New Moon Rising

Growing up in Dark Moon was a struggle for me not because i was only half werewolf but because i was also half witch. Everyone hated me, stayed away from me, or pitied me. It was something i didn't need. So when i got out i was happy. I promised myself i would never go back. I wouldn't let anyone else make me feel like i was less than trash anymore. My freedom didn't last as long as i hoped though

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14. If i'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn

 

Can't promise that things won't be broken
But I swear that I will never leave
Please stay forever with me 

Sleeping With Sirens- If i'm James Dean,You're Audrey Hepburn

 

The ride back to dark moon was silent and I was glad. Even more so when we pulled into the driveway of the pack house. I got out of the car and practically ran up to my room slamming the door behind me. I changed my clothes and climbed into bed. I wasn’t hungry but I knew I should eat something for the baby, the sandwich and cookies I had with Mrs. Langley weren’t enough. I just couldn’t muster the strength to go downstairs and be around a lot of people. I wanted to wallow in misery and cry the tears that were threatening to fall down my cheeks peacefully by myself. I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I wasn’t upset about having the baby in fact I was excited. I was excited about picking out a name for my child, picking out clothes for him or her, painting the room, and buying room decorations. I wasn’t happy I was going to have to do it alone. I wanted my child to have a family, a father in there life. I wanted my child to have what I didn’t. I can’t change the way things turned out but I can certainly make sure my baby feels loved no matter the circumstances. I sniffled as hot tears dropped on my thighs. This was really pathetic everything would turn out how it needed to, I just needed to focus on the child growing inside of me and unfortunately being alpha. As soon as I wiped away the fallen tears from my cheeks there was a knock at my door.

 

 

“Come in.”

 

 

Liam came in carrying a tray of food the scent assaulted my nose and had my stomach rumbling as I sat up in bed.

 

“Julianne told me you hadn’t really ate anything so I brought you something.”

 

He sat the tray on my lap instantly my mouth began to water. It was a bowl of clam chowder and two grilled cheese sandwiches cut at a diagonal. My favorite just the way I liked it. I picked up a part of one of the sandwiches and dunked it into the soup.

 

 

“Careful the soups-”

 

I took a bite out of the sandwich only to spit back onto my plate. The soup was piping hot and I was suffering from my tongue burning.

 

“Hot.” he said a bit of a smile playing at his lips.

 

 

“Bloody hell F.” I said fanning my tongue.” 

 

 

Yep I knew I burned some taste buds off. I slitted my eyes at a smirking Liam who had pulled my chair from my desk and now sat beside my bed. He quickly put on a stoic face but I knew he wanted to laugh. I stirred at my soup it needed to cool down fast. I picked up the piece of sandwich I spit from my mouth and ate it. Soup flavoring was on it and it tasted delicious. 

 

“Did you finish your work?” I asked Liam as I waited for the soup to cool.

 

“Yeah I told you it wouldn’t take long, but you were being impatient as always.”

 

“Yeah well I would have chickened out if I didn’t go at that moment, and nothing you could have said would have made me tell him or even go to daybreak territory for anything. So humph.”  I said picking up my grilled cheese slice and biting it.

 

“Well I’m glad you went then.  I wouldn’t want you to chicken out. So how did it go.”

 

“It went.” I said as if that explained everything.”

 

He was quiet I guess waiting for me to elaborate, but I wasn’t. I sat eating my food happy that my soup cooled down enough for me to dunk my grilled cheese in it. My mood had increased tenfold by the presence of  delicious food.

 

“That’s all? Just it went.”

 

“Yeah I told him, and that was it.” I said going back to eating once more.

 

“What did he say?”

 

“He didn’t say anything. I told him and then I left.” Not that I gave him much chance to, I thought to myself. “Besides he was giving me and attitude when I showed up anyway.  He knows I’m pregnant, he knows where I live. If he wants to be apart of our child’s life then he’ll be here if not well that sucks but it’s his lost.”

 

I wasn’t going to cry over spilled milk not anymore. I was going to be a single mother that meant I had to be strong for my child and by golly that’s what I was going to do. I finished my food but I kind of wanted more.

 

“Mmm would it be fat of me if I said I wanted more?” I asked looking up at Liam who had gone quiet.

 

“Are you saying you want more?” he asked grinning at me.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Good I think you should eat more to, you’re eating for two now. I’ll bring you a drink up here too.” he grabbed my tray and walked out of the room.

 

I laid back on my bed and waited for Liam to come back with my food. Julianne poked her head inside the door and I waved her in. She took the seat that Liam had been sitting in.

 

“Sorry about Liam he kind of attacked me when I came into house and started bombarding me with questions. Don’t worry though I didn’t tell him anything. I did tell him if he wanted to know what happened the he should ask you. So did he?”

 

“It’s cool thanks, it was good for me to eat something. Yeah he asked me.”

 

“What did you tell him?”

 

“I told him minus a few unimportant details.”

 

She gave me a knowing frown but didn’t say anything. My sentiments exactly it wasn’t worth remembering or getting upset for all over again. Liam came back in with more soup and another grilled cheese I smiled instantly. Julianne stood offering Liam her seat.

 

“Well I’ll talk to you later I need to shower.” she said leaving.

 

Liam was settled back into the chair staring at me intently, it was a bit unnerving. I grabbed the cup and drank from it. Raspberry lemonade yay! My favorite I nearly drank half of it before setting it down on the tray again. He was still giving me that look. I cleared my throat.

 

“Is there something on my face?”

 

“No you’re perfect. Umm Jocelyn you should know that even if james doesn’t come back I’ll help you take care of the baby. I’m sure julianne will too and so will the pack. I’m sure that james will come back though. You’re amazing, beautiful, and strong. Not matter what you think of yourself, I see it and so should you.”

 

“R-right thanks. So for now will you be my acting beta if it’s not too much and doesn’t conflict with your HOS duties?”

 

“Yeah I would love too, and don’t worry I can handle it.”

 

“Right ok thanks.” I said flashing him a smile.

 

“Ok. Well I’m going to let you finish eating just call me when you finish eating and I’ll take your tray back down.” 

 

He stood bent down, kissed my forehead and left the room. I pulled the tray in my lap minus the cup and pitcher of juice. I dipped the grilled cheese in my soup until I was finished with the sandwich, then I ate the soup itself. I poured myself another glass of juice and drank it. It was sort of late, I was sleepy but I knew I should take my tray and things to the kitchen. I didn’t need to bother Liam with something as trivial as that. I stood up and placed every thing on the tray before heading out of my room and down the steps. As my foot reached the last stair the door burst open revealing james. Making me loose balance of the tray, it fell to the floor with a clatter.

 

“Shit!”

 

"Fucking great," I muttered to myself . I bent over and began to pick up the pieces of the broken glass of my cup and right the juice pitcher that was spilling it’s contents onto the floor. I saw james' feet come into my view.

 

“Leave it I’ll clean it up just go sit down before you hurt yourself.”

 

“I’m perfectly capable of cleaning up this mess on my own thank you very much.” I said  emphasizing the on my own part hoping he would read between the lines.

 

Wordlessly he scooped me up and sat me on the couch in the living room. I watched as he started to clean up my mess. It was oddly familiar. I heard feet thundering down the stairs. Most likely Liam coming to scold me.

 

“Jocelyn I told you to-” he stopped talking probably seeing james instead of me startled him.

 

“I can clean that up.” Liam said.

“Its fine I’ve got it.”

 

Moments later Liam came into the living room giving me a knowing smile. Which I wanted to wipe right off his face.

 

“Told you so.”  was all he said before leaving me in the living room by myself once more.

 

Ten minutes went by before james came into the living room. He stood in the center not saying anything just staring at me. I did the same. Gah why… Why can’t he just stay away.

 

“Jocelyn-”

 

“No I don’t want you to be here. Why are you here?” I said pulling my knees up to my chest.

 

“Did you think you were just going to tell me you were having our child, that I wasn’t going to show up. Did you honestly think I was going to leave you to raise our child on your own. You can hardly take care of yourself. What kind a man do you take me for?”

 

I stared right into his eyes holding his gaze until he looked away.

 

“You don’t really want me to answer that.”

 

“What do you want from me Jocelyn. I want you god I want you so bad, I love you. I told you  that but you… you turned me down so many times.”

 

This was true but clearly I was right in my decision.

 

“I was right are you going to go screw someone every time you get angry with me. It’s obvious that’s what you were doing. Cause it’s really immature and I don’t want to have to deal with that. I just want to be over you and not have my heart feel like its being ripped out of my chest every time I look at you. I don’t want you to feel the need to take care of me like I’m a small child. I’m a grown ass woman james, I can fucking take care of myself. I was doing it before you even came to dark moon.” 

 

By now tears were streaming down my face and I was upset with myself for crying. So much for not crying anymore. James wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his lap.

 

“Let go of me I don’t want you touching me.” I said struggling to get out of his grip.

 

“No I’m not. Not anymore from now on I’m going to do everything in my power to make you understand that you belong with me. To me. You’re going to see how much I love you and know that no one can hold a flame to you. You’re mine whatever it takes.” he said holding me tighter against his chest.

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