How Little Did They Know

This is a story about a young girls unhappy childhood with her abusive father and a difficult adolescent battle with anorexia.
In the beginning of the story we view Alice's personal childhood diary which details vivid commentary about the images she see's and the difficulties she finds in coping with her situation at home. This is where the reader see's the start of Alice's long battle with her eating disorder. As a child Alice does not know how to cope and she see's not eating as a way of 'punishing' herself for her fathers behaviour towards her mother.

The second part of the story is Alice's adolescent diary which details her own personal feelings and emotions towards her illness. We see Alice struggle through the burden she views as life, as we follow her painful journey towards a dark tunnel of which there appears to be no end.

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1. 1986 Alice's Childhood Diary Part One

14th January 1986

 

today is my berthday and I am 6 years old. I got a bunny with relly big ears and he is very cudly and fluffy. My nana came to see me two with my grandpa and he gave me some sweets becase it is my berthday. He sed to me arnt you getting to be a big girl and I sed yes. I wasnt allowed any of my frends over to my howse becase mummy sed daddy wudnt like it. daddy neva hugs mummy and I think she gets relly sad becase he neva hugs her but today she was smiling becase it is my berthday and I am her speshal little girl. I had a masive berthday cake with 6 candels on top and my nana sed I had to make a wish. I wanted to say it to evrybody becase it is my berthday but nana sed I had to say it in my hed. I wishd that daddy wud hug mummy and make her beter and she cud smile agen. I even gave mummy the bigest pice of my berthday cake but she sed I need it to grow big and strong and I sed like daddy and she sed yes just like daddy.

 

17th February 1986

I playd with all my toys aftr skool espeshally my bunny. In skool we are lerning times tabls and th techer sed I need more pracise and sed I shud tell mummy or daddy to help me with my times tabls. I sed that my mummy was alwaes sad and I dont think she likes times tabls and I dont think times tabls will make her happy. The techer sed I shud ask my daddy to help and I told my techer that my daddy was always werking and two busy to help with my times tabls. Wen I got bac to my howse I askd mummy to help with my times tabls but she sed she was cuking my diner and I shud ask later.

 

3rd April 1986

today my diner was not very nice. Daddy got home from werk late and I was full and I cudnt finish my diner. Daddy told me off becase I was full and he calld me ungratful and I dont no wot that word means but it made him mad that I was full. Mummy then sed to daddy to leve me alon that if I was full then I was full but daddy startd to be angry with mummy and that I am ungratful and I am just like my mummy neva apresheating nything. I was upset and mummy sed alice go to your room so I did to cuddl my bunny and now they are figting and its all my falt.

 

5th July 1986

wen I hav my diner at my howse I mak sur I finish all my food becase daddy gets mad if I dont. He sed I hav to appresheate wot he pays for and I dont no wot he is talking abot but he gets mad at me lots. He neva sed nything at my nana and grandpas howse wen I cudnt eat my diner but at my howse he is alwys saying I shud eat my diner and finsh it. I get sad lots now and cuddl my bunny lots becase mummy is two sad to help with my skool werk and Im two scard to talk to my daddy.

18th July 1986

I am hidin unda my covers becas I am two scard to go downsters. I cudnt eat my diner today and my daddy got really mad. He calld me an ungatful brat and sed he wishes I had neva been born. My mummy sed it doesn’t matter Alice but daddy sed it does. He hit me on my arm and now there is a red mark and it hurts me. My mummy showted at daddy fot hiting me and daddy showted bac at mummy he sed you are a bich and he smashed a plat agenst the wall. I was cryin so much and mummy sed alice go upsters so I did to cuddl my bunny. Now they are showting and mummy is cryin two and its all my falt agen as I mak mummy sad and daddy mad.

 

23rd  July 1986

 

I neva want to go to skool agen as childen are mean to me. They laff at me for bein two skiny and becas I dont no my tims tabls and I find skool hard. I dont want to eat nymore becase I will be like daddy but daddy is mean and I dont want to be like daddy. I want to cuddl my bunny all day and neva go bak two skool. Mummy crys all the time and it maks me cry I cant mak mummy more sad to ask for help with skoolwerk. The techer askd me is eveythin ok at home alice and I sed yes becase daddy will get more mad and hurt my mummy if I sed no. im scard of evrythin and I just want to cuddl my bunny foreva and for my mummy to be hapy.

 

 

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