New Moon Rising

Growing up in Dark Moon was a struggle for me not because i was only half werewolf but because i was also half witch. Everyone hated me, stayed away from me, or pitied me. It was something i didn't need. So when i got out i was happy. I promised myself i would never go back. I wouldn't let anyone else make me feel like i was less than trash anymore. My freedom didn't last as long as i hoped though

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4. Denial is not just a river in Egypt

The thought of being in a car with James for more than three hours bothered me. Yet here I was with James driving back to dark moon. I had my headphones in trying to ignore the tension in the air, and it worked for about an hour. I could feel the tension in the air shift, I didn’t like it. It felt like he was trying to calm me down. I pulled and ear bud from my ear and turned to stare at the side of his face, he was sporting a five o’ clock shadow. He looked amazing. Focus this is not the time to be thinking that.

“Please stop don’t manipulate my emotions.”

When I was younger I noticed he would do that a lot to try and get me to see my fathers side of things. It worked for a while, but I got tired of always being the understanding one. When was it supposed to be someone else’s turn to understand me.

“Sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry just don’t do it again. You know I hate when you do it.”

He placed his hand on my thigh and rubbed little circles with his thumb, the familiar feeling of need rushed through me like a wildfire. I faced forward and tried to calm my heartbeat. His hand stilled on my thigh.

“You’re right I shouldn’t do it, but it makes talking with you about difficult things a whole lot easier. Some times you can be so stubborn which is what I love about you, but you have to try and see all sides of a situation and not just your own.”

“What’s so difficult that you have to go and manipulate my feelings?”

“Us.”

“James, there is no us. Yeah we occasionally have sex, consenting adults do that without emotion all the time though.”

He removed his hand from my thigh and placed it on the steering wheel. His knuckles were white from how hard he was gripping it. His jaw was clenched and there was a vein protruding from his forehead. This is why I always avoided this topic, he always got angry, he left, and I was left alone to feel like shit. Only this time he couldn’t leave we were stuck in the car for another hour. Being with him meant I had to come back to dark moon and that’s just something I couldn’t do.

“I love you and all you can say is we just casually have sex. After I joined your fathers pack and your father introduced us I knew I loved you. You took my breath away, you were hiding from me behind your hair, all I wanted to do was brush it out your face and kiss you. I know you felt the attraction and all you can say is there’s no emotion to what we have.” he said tersely.

“James I-.”

“Save it Jocelyn if there’s nothing between us, then there’s no need for us to continue this conversation.”

The ride to dark moon was quiet and the air was filled with James’ anger. I was left alone to repeat his word in my mind over and over again. He loved me, he actually loved me. I wished I wasn’t me sometimes, I wished I could be someone my father loved and wanted around like my mom. Instead of his pathetic reject daughter, maybe then I could admit to James how I really felt. We could be together and I would be like the girls on TV coquettish with a warm smile and loving eyes. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I cried silently.

“We’re here.” he said gruffly.

The pack house was just as magnificent as it always was. It was built in a Greek revival style with its large, imposing, thick white columns that flank the front entrance, and support the porch that spans the width of the house. I remember playing on it when I was a child my dad chasing me around, those were happier times. James didn’t hesitate to get out of the car, he walked to the back of the truck and gathered some of my bags. I followed suit and took the rest of my things. A looked up in time to see a tall leggy blonde wrap her arms around James’ neck and kiss him on the lips. I walked past and lingered only enough to leave a sarcastic comment to mask the hurt.

“You’re proving to me how much you meant about your feelings.”

I walked up the step and into the open door, I gave a small hello to the people who were in the house. I went to my old room not bothering with the small talk. Most of these people didn’t like me anyway or didn’t care enough to stick up for me. I dropped my bags on the floor and closed the door. My room was just as I remember it violet walls, my mahogany four poster bed, my nightstands on either side with matching lamps atop them. My desk under the window where I would often stare outside instead of getting work done. I kicked off my shoes and climbed in me bed laying on top of the floral purple and fray comforter set. I thought being in here by myself would help me forget about the car ride with James, but it only stirred up more memories about him. When he would find me crying in my bed, he’d hold me and run his finger through my hair and tell me everything would be okay. I wish he was here now to comfort me, to bad I’m the source of my own problems.

**************************************************************************

James wanted to kick himself. How could he be caught off guard by this lecherous woman whose lips were attached to his. It was Jocelyn’s fault that’s how, she had his mind all tangled up and in knots and trying to untangle them was giving him a headache.

“Aurora what are you doing?” he asked pushing the woman away roughly.

“Giving my man a kiss.”

“I’m not your man we are not together, get that through your little blonde head.” he said trying to walk around her.

He knew this was his fault every time he would leave Jocelyn’s after and argument he came back and fucked her. She knew what they had was nothing more than sex.

“James I’m tired of playing this game with you. Who is it you’re running to too fuck when you leave that bitches place? Its me, so you might as well forget about that half-breed and be with your own.”

“Don’t ever talk about her like that.” he said picking her up by the throat his grays gray eyes flashing with anger.

She squirmed trying to pry his fingers from her throat he released her. She crumpled to the ground gasping for breath.

“Get one thing straight if I see you look at her the wrong way you’ll have to deal with me.”

He walked in the house and up to Jocelyn room, he knocked on the door but there was no answer. He walked in and saw her asleep on the bed. He dropped her bags next to the other ones in crawled into bed next her.. He undid the ponytail in her hair and ran his fingers through it, his other hand rubbed circles on her back. She snuggled into his side and he had to stifle a groan. He wanted to rip off her clothes and her screaming his name. He sighed and rubbed his hands down his face, he placed a kiss on her cheek and left her room. Maybe it was best if she stayed away from him… no it wasn’t and at least she knew his true feelings for her. She would come around she always did when it came to them.

The thought of being in a car with James for more than three hours bothered me. Yet here I was with James driving back to dark moon. I had my headphones in trying to ignore the tension in the air, and it worked for about an hour. I could feel the tension in the air shift, I didn’t like it. It felt like he was trying to calm me down. I pulled and ear bud from my ear and turned to stare at the side of his face, he was sporting a five o’ clock shadow. He looked amazing. Focus this is not the time to be thinking that.

“Please stop don’t manipulate my emotions.”

When I was younger I noticed he would do that a lot to try and get me to see my fathers side of things. It worked for a while, but I got tired of always being the understanding one. When was it supposed to be someone else’s turn to understand me.

“Sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry just don’t do it again. You know I hate when you do it.”

He placed his hand on my thigh and rubbed little circles with his thumb, the familiar feeling of need rushed through me like a wildfire. I faced forward and tried to calm my heartbeat. His hand stilled on my thigh.

“You’re right I shouldn’t do it, but it makes talking with you about difficult things a whole lot easier. Some times you can be so stubborn which is what I love about you, but you have to try and see all sides of a situation and not just your own.”

“What’s so difficult that you have to go and manipulate my feelings?”

“Us.”

“James, there is no us. Yeah we occasionally have sex, consenting adults do that without emotion all the time though.”

He removed his hand from my thigh and placed it on the steering wheel. His knuckles were white from how hard he was gripping it. His jaw was clenched and there was a vein protruding from his forehead. This is why I always avoided this topic, he always got angry, he left, and I was left alone to feel like shit. Only this time he couldn’t leave we were stuck in the car for another hour. Being with him meant I had to come back to dark moon and that’s just something I couldn’t do.

“I love you and all you can say is we just casually have sex. After I joined your fathers pack and your father introduced us I knew I loved you. You took my breath away, you were hiding from me behind your hair, all I wanted to do was brush it out your face and kiss you. I know you felt the attraction and all you can say is there’s no emotion to what we have.” he said tersely.

“James I-.”

“Save it Jocelyn if there’s nothing between us, then there’s no need for us to continue this conversation.”

The ride to dark moon was quiet and the air was filled with James’ anger. I was left alone to repeat his word in my mind over and over again. He loved me, he actually loved me. I wished I wasn’t me sometimes, I wished I could be someone my father loved and wanted around like my mom. Instead of his pathetic reject daughter, maybe then I could admit to James how I really felt. We could be together and I would be like the girls on TV coquettish with a warm smile and loving eyes. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I cried silently.

“We’re here.” he said gruffly.

The pack house was just as magnificent as it always was. It was built in a Greek revival style with its large, imposing, thick white columns that flank the front entrance, and support the porch that spans the width of the house. I remember playing on it when I was a child my dad chasing me around, those were happier times. James didn’t hesitate to get out of the car, he walked to the back of the truck and gathered some of my bags. I followed suit and took the rest of my things. A looked up in time to see a tall leggy blonde wrap her arms around James’ neck and kiss him on the lips. I walked past and lingered only enough to leave a sarcastic comment to mask the hurt.

“You’re proving to me how much you meant about your feelings.”

I walked up the step and into the open door, I gave a small hello to the people who were in the house. I went to my old room not bothering with the small talk. Most of these people didn’t like me anyway or didn’t care enough to stick up for me. I dropped my bags on the floor and closed the door. My room was just as I remember it violet walls, my mahogany four poster bed, my nightstands on either side with matching lamps atop them. My desk under the window where I would often stare outside instead of getting work done. I kicked off my shoes and climbed in me bed laying on top of the floral purple and fray comforter set. I thought being in here by myself would help me forget about the car ride with James, but it only stirred up more memories about him. When he would find me crying in my bed, he’d hold me and run his finger through my hair and tell me everything would be okay. I wish he was here now to comfort me, to bad I’m the source of my own problems.

**************************************************************************

James wanted to kick himself. How could he be caught off guard by this lecherous woman whose lips were attached to his. It was Jocelyn’s fault that’s how, she had his mind all tangled up and in knots and trying to untangle them was giving him a headache.

“Aurora what are you doing?” he asked pushing the woman away roughly.

“Giving my man a kiss.”

“I’m not your man we are not together, get that through your little blonde head.” he said trying to walk around her.

He knew this was his fault every time he would leave Jocelyn’s after and argument he came back and fucked her. She knew what they had was nothing more than sex.

“James I’m tired of playing this game with you. Who is it you’re running to too fuck when you leave that bitches place? Its me, so you might as well forget about that half-breed and be with your own.”

“Don’t ever talk about her like that.” he said picking her up by the throat his grays gray eyes flashing with anger.

She squirmed trying to pry his fingers from her throat he released her. She crumpled to the ground gasping for breath.

“Get one thing straight if I see you look at her the wrong way you’ll have to deal with me.”

He walked in the house and up to Jocelyn room, he knocked on the door but there was no answer. He walked in and saw her asleep on the bed. He dropped her bags next to the other ones in crawled into bed next her.. He undid the ponytail in her hair and ran his fingers through it, his other hand rubbed circles on her back. She snuggled into his side and he had to stifle a groan. He wanted to rip off her clothes and her screaming his name. He sighed and rubbed his hands down his face, he placed a kiss on her cheek and left her room. Maybe it was best if she stayed away from him… no it wasn’t and at least she knew his true feelings for her. She would come around she always did when it came to them.

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