hurry it along! The boys don’t have all night,” a hefty security guard shoves teenagers up in the line closer to the band that stand behind a table meters away signing screaming girls’ cards.

A seventeen year old girl is shoved into the back of another fan, but they don’t notice and continue trying to climb atop other girls to get closer. Mina doesn’t focus on that, and tries her best to stay upright.

“Watch it!” A girl suddenly turns around and comes face to face with the small British-Japanese girl. “Wait your turn,” she demands over the loud atmosphere.

Mina doesn’t know how to respond. She looks around quickly for her friends, but they’re nowhere to be seen. “I-,” Mina stutters. “I didn’t do anything.” And in all truthfulness, Mina had done nothing. She was waiting patiently, but it was the other more eager fans making it seem like she was in fact pushing people out the way.

The girls face transforms before Mina’s eyes. “What did you say?” She takes a tiny step forward.

Mina shies away and bows her head. Maybe if she acts invisible, the girl will just turn around and let her see her idols ‘BigBang’ in peace. 

She feels an index finger poke at her shoulder. “I said,” the girl growls, “What. Did. You. Say?” a hand is raised, as if to slap Mina.

Another girl turns to face the two, Mina can sense she’s a friend of the other girl and cringes. Where the hell is Georgia, Mina thinks.

Mina feels a hot flush creeping up her neck and engulfs her face. No, not good. “Is she bothering you?” The girl asks. For a second, Mina thinks she’s speaking to her. False hope. She’s talking to her friend, of course. Why would she ask a stranger over her friend?

“Damn well she is. Shoving me about, aren’t you? Being cheeky, too.” All lies, Mina thought, but the friend wouldn’t believe her if she even tried explaining.

The girl gets a devious look and before she knows it, she sees the girl raise her fist and take an even closer step. “Now you’re going to walk straight to the back of the queue and stay there, you hear me?” The other girl swings her fist back and narrows her eyes.

Then, suddenly, her fist is captured in another person’s hand. Mina looks up ever so slowly and with a gasp she take in the sight before her .

There’s absolutely no way she wouldn’t have been able to recognise the white-ish blonde hair sweeping over half his face and his perfect body. Only one person looked like that, and that was Daesung, a member of big bang that she had been eager to see.

“I think it’s best you drop your fist and leave,” Daesung instructs the two girls, having yet not acknowledged Mina. Mina didn’t mind, she only cared that he was standing so close. And that perhaps the two girls might leave her alone now.

The two girls stood shell shocked. One of them encases her fist and strokes it like a precious gem once Daesung releases her hand.

A security guard is quick to react and comes and escorts the girls away. Mina watches shyly under Daesung’s watch and some curious people around her. “Are you ok?” He asks in a thick Korean accent.

Mina swipes some hair from her eyes and tries to stop herself from being shoved around by oblivious crowds. “I’m fine, thanks.”

Daesung quickly looks around him at the fans who are suddenly noticing him. He gives them small smiles. “You look a little pale, you should probably step out of the queue,” he suggests.

But Mina doesn’t want to step out the queue. Step out the queue and she’ll give up her place. She couldn’t do that, she didn’t want to give up her place before she even gets to meet her idols. Mina wouldn’t give up so easily. “I-I...” She stutters and decided off replying.

“Come on, you really look ill,” he smiles warmly over the ear breaking noise.

Mina struggles to decide, but as another person is rammed into the back of her, she’d decided. She looks up through her hair at Daesung and smiles. “Thanks,” she whispers.

Daesung turns around and looks behind his shoulder as he begins to walk away. “No problem.” And Mina follows, hoping that Daesung wasn’t just pulling her leg.

***

“Did you like the show?” He asks as he sits beside me in the green room.

I take a bite from a small biscuit and try my best not to embarrass myself. I nod politely, “it was nice, and by far the best concert I’ve ever been.” Mina was fan-girling, she could feel it. The giddiness she’d felt throughout when they’d stepped out on stage was something she’d never experience before and right now it was bubbling right back up her spine.

“I’m glad,” he mumbles, before a smile lights his face and his cheeks turn a shade darker.

The noise outside isn’t as muffles as Mina had hoped, but right now that didn’t matter. “Don’t you need to see some other fans?” I ask.

“The signing only had half an hour more, I also had a lot of pre-signed cards prepared, anyway,” Daesung reasons as he sinks into the brown leather of the couch.

Mina couldn’t help but admire how prepared Daesung was, how charming he was turning out to be. How long had he spent beforehand preparing resigned cards?

Daesung looks at his silver watch strapped to his wrist. “The signing should be finished now, the crew will be arriving any time now.”

Mina sits up straight as if a board has been put up the back of her. A nervous twinge overcomes her. No, did Mina really want to be in the room when BigBang and their managers would be present? Mina could only dream of it, but now the situation had come up and Mina was nervously sitting twiddling her thumbs. Their back up dancers, their backing singers, everyone would be in this room and they’d wonder why she was here? Then they’d find out that Daesung had more or less rescued the meek girl from a crowd of rowdy teens. They’d laugh.

Mina stutter as she struggles to get up, “I-I should probably be going...”

Daesung wraps a gentle hand around her wrist. “You don’t want to meet the rest of the band now?” But Mina couldn’t concentrate on his words and looked carefully at his tanned hand wrapped around her hand. This is a dream.

As Daesung pulled her back down, Mina stared carefully from the corner of her eye. Daesung is certainly beautiful. With his new blonde style, Daesung was probably the most attractive out of the lot. His eyes smile when he smiles, too cute for his own good. Mina smiles just from looking at him.

The door across from them opens, letting noise pour in. Mina’s attention is immediately grabbed as her ears and eyes perk as they lay wait for whoever may step through.

“Kang, that show was just amazing!” Walking slowly towards us both, G-dragon appears. Just as stunning close up as he is from afar.

Daesung gets up and greets G-dragon. “Have to agree with you there, Kwon.” Both with theme immensely thick Korean accents, they probably speak very little English.

Then g-dragon looks directly at me as he leans to the side past Daesung’s taller build. “And who is this?” no longer sounding as cheerful. “I don’t think we’re allowed to bring fans backstage, Daesung.” 

Daesung shrugs. “She was in a little trouble, I couldn’t just watch.”

G-dragon fixed his shiny gold waist coat and leans on his hip. “That’s what the security guards are for.”

“She’s here now, so let’s leave her be,” Daesung argues.

Mina hides behind her hair and gently covers a good proportion of her face with her hand over her mouth.

G-dragon just shakes his head with a playful smile and stalks closer to Mina. “I’m GD, nice to meet you,” he said.

I shyly smile back after removing my hand.

“Nice to meet you too.” 

 

***

 

Mina woke up to a good morning text. Daesung was back in South Korea with the rest of the amazing band preparing for their next album and tour.

Good morning, Mina. Just going out for dinner, hope you have a nice day. It read. Sender read Daesung.

Back on the day of the London concert, Daesung had stuck with her right until the venue was preparing to shut down. Nearly midnight. She neither received any alarmed texts from her friends or anyone who might be worried about her not being home yet. So she had no intentions of leaving until forced to.

Daesung had made sure to stay by her, and although he was nearly a full seven years older than her, Daesung enjoyed her company – Mina hadn’t acted like an obsessed fan but all the while holding a nice little shy interest in them. Daesung liked that.

When midnight had finally struck, Daesung had to leave but not before giving her his email address. They’d been talking ever since through text, web calls, and email.

And although no one knew about Mina’s unsuspecting friendship with a Korean pop-singer, Mina was finding herself slowly falling in love with him even only having met him once.

Mina found herself regretting it every day, how in the world would she hide it from him? She couldn’t just carry on being friends for much longer. His charm was too much, the way his face lit up once in a while, the way he cared for her. Her friends continuously gushed about the band while Mina sat with a smirk texting Daesung. She never intends for any of them to find out, they’d go mental!

But Daesung found himself in the same situation. His band mates thought he’d forgotten the English-Chinese girl long ago, but a year on and he’d still not lost touch. Mina was something more, a comfort he looked forward to talking to in the evening when she finally woke. When he couldn’t take rehearsals, Mina brought him normality, when he wanted someone to hear him out, Mina was there. But his band mates are like brothers, Daesung felt like he was betraying them because he was keeping something so big from them. They wouldn’t understand, they’d ask questions that he wouldn’t be able to answer.

Daesung himself couldn’t understand why the teenager had captured him when they’d first met. Maybe it was her look of innocence and need for a knight, maybe it was her cute small face, maybe it was because Daesung is going crazy? Daesung thinks about it every day, just before he sends the good morning text to her. He sits and wonders what the hell is he doing? She’s 18 now; she doesn’t want anything to do with a man she’s never going to see again. Or at least, his band had no plans to go back to Europe.

He hits himself internally every day over his stupid decisions. He should have said goodbye and never spoken to the girl again, but she was do damn interesting. Daesung cursed his curiosity and interest. 

Daesung hadn’t went a day and not thought about Mina. She was cute, her small little face with a sharp nose and cute eyes. Long wavy hair. Dressing moderate. It’s how he liked women, and unfortunately a lot of his American and European fans didn’t seem to get that.

“Right, come on, we have got to learn this routine by the end of the week. We have a music video to shoot!” Tae Yang shouted in Korean from the other side of the studio.

Daesung calls back over in Korean, telling him he’ll just be a minute.

Looking down at his most recent text, he sighs.

Mina had just texted him telling him how she was fed up with school. Daesung had been telling her how he was fed up with these late night rehearsals.

Mina: It’s ok, once you’re on tour meeting all your fans you’ll be glad you put in the effort.

Daesung: At least I hope.

Tae Yang stalks over and angrily grabs DaeSung’s shoulder from behind. “Who are you talking to, man? We need to get on with this.”

Daesung immediately locks his phone and throws it onto his bag on the ground. “No one. I’m ready now,” he says.

Tae Yang looks at him suspiciously before walking off towards the stereo. “Ok, again.”

But as Daesung looks in the huge mirrored walls, all he sees is a sweaty tired pathetic guy who’s hiding behind oceans.

Back in London, Mina felt the same way. Sitting in class hiding her phone behind a book. She felt completely and utterly pathetic. He’s still clueless for how much Mina actually felt for him and while trying to suppress these feelings, her friends were becoming suspicious. They wondered why Mina had taken no interest in boys in their last year of high school; they wondered why she hadn’t yet had a boyfriend. As stupid as Mina thought it to be, she was indirectly hoping for the day that Daesung would come back to England and maybe then she’d finally have a boyfriend.

Sitting in Geography wasn’t helping either. She could only barely make out South Korea and Britain from where she sat, the distance was huge. Sometimes, life seemed impossible.

Mina scolded herself. Life wasn’t going to stop just for some pretty Korean man.

“Mina!” a teacher calls from the front “Are you on your phone?”

Mina discreetly slides the smart phone into her jean pockets. “No,” she replies and begins to take her notes while her friends look at her curiously from both sides.

The teacher gives her a knowing look but doesn’t speak about it any further. Mina is thankful and just tries her best to get on with the given task.

 

 

****

 

Mina had probably received the news of the century. Daesung had texted and with that he brought good news.

Mina, I’m coming to London, he’d written.

Mina had been in the middle of early morning class, but that hadn’t stopped mina getting up wordlessly and leaving the room. Mina didn’t have words, not even to explain to her seriously confused friends.

Inside Mina was a little panicked, though. Seeing him face to face was different than over text. But she couldn’t tell him she didn’t want him here, because she very much did want him.

It had already been a month since the very text and it was only a week until her arrived. Daesung had taken a week’s holiday for himself. Instead of visiting family, he chose to visit Mina and that had Mina cuddling herself in her bedroom for a good few hours in giddy teenage joy.

Could she ever handle spilling her guts to Daesung? Telling him the ultimate truth? Time would tell.

***

“Mina!” Daesung spots her in the Airport. Daesung had no idea where he’d be meeting her, but it was hard to miss her when the only thing engraved in his mind for the past few months had been her face and voice, just waiting for this moment.

Laying eyes upon her was something different. He’d seen her through images, he’d seen her through video call, but nothing could compare to the non-static call of her voice and non-pixelated face. Her eyes looked brighter, her hair that little bit longer, her cheeks that little bit more cheekier.

When she smiled at him his world just stopped. In two long strides he held her in his arms, wrapped in a warm embrace. “It’s been a while,” Daesung laughs.

Mina lets out a nervous twitch of a laugh. “Almost a year.”

Daesung gives up trying to hold his carry-on bag and ditches it to floor to hold onto Mina tighter. “I know this sounds stupid, but I’ve missed you. You’re like a best friend to me,” Daesung whispers into her ear. Internally, Daesung was having a battle. Best friend or the woman he most definitely had fell uncontrollably in love with? The girl that stood in front of him whom he’d only seen a total of two times, the girl who texted him daily with sweet charming messages.

But, Daesung thought, there would be no way she feels the same way.

But Mina did feel the same way, and she felt crushed by the fact that he only saw her as a friend. She laughs nervously. “You don’t sound stupid. I feel the same way.” Implying she also thought of them as only friend.

Daesung’s grin faltered.

Mina breaks away and awkwardly steps away from him. Mina realises that was probably their first hug, the first time she hadn’t been nervous around him. For being completely smitten with the man, she was certainly still encountering a lot of firsts.

Daesung grabs her hand unexpectedly and Mina almost flinches away. Another first. “Your English is so much better,” Mina complements, remember the lack of English that he’d spoke back when they’d first met. “Much better,” she repeats, as if maybe it’s stop her from saying anything else.

Daesung’s grin meets his eyes and he faces Mina. “True and most of it is thanks to you. Our continuous texting has helped,” he said.

Mina feels embarrassed. Was her texting considered clingy? Red makes its way up her pale skin from her neck until it suffocates her face. “Glad to hear I could help.” And the conversation became awkward.

As they both walk off to get Daesung’s luggage, they remain in silence enjoying each other’s company. Daesung would be staying in a hotel in London, Mina promised to meet him every day.  Daesung promised to make up for all the days in between now and when they’d first met. It was sweet, really.

But as they exit the airport, a girl a little younger than Mina turns to stare. She stares directly at Daesung. Deep inside Mina knows why and she prays that the girl won’t remember Mina’s face. They know she’s with Daesung, they know he’s in London.

“Do your band members know you are here?” She asks.

Daesung shakes his head as they head over to the taxi bay. “They know I’m here, but they don’t know who I’m with,” he laughs. That worried Daesung even more, having said it aloud. If they found out he was with a British girl, a fan none of the less – the same fan from the concert a year ago – he might as well be kicked out of the group. It was well against group rules to get involved with any fans at concerts, never mind an overseas fan.

And his band members had been suspicious. He’d announced his leave and Tae Yang had immediately asked where. Daesung, of course, has been very brief and told him he was in London. A change in scenery. He didn’t buy it, but he didn’t ask any more questions.

“I don’t want anything to happen between you guys because of me.” almost as soon as Mina said it, she regretted it.

“They’ll just have to deal with it. We’ve been talking for a year now, there’s no way I’m giving you up after everything we’ve told each other,” Daesung mutters. “And happy extremely belated birthday,” Daesung laughs as he leans over and pressed his lips to the hair on top of her head, far too tall to reach her face while she’s looking down.

Mina stops in her tracks and almost completely still apart from a light sway. Shock. And that was the exact same emotion Daesung felt – because he’d been gutsy enough to do that. 

“Eh, thanks.” Mina tries to forget, but even as they walk away all she wants him to do is do it again. 

 

****

 

“Daesung!” Daesung hears his own name and seconds later Kwon G-dragon is standing in the door to the room in the recording studio. “What the hell is this?” He points to the mobile in his hand and Daesung immediately flushes. He couldn’t have read the texts?

“What the hell are you doing with my stuff?” Daesung asks in Korean.

G-Dragon replies in Korean as well. Ignoring Daesung completely, he continues on his rant. “First text: Good morning, Mina, hope you  have a good day,” Kwon rages with a glare.

Daesung lunges for the mobile, praying he hadn’t read the rest of the texts. It seems after his visit to Mina, the texts are growing more often and more frequent from both parties. “You have no right!”

“Reply received at 6:54PM, ‘hope you have had a good day, and thanks.” G-dragon looks furious. “Who the hell is Mina?”

But Daesung was struggling for words. He knew all along keeping this secret wasn’t going to do him any good, and now here he was. “She’s just a friend,” Daesung defends. G-gradon had been a friend to Daesung for far too long, too long to not know when he was lying. Daesung had no hope.

Daesung looks offended. “Daesung, I’m not stupid. Isn’t Mina the girl from that concert in London?” Kwon looks ready to boil over. 

Daesung looks up through his hair, as if being scolded by a parent. He nods slowly.

G-dragon flips it. His leg kicks into a door and he begins to curse. “Damn it, Daesung, there are rules in place for a reason! Never get involved with a fan!” G-dragon tries his best to calm down. Leaning back against the wall, G-dragon drags a hand down his face. “How old is she?”

“18,” Daesung mumbles, not even with the strength to keep the information private.

G-dragon gets up and wrings his hands painfully. “Or at least that’s what she told you.”

Daesung shakes his head defiantly. “No, she wouldn’t lie to me.” and Daesung would stand by that. Mina would never lie to him, he wouldn’t believe it. Mina was more than just a friend now, and he wouldn’t stand anyone talking bad about her.

“Fans have done it before and they’ll do it again. If she’s under 16, Daesung, do you realise how much shit you’ll be in? You’re 25,” Kwon G-dragon yells, trying to suppress his anger.

Daesung takes a step forward. “Nothing illegal has happend, G-Dragon!” Daesungs raised voice shocks Kwon into silence. “We’re just friends,” Daesung mumbles to the silence.

Tae Yang appears by the door. “What’s illegal?” He curiously asks.

G-Dragon looks at Daesung dissapointedly as he pushes himself up from the wall and walks away. “Come on, man, we got rehearsals to maintain.” So g-dragon takes a confused Tae Yang with him.

Daesung slowly sinks to the ground holding his phone in his hand, the silence now almost too much.

This wasn’t happening. Exactly what Mina had worried would happen was becoming a reality. Falling out with his bandmembers because of her.

Dialling the engraved numbers from his mind into his phone, he heard it beep. He didn’t care that it was only 7 in the morning over there, he didn’t care one bit. He just wanted to hear her voice, to be reassured.

“Hello?” Daesung could tell that he’d woke her. Her voice was high and croaky. She probably hadn’t read the called ID.

Daesung sighed. “Hi, Mina.”

“Daesung? Is there something wrong?” Daesung heard moving around on the line, her voice a little strained.

He laughs slightly, glad that she wasn’t pissed with him – of course she wouldn’t be pissed with him. “I just need someone to talk to. Bad time at the studio.”

Mina giggles. “What happened this time?” She obviously isn’t taking Daesung seriously, it was one of the things he admired in her.

“Kwon went through my phone. He saw our messages. He knows somethings up,” he explains glumly.

Mina gasps. “No...” in shock.

Daesung pulls one knee up and uses it as a place to put his elbow as he swipes his hand down his face. “He kept going on about rules,” Daesung groans.

“You can’t fall out with your band members, not now, not when you have a big tour coming up,” Mina tells him, concerned.

Daesung smiles to himself appreciatively. “I just needed to talk to you, you always seem to make me feel a bit better.”

“I’m causing more trouble that what it’s worth, Daesung,” Mina whispers, probably not trying to wake the rest of the house.

“No, don’t ever think that. You’re important to me.”

Mina sighs. “And you’re important to me. I seriously don’t know what I wouldn’t have done if I didn’t have you on speed dial.”

And that’s how the next hour went on. Endless chat and soon enough it was time for Mina to get ready for the day and it was time for Daesung to go home.

By the time he entered the main recording area no one was around apart from his producer. “Where’s GD and Tae Yang?” Daesung asks.

The producer doesn’t even glance at Daesung, making it hard to tell if he knows or not. Worry settles into Daesung’s bones. “They left early.” And that was Daesung’s signal to leave.

But as Daesung trudges out onto the cold street and gets in his car, he can’t help but wonder about what might happen next. Because one thing is for sure; it’s not going to be easy.

 

***

Daesung and his band had a worldwide tour coming up; UK dates included. Both dates in London sold out. He was certainly proud of it.

Upon his arrival back in Korea, Tae Yang had forgotten what he’d seen and G-Dragon didn’t mention it again. Daesung could tell for a while he was still concerned. But it was out the way, that’s all that mattered.

He and Mina could continue without any hassle. Or so he’d hope.

“Stay close by, there are some fans waiting inside the airport,” Their bodyguard had informed them. Daesung hoped Mina would be somewhere in the crowd.

As they exit into the main airport and through the checks, fans crowded as far as they could. Daesung looked around as much as he could, trying to spot Mina hoping he could see her again. It had been half a year, after all, since he’d last seen her in person.

Daesung lingered to the side as his managers sorted some stuff out. Fans were hovering shyly in small groups, taking peeks, giggling and then taking some photos.

Daesung smiles and that sets off screams from a group who had been watching him. Too nervous to come over for an autograph.

“Right, that’s us done here.”

Daesung ups from his leaning position and joins G-Dragon as they walk through the airport. As TOP appears beside Daesung, girls simultaneously scream and snap their cameras. The attention is something TOP has enjoyed, but in his own little way. Walking with a small smirk, he speeds ahead and takes a group of girls with him. Daesung laughs under his breath and his own small group of fans giggles as they record.

Looking up from under his longer hair, Daesung peers around. Just in the distance, he sees her. She looks better than he had imagined she would. With a tighter fitting black t-shirt with the BigBang logo and skinny fit jeans, he didn’t think he’d seen her looking any better. Lightly curled hair and highlighted. Beautiful.

Mina stood with friends by the elevator, knowing fine well that they were heading that way. Daesung quickly pulls out his phone and texts ‘I don’t suppose you want an autograph? ;D’

Mina gives a small hidden smile at Daesung before pulling out her phone. ‘Would love one, from a star like yourself’ she replies. Mina grins in patience as her friends jump around on the spot excitedly.

TOP is already waiting by the elevator, signing as many cards as he can. Daesung loves the feel, the fans and how dedicated they must be. But, though, it did become a little crowded. Invasive.

“Daesung!” Some girls scream at him in a jumble of other names. Daesung looks up and gives a shy smile, but he’s not interested in them.

He walks closer to the elevator, as if he’s just only waiting, ready to go.

“Daesung?” He hears. He smirks under his hair. “Could you sign this?” He looks up to meet Mina’s eyes.

Probably the happiest he’d looked all day, he takes the notepad and signs it for her just as the elevator door opens.

Mina takes it back and confidently says a thank you. Daesung shares a small look with her, one that hopefully translated into something like ‘I’ll see you later’ because Daesung damn well wanted to see her in the coming hours.

GD follows slowly behind as fans try to get in the elevator with them but the bodyguard pushes them out. GD seems to spot something, though, and a horrible feeling comes up inside him. “She looks familiar,” he mutters loud enough for Daesung to hear. He peaks around the door and Daesung’s heart rate increases.

GD turns around slowly to narrow his eyes. “We need to talk. As soon as we’re back at the hotel.” And then the world stops.

As the doors shut and the screams become more and more muffled, he can see Mina. Her face drop when she sees his face and he’s worried he’s concerned her.

But GD’s mood has taken a complete swing, Tae Yang is in the corner bobbing his head to whatever he’s listening to, TOP stands nearly emotionless, and Seungri can’t stand still. At least the others hadn’t noticed anything off. 

***

“Then why the hell was she at the airport, then?” Kwon GD shouts as Daesung stands helplessly.

Daesung appears to be gradually getting angrier. “She’s a fan, she would have found out and caught a bus. Why else would she be there?”

GD isn’t listening. “You ignored your other fans completely and went straight to her. You remember who she is, you remember what she looked like. You looked almost too comfortable around her. You know her much better than what constant texting would suggest, Daesung!”

“There’s been nothing more,” Daesung lies through his teeth. In this dark hotel room, he hoped the walls were sound proof.

GD Steps closer to Daesung. “There has, but you’re choosing not to tell us,” he growls.

“You have it all wrong, all wrong.” Daesung shakes his head as the buzz of a static television plays with his mind.

GD doesn’t think he has it wrong, though. He knew the look they shared spoke more than just ‘pen pals’ or ‘good friend’, it spoke ‘I miss you’ and maybe even ‘I really like you’. GD knew all too well how risky getting involved with a fan was. They lie, they manipulate, all to get what they want, and although he knew this wouldn’t apply to all fans he knew he couldn’t take chances.

It’s why they had rules.

Get involved with an underage fan and you might as well say bye to your career.

Bye bye to BigBang. Kwon G-Dragon couldn’t let that happen.

“You better break it off with this girl before we leave the UK, Kang, or bad things will happen.’ And then Kwon stalks out the hotel room with a slam of the door.

But all wasn’t well, even with Mina. She was giddy over that innocent contact with Daesung and the jealousy from her friends. They’d fawned over the paper like it was gold, but Mina knew it held a much deeper meaning.

And while this was probably a happy day, that last look of panic in Daesungs eyes is what sets Mina into a fit of worry. Because Daesung nearly never looks Panicked.

So what had happened? Had Daesung been told some bad news? Did he not like Mina as much as he appeared to?

No, don’t think like that.

But Mina couldn’t help it. Obsession, some might say, but she was worried that Mina was still that girl to him that he taken pity on.

It was almost a miracle that they still know each other. Mina half expected to wake up from a dream, or get told the number she had been texting was a fake, but it wasn’t, this is real.

All too real, and now it was getting dangerous.

Mina had been told about GD, how he was cautious over Mina, how he didn’t think she was genuine. That very much probably had everything to do with that look Daesung had on his face. But Mina was completely real, from tip to toes, top to bottom, Mina wasn’t a fake. Born in London, 18 years old, to parents both from China. She couldn’t prove it in any way she could think of, though.

In the hotel Daesung resisted a call to Mina. It would annoy GD if he found out and Mina has a life of her own – more of a life to always take his calls 24/7.

Daesung internally struggled as he tried to sit down and watch TV shows he could barely understand. The humour wasn’t something he was accustomed to and their thick accents confused him.

So, really, he had nothing to distract himself with. Thoughts rushed in but they didn’t rush out, and soon enough all these worries, memories and ideas crammed into his head and screamed at him loud enough that he curled himself over and clenched his hands by his ears. A headache was working its way inside, too.

But Daesung couldn’t resist touching his phone, so as he opened it up and scrolled through his photos he saw the good 100 photos he’d taken while here on his little break with Mina. The holiday photos, the photos which he often found himself looking at – reliving good times.

A photo of both Mina and him, taken with a frontal camera. Mina looked amazing while Daesung had a goofy smile, both appearing to have had a good time. It was a photo that portrayed better days.

He wished those better days could last a little longer. 

***

Mina had received a text from Daesung, he’d asked her to meet him at his hotel room. She’d got all the details and soon enough she’d got into a black cab and was heading down the main road towards the hotel.

He didn’t specify why, and he was texting differently that he normally did – not happy vibe, no ‘smiley faces’, and by this alone Mina knew something was up.

Mina presumed his band members were out – she knew all too well about how he wanted to keep it from his band members for as long as possible. So as Mina got into the hotel lift and up to the correct room, she had every right to feel comfortable.

No right to suspect anything out of place.

Knocking on the door she was surprised when G-Dragon opened the door. Mina thought about making an excuse, maybe saying she had the wrong room.

“Mina?” He asks, starting and shocking Mina. How did he know her name? “Come in,” he said, and she was in no place to argue.

As she enters into the dim hotel room, she doesn’t see Daesung. “Is Daesung around?” No point acting, now.

“No, but I’ve been wanting to speak to you for a while now,” G-Dragon almost snarls.

Mina’s face transforms into shock. “About what? How do you know about me?”

G-Dragon closes the hotel room door. “Daesung really needs to guard his phone better.” Mina puts the few dots together. He knew her name from the concert, recognised her name on his phone, and then saw her at the airport. “What is it between you two? Friends, more?” he asks.

Mina shakes her head. “It isn’t like that,” she nervously laughs.

“Funny you should say that, Daesung said the exact same thing.” But his doesn’t appear to be able to find a joke in any of it and stood opposite her in dingy lighting with a grim face. “You can’t go near Daesung, ok? You’ll ruin him.”

“I’ve done nothing!” Mina wails. Upset was bubbling inside her. Accusation killed her. Fear of Daesung never seeing her again stopped all reality.

G-Dragon shakes his head. “You’ve twisted Daesung right around your finger. I don’t know what your culture is over here but Korean men care very much for their women. Daesung loves you to extremes and he doesn’t need to be attached at this point in his career,” G-Dragon warns her.

Daesung loves her? Mina knows for sure he wouldn’t have said that himself, or at least not to G-Dragon. Lies. But deep down Mina couldn’t help but hope it was true. “Daesung and I are friends.”

“Or that’s what you think. He loves you and neither of you have accepted that yet, this will ruin him, fans will turn against him. It’s better for us all if you just leave.” G-Dragon snaps.

G-Dragon couldn’t help but be slightly angry with the small Asian girl, she was completely unaware to the feelings she spiked inside his brother, the way she could bend him at any whim or command she desired. Korean men had a high level of respect for woman, Daesung was raised that way, to respect women and to love them.

Kwon G-Dragon couldn’t wrap his head around how Daesung and this girl had continued in this ‘friendship’ over text for a year, and then Kwon realises why Daesung was so distant during that period. He missed her and their texting only made him miss her more. Kwon never believed in love at first sight, but after now he wasn’t too sure what he believed in.

Daesung held more respect for Mina than he’d seen him treat other girlfriends, the look in his eyes and the care in his touch. He loved her and it went far deeper than the heart.

“And besides, BigBang doesn’t need another scandal.” G-Dragon looks angered from the memories of whatever might have been a scandal. Seungri’s photo scandal, Daesung’s accident, G-Dragons ‘after-party’ incident... They’d held strong as a unit through it all, Mina didn’t want to be the final straw.

“We wouldn’t cause a scandal. Don’t you want Daesung to feel happy?” she asks, because they’d both be miserable without each other. A nearly two year friendship couldn’t be broken so easy.

G-Dragon comes closer to Mina, up in her face and space. “You look no older than a day over 16, and you’re telling me that won’t cause a scandal? No matter what age you really are, fans will be talking and our producers would be furious because of it. Daesung’s a 25 year old man,” GD furiously explodes.

Mina couldn’t take it anymore, she wanted to see Daesung, and she knew he’d help her. “Where’s Daesung?” she sniffs.

G-Dragon replies swiftly, “He should be back soon; he’s out with the manager to ‘experience London’. But it’s funny how he wants to experience London now when he done the exact thing when he was here with you.”

“How did you-,” G-Dragon cuts off her question.

“You guys sure do take a lot of photos,” G-Dragon snorts as he holds up Daesung’s phone which displayed a photo of Mina and Daesung in front of a London landmark. Something Daesung had never done and Mina hadn’t done in a long time.

Mina didn’t even bother shouting at G-Dragon, she just upped and left without anything more than a small cry of internal pain, mental not physical.

Sprinting down the stairs instead of waiting for an elevator, she barely had time to think as she crossed the grand lobby.

Daesung was the only thing on her mind, the way she’d immediately cheer her up – smile, face, laugh, personality. He was beautiful throughout, a 3D model of perfection. Mina was eternally thankful to have him.

Would this be the end to Daesung’s involvement in BigBang? Mina couldn’t see him ditching her so easily, even though it’d be for the best. Mina felt selfish, this was more than just a simple story of two friends, and even though Mina hoped that title of ‘friend’ would change to ‘couple’, it was still no simple story.

Across the road she sees him, he with his bodyguard and Seungri at the traffic lights.

“Daesung!” She shouts out, immediately he looks up and spots her running form.

Looking left and right only briefly, she sees cars in the distance, far enough that she could make it. as she runs across the road, she stupidly forgot about the other lane and as she’s nearly by the other side, the glare of sunlight off the car window blinds her and as the car impacts her body she feels numb. Adrenaline, perhaps, but the shouting, the actions around her isn’t registering inside her head and instead it’s a blur of black and only black, a buzz of static.

And now her mind is on nothing as she finally fades into a hopeless black.

***

Waking up, dozy and a little disoriented, Daesung couldn’t recall where he was, he didn’t know why he was here or who these people are.

“Oh, good, you’re awake.” A woman in a nurses uniform and distinct Londoner accent greets him..

Daesung tries to speak but it comes out as rough groans. “Where am I?”

She gives him a pitiful smile. “We had to sedate you, you weren’t co-operating. Trying to get into surgery to see Mina.”

Then Daesung remembers. Walking back from a day out with Seungri, Mina shouting his name and then sprinting across the road. She hadn’t saw the car, hit like a skittle. Daesung’s toes curl as he rises. “How is she?” Presuming the worst but hoping the best.

Like a bag of ice had been placed on his back, shivers race up his spine. He can feel his pulse in the back of his neck as his adrenaline increases.

“She’s still in surgery, sir, please sit,” the nurse hurries to explain, perhaps afraid that Daesung would have to be restrained again.

Daesung cautiously sits, but he can’t keep still. Leg twitching, he asks, “What does she need surgery for?”

“She has severe internal bleeding, a gash to the head that will require stitches and it appears she’s torn some internal organs.” Daesung repeats it over and over, a tape on repeat. He can still remember the car hitting her, her body tumbling over the bonnet of the car. Daesung can almost feel the pain.

Daesung palms his forehead as if it pains him, and it does. “She should be fine, though, unless any issues arise,” the nurse explains.

There are people all around skidding up and down the corridor, trying to get from A to B. Daesung wondered if any of them were here to help Mina?

“Em, Julie?” A small petite woman appears from around the corner and looks a little out of breath and concerned. “We need your help in surgery,” she tries to whisper.

“Oh shoot!” The woman who was talking to me scolds herself and immediately straightens up. “I’m sorry Kang, but I have to leave you now. I’ll be back out to explain some more soon.” Then she’s gone.

But Daesung can’t help but worry, Mina had been in there for at least an hour. Something was wrong, of course something was wrong.

Did surgery usually take a while?

Daesung had no idea what so ever.

Getting up briskly, he knows almost exactly where Mina is. He heads for the room he last remembered her being taken to. Looking around he sees no one who would be remotely concerned that he lingered by the door.

He could hear the voices shouting at each other, some of them stern and some concerned, but Daesung didn’t care how others felt as long as they were helping Mina.

Deep down inside at that moment specifically, he admitted to himself that he did truely love her. Because he’s miss touching her hair, he’s miss their texts from half the world away, he’d miss the innocent contact and other things they’d enjoyed. If only he’s admitted it sooner.

And it only taken a few years, Daesung thought. He’d always said to himself that if a fan ever did come along that he liked, he wouldn’t pass a chance to get her phone number. Mina was the first to ever come along that sparked such interest.

And he couldn’t lose her now.

Then suddenly all hell sets loose inside surgery, he can hear the panic in their voice. “Doctor, we’re losing her.”

Then his vision is set in a greyscale haze, binary reactions; moving or not moving, he’s on autopilot and then suddenly the doors are flung open. And it’s Daesung who’s opening them.

A sheet covers Mina’s body from view but from her shoulders and up, he can see her. Nurses notice him, try to restrain him, but as her heart monitor flat lines, he wonders why they aren’t helping her instead of restraining him. Why can’t he be here?

“Mina, please baby, wake up!” He screams in Korean, his panic so extreme he forgets to speak English.

He face is so delicate and pale, peaceful, but behind the sheet that covers her most likely naked body from view is another story. “There’s nothing more we can do,” the doctor says, as if he’s said it a million times before. An automatic response to something so tragic. He doesn’t care. He gets paid either way.

“Do Something!” Daesung screams as the three nurses push him back.

Seeing the sheet released and places over her body is enough. “Time of death: 4:48 PM.”

Scrambling from their hold, he stand over her and drops to his knees.

Death. She smelt like death with the irony smell of blood in the air and a general plague of cold. This isn’t Mina, not the Mina he wanted to remember.

Cold, pale, lifeless. “Don’t leave me, Mina, please.”

He hears people leave behind him, but people are still there, making sure the strange Korean man does nothing wrong.

“What’s your relation to Mina Chang, sir?”

Daesung strokes Mina’s cold cheek carefully while his tears drip down. He doesn’t have to think about his answer. “Girlfriend.” Or so he wished.

The girl, so small, 18 years old, a whole life ahead with a good job and family. She doesn’t deserve this, she shouldn’t be here lying on a hospital bed with the hum of electrical machines.

The days out in London seem like recent memories and to know he’ll never hear her voice – ear to ear or static filled – doesn’t help. Their conversations would be gone, she wouldn’t ever be there to listen about his stresses at the studio and he wouldn’t be there to comfort her now she has nothing to be comforted about.

The girl lying in front of him wasn’t his Mina, but simply the beautiful shell she inhabited. Somewhere above with god she’d be crying with him.

“Mina...” he hopelessly mumbles as tears soak his lips and tips of his hair. “I love you, Mina, I love you.” And he can’t believe he’d never told her that. Never got to kiss her lips or call her his official girlfriend – not matter what he’s told the nurse who currently leaned over his hunched shoulder keeping an eye.

He wondered if she suffered, but he didn’t want to ask in case he wouldn’t like the answer.

Rising to his feet, he has one last touch of Mina’s face and swipes the hair from her eye. “I love you, sweet.”

 

 

 

 

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