Still Breathing

" I closed the book, and laid my head on my hands. How can it be, that I’m knowing of this world? Of Adrian? " - Rachael

It's easier just reading first chapter and decide if you like this story or not ;) And i'm sorry about the grammar(i'm working on it :)


20. Violet eyes

“So, this is where you’re hiding” she said, and appeared in front of us. Little sweat pearls appeared on her forehead. Possibly, because of the heat of the sun.

“What are you wearing?” Rachael started laughing, and I could see Jeremy frowning and looked irritated on her.

“I picked it-“ he started

“I could see that” she noticed “We aren’t in the middle-ages – Jere” I took a deep breath “I like it-“ I started, she stared at me, and then she smiled. “You don’t have to side with Jere-“ she noticed “Just because I pick on him ~ believe me, when I say he can take it. Besides that – I have to mock him with something, he’s way to perfect, it’s creepy” Jeremy started laughing and got up from the ground, took her hand and they started moving their feet, hips and hands. When she clapped high in the air with her hands, then he clapped low. They were dancing around in a circle after each other. Suddenly his hand went to her, and without looking she grabbed it and made a few turns before falling. He caught her mid-air and smiled brightly to her.

“It’s funny to see, without music” I noticed. Rachael, who was still in the air, only being hold up by Jeremy’s arm, smiled at me. “You don’t always need music, the dance is in the body”.

Then I laughed at her. “Yeah, you should know. I hear ‘I will never drink again’ so often, I suspect you’re an alcoholic”

She smiled at me, Jeremy got her up and they started doing the clapping thing again. “I can stop whenever I want” she noticed and Jeremy laughed. “What are you two doing?” A man was laughing while walking towards us.

“Nothing” Rachael said “and it’s wonderful- HEY! Wait a second, I’m so mad at you!” Suddenly she took a deep breath and stopped during a clapping session.

“Why may that be?” the man smiled at her, and I saw it. His eyes. Hair. They looked so alike.

“Can’t you relax a bit with the training sessions?” she asked “Silencia are acting all paranoid, and to be honest – you’re making it impossible for me to go to school! This can’t keep going on dad”. So I weren’t wrong, eh? As he stood now – All smiling and with the same little half-smile that Rachael always give me, I can picture him ‘evil’.

“You don’t need school anyway” he noticed “Home schooling like usual would be better for you, you know that-“

“No” she said, Jeremy threw himself in the grass besides me.

They started talking, but I couldn’t concentrate. Jeremy’s eyes were staring into mine. The black iris had a little crack in the one side, on the left eye. The right was cracked all around, like a window that had been hit by a ball – that just hadn’t starting falling yet. The color didn’t look normal. Around his iris it looked like a little blood-red gas-cloud had been released, I was stunned when I noticed the little cracks in his iris also were red like the gas-cloud. The rest of the color were violet like a flower. I’ve never seen any eyes like that. And I’m pretty sure I’ll never see a pair like that on anyone else. I’m curious. He’s a lighter – and a protector – but he doesn’t look normal. And on the one side he can’t be more than two years older than me, but at the same time, he hadn’t taking care of her since he was two. That’s impossible even for lighters. I want to ask. I stared into his eyes, and I wondered slightly why he was staring into my eyes. His eyes are wonderful, mine aren’t. I didn’t want to move my eyes, so I didn’t. I tried listening to the conversation between Ra and her dad. But at the same time I just want to save this moment in my memory. Badunk, badunk, badunk. Is it my heart I can hear in my ears? Bum, bum, bum. It’s racing like a horse in a horserace. Pushing to get faster. I tried taking a deep breath without making a noise with my nose, and opening my mouth. Mouth – my lips are dry. I want to let my tongue run over them like a wave, but in the end it will bring more pain than satisfaction. Suddenly my eyes focused at his eyelashes. Dark as oak in the moonshine from the waxing crescent moon. It’s said – in my country – that the moonshine from the waxing crescent moon is the only moonlight that calm us down. Everything else make us more aggressive. Wanting to discover more I tried looking at his hair. Dark as the night, short to the ears. I moved to his ears – a little small and resting tight to his body, hidden almost by his hair. I could see a little part of the earlobe missing – formed as a piece of cake from a trivia game, with the biggest end pointing out to the world.  I could see a part of a black mark on his neck – a tattoo? I wonder of what~

And the t-shirt he was wearing was black, with a weird sign on its left upper corner. What does that mean? When I stared at it for a while I noticed it wasn’t a sign, it’s a little drawing. I couldn’t see it near enough – and his shirt was too wrinkly to let me see. I saw his arms. With scars – most of them faded long away, but a bite-mark looked fresh as was it made a moment ago.

His fingers are long, and nicely cut and clean. His pants were brown – and suddenly I figured out why she made fun of his fashion sense. But still – it doesn’t matter, does it? His shoes was weird – not shoes like I have seen before. They looked like they were made out of hay straws and glue. A little mark was made on the side of the corner, and I wonder if that were standard lighter shoes… I looked around, and saw her dads shoes – they looked like they were made in the same material, but not the same way. A little bit higher, and raised around his feet.

I moved to Rachael’s feet – to my surprise, she weren’t wearing any shoes or socks.

I looked back at Jeremy, and looked into his eyes again. Still more beautiful than anyone else’s eyes.

“I have made a little training session for you and this time you aren’t meant to kill the enemies” I heard her dad say, only because Jeremy looked at him now.

I bit my lip and looked at her dad again. Training session? Kill the enemies? Sounds lighter-like. If there weren’t a ‘aren’t meant to’ before it, I might have thought it were any other lighter speaking. Rachael aren’t like other Lighters. I wonder why…

“Who am I training with?” she asked smilingly, is this like playing for her right now? Suddenly Jeremy started laughing and I stared at him.

“The vampires of this area” he noticed “The king heard you needed training partners and contacted me two days ago”

“How did he hear that?” she said “I hadn’t said to anyone I need a training partner – by the way, aren’t Jeremy my training partner?”

I glanced quick at Rachael and then at Jeremy, can’t Jeremy take her down easily? I know I can’t – but then again, she’s stronger and smarter than most in a battle.

“Of course – you two will always be training partners, but you know that different kind of training partners can help you expand your knowledge of fighting” Her dad said “They arrive in about four minute, so the sun will be gone – the purple light will appear” Then he walked away.

“Purple light?” I asked her. She smiled at me.

“Yeah, we can control the cycle in here – and color – so the sky will be purple. It will bring enough light for us to see them, and make sure that their eyes don’t hurt from the light”

I just nodded. I’ll see it soon enough. At first the light started to disappear from the sky – I wondered briefly where the sun were – and then when it was all dark, the sky started to lit up into a burning purple color.

Then a bunch of people was walking in. First I recognized her dad and a man talking. Behind them a line of 6 vampires were walking in a perfectly synced way. It looked a bit to perfect, so it creeped me a bit out.

Rachael was called over, and left us here.

“You’re taking it all well” he noticed “Most people – creatures from other worlds – can’t take all this in at once. Since they hate lighters their whole world turned around when they figure out we aren’t the bad once”. We aren’t the bad once.

So… the good lighters call the dark lighters dark, because they think they’re bad, even though they aren’t when you see them? And the good lighters make other creatures fear the dark lighters more, to make it look like what they are doing is good? I took a deep breath.

“I don’t hate lighters, so that doesn’t matter to me” I replied “Lighters never hurt my family, or my friends for that matter – Only a few has ever tried to kill me, and when they do, there’s always a lighter to protect me, or a way to escape”.

I could feel his eyes on me, when they started fighting in the dirt not far away. She was moving fast – and the vampire she was fighting was too. I could barely follow what they were doing.

“I guess She’s going to bring you over a lot – so we better give you some better shoes – follow me” he got up and walked away, I followed him. “Shouldn’t we tell her, we left?” I asked and looked behind me.

“I already did, besides that – she’s training, we shouldn’t interrupt just because of some shoes” I could follow his logic, he opened a door into the only messy place I have seen in this building. A stink of old broccoli stew and wax hit me the moment I came in, many lines of wire was going all the way up to the celling. The celling was approximated 6 meters up. On the lines at the top many different braids of hay were hanging while dripping down on us. I tried avoiding it, but after the seventh hit, I gave up. In the end of the room there was sitting a little chubby woman, she looked a hundred years old, but with the glow of life in her cheeks and a wrinkly – but still happy – smile.

“Hey, Mamoria, We need some shoes” he noticed, I wondered shortly why they didn’t just buy some shoes.

“Alright, sit down” I sat done on the only chair and tried not to look to much – what I thought were wrinkles appeared to be scars, all over her face.

“Jeremy, you have to remind the lady to come down to me” The lady? I looked confused at him, and he mimic with his mouth “Rachael”. The lady is Rachael. I wanted to laugh, in school – a few months back – she didn’t really appear to be special to anyone. Rachael have always been sweet to those who deserve it. She was sitting with some kind of boiling pot. When I glanced over the edge it looked like boiling rice in some kind of milky sauce. “I’ll put this on your feet” she noticed “Then I’ll remove it, and next time you visit me, you shoes will be done”

“It might hurt a bit” Jeremy noticed “It’s hot as hell” –she just laughed. I took both of my shoes and socks off. She took the left one first, and poured a big wooden spoonful over it. “Sit still” she said, I took hold on the chair and pressed harder and harder. She kept pouring, until my whole foot was covered, then she moved on to the next. It felt like it was pressing my foot harder and harder together. When I looked down on it, the rice-stuff was gone on the left one. Curious I looked at the right foot and waited to see it disappear. Slowly as the pain got worse, it disappeared a little by little. When it was all gone, she told me too move my feet and I did. Where my feet had been two perfectly sculptured replicas was now standing. You could see almost every little vain in my foot. No wonder it hurt like hell.

“That’s it” she said “You two can go now” We walked out and I stared after the door when we closed it.

“Don’t worry” he said “Her shoes are worth the pain”. I put on my socks and shoes and we started walking again – my feet was hurting like hell.

“What does that rice-thing do?” I asked smilingly, we were moving towards the garden again.

“It goes into your skin and copy it. She uses it to make a perfect shoe”.

We walked in silence. I wonder why he’s so nice to me – is it because I’m a friend of Rachael? Or because… it’s just how he is?

“I don’t know… what do you want to do now?” he asked “Would you like some clothes – that’s actually yours here – or do you want to go see Rachael fight?”

The thought of seeing Rachael fight didn’t sound so good – I hate seeing her hurt. “It would be good with some clothes” I replied. Then we change direction, instead of walking out to the garden – we were walking in a corridor with windows all the way around the garden – we went straight through a door, and a man was standing there.

“Just make him a few pair of clothes” He said “You got better fashion sense than me” He nodded and I had to stand up on a podium.


Rachael tells…

Even though I’m fighting, my mind keeps on going to Lucem. Why did they offer to be my training partners from the vampire-side? Lucem was standing and talking with Dad, I could hear every word. He had – obviously – not told dad anything about the contract, but why are he here?

We kept on training, until the night was ending – in the human world.

“Thank you for coming” dad said in plain English.

“It was my pleasure” Lucem answered. All the vampires behind him was standing smiling and talking with each other.

“Before you leave – why did you come?” I asked Lucem in their vampire language. They invented it years ago to make sure they could talk with each other without anyone understanding what they said.

“See it as a bonus of our contract” he noticed in same language “My job is to protect you from harm – and this will help you defend yourself from others”

I smiled at him. “You’re really protective-“ He just smiled at me, and I noticed dad looked confused, but at the same time happy – he can see I get along well with them.

“And like this” he noticed “It will look more… natural when I visit you to tell you about plans from the council”

I took a deep breath and smiled again “About that – I noticed you already have send some money, but I haven’t done anything yet. What’s the plan?” I asked. I was confused when I two days ago check my balance and discovered 1109,45 £ more than usual.

“Yeah, the money are for equipment you think you’ll need” he said “And also a part of the deal-“

“Yeah that I read, but I thought they would be transferred with the beginning of my next assignment”

“Buy what you need to do this” he said “As you know this is a giant step for us, the fact that you accepted was amazing. So let us celebrate it, and let us spoil you”

I have been spoiled almost all my life- but this money can be of good use, and I can’t give it back without insulting them. I just nodded. “And what’s my next step?”

He smiled at me. “Right at the moment, just prepare yourself. The council have send vampires out to every trusted corner to spread the word about a possible alliance with vampires – and other kingdoms. This is big news, and we hope someone will try to contact you sooner or later. When someone contact you, make sure it’s safe, and then make contact to me. Then I’ll bring you to the king and he’ll hear what they offer. And the rest will be told then” I nodded and smiled. Fine – so my job is getting ready to do my job. I have to find so many books about other creatures – their history and ways – so I guess I’m going to the black market.

“Thank you, for everything” I said “I hope you have a safe trip home-“

“Have a nice day” he said and then they all ran out of the world – and towards their own.

“What did you two talk about?” dad asked smilingly, I smiled at him, “My training style – I thought it would be easier for them, in their language”

Dad nodded and left, and I went to take a shower. After the shower, all of us went for dinner. Tyler was sitting in some new clothes and the food was all around us.

“I noticed you wrote in the calendar that you aren’t coming next weekend” Jeremy said “Why is that?”

“I’m just a little busy next weekend” she said “But I’ll come the weekend after that of course”

“Wouldn’t it just be easier if you moved in here?” Jeremy said. I know it would, but I can’t leave Silencia like that.

“It would be – but I’m sorry. I have a little sister, that I can’t just leave” Jeremy looked irritated, I know he’s no fan of Silencia. A young girl  - born by the woman that removed me from them, and have the father that was cheating with mom for years.

Dad didn’t mind, he just ate his dinner. Tyler just smiled down in the table, he know Silencia – as the only one a part from me.

He knows I can’t just leave her like that – and especially after all these monsters.

“I’m with Ra on this one” Tyler noticed “Silencia needs her big sister” Jeremy was looking at Tyler like he was a traitor and I just smiled a bit. Thank you Tyler.

“Never mind that” dad said “What are you doing this weekend?”

“I’m going to spend some time with some friends of mine-“

Tyler started laughing. “Who? I know your friends from middle school and you aren’t on good terms, Ray and George both have things to do this weekend, and the only one –else than me – that you’re friends with at school are Adrian”.

I could feel my cheeks getting warmer. Jeremy suddenly laughed. “Are you going out with that Lighter again?”.

“I’m not going out on a date with him – I’m just spending some time with him… with his family” I mumbled.

Both Jeremy and Tyler was laughing, I just tried not to kill the beef with my fork.

“So about your guestroom-“ Jeremy started.

“There’s no need” I noticed “My bed is big enough for the both of us-“

Both dad and Jeremy stared at me, like I had pronounced something wrong.

“Rachael – that sounded a bit wrong” Tyler noticed with red cheeks. I shrugged my shoulder. “It’s not like we’re going to do anything else than sleeping”

Jeremy was laughing silently on the other side of the table. I wanted to take a potato and throw at him.

“I’ll go to bed” Dad got up and left after kissing me on the head.

“Goodnight” I said.

He left, and I sat tired with my head on the right hand.

“Maybe you two should get some sleep” Jeremy noticed. “Before you leave tomorrow, please leave your school schedule”.

I stared at him for a moment, then he smiled. “I’ll make sure you don’t have to worry about creatures attacking while you’re in school”

“Thank you!” I said and then I got up. We went to bed, and I discovered I hadn’t been alone with him since he told me his story. As I got into my night-dress I took a deep breath. I feel so bad for him. How could his parents do that? Just like that?

His boyfriend… killed. I opened the door to my room again, Tyler was already lying in the bed, on the spot I usually lay in. I smiled at him.

“So…” Tyler said “You said earlier that everyone here… had a bad story behind them… does that include Jeremy?”

“Yeah” I answered.


Tyler tells…

“Yeah” she said. I bit my lip and wished for a second I knew what it was. I don’t want to seem too interested. Or can I ask?

“… What’s his story?” I slowly asked. She seemed busy with cleaning up around the bed.

“Well… long version short… After his change, the Lighters chased him and killed his girlfriend”

Change? Killed his girlfriend… I instantly felt bad for him.

“So he has no one?” I asked concerned. She smiled at me, when she got under the cover.

“Tyler, My dad, Granddad and me are his family, and his friends are the people running this place… he will always have someone”

“But he… never found another girlfriend?” I asked. I tried not to blush, but I did.

“No, not of what I know… but I haven’t seen him in many years, so it’s possible”

Then we slept. I was holding around her, with my face in her hair. She felt asleep faster than I have ever seen before, but I couldn’t sleep.

I noticed the door opened very silently, with a single eye looking in. A violet eye? Jeremy? I bit my lip and pretended to sleep. Perhaps he have to check on her. That couldn’t have been because I’m here.


When I woke up the bed was empty, and Rachael was sitting at the desk – reading or studying. I got up carefully, and I could see her yawn. She wasn’t reading, she was making a list.

“Get dressed” she said “Breakfast is done soon” I found the same clothes form yesterday and walked with her to breakfast. The food was delicious.

“Where’s dad?” She asked Jeremy. He was yawning, obviously been late up.

“Out checking where the intruder went” he said.

“Intruder?” I asked confused.

He sighed and nodded. “Someone spotted a person who shouldn’t be in the castle”

How can they know that? I tried not to look at him too much. We was wearing human-like clothes. Jeans and a V-necked T-shirt. Blue and Black.

“How did the person look like?” She asked.

“The only thing we know is long blond hair. Every room is getting searched through, but I’m sure the person already left” he noticed.

Why would they come here, to just go again?

It wouldn’t make much sense. “I’m quite happy you two are leaving soon” he noticed “We guess someone figured out who you are, so they’ll try to kill you”. I was staring at her. She seemed tired and didn’t really care much about the death threat.

“I’ll be fine in any matter” she noticed “People can’t surprise me so much”

I looked up and into his eyes. I’m so confused. Was he just teasing me yesterday – or did he mean it? Mean it? I’m not sure what I hope for. I reached out and grabbed a piece of bacon.

This is good. I need to be calm. I can’t freak out like that. It’s probably nothing.

“Laina, can’t you get me the eggs?” I heard her ask. Laina – I presume – walked down to the place where the eggs was laying and appeared a few seconds after besides Ra.

“What’s that in your hand?” Rachael weren’t talking about the eggs in the left hand, but the hidden object in the right hand. Laina shrugged her shoulders.

“Can I see it?” Rachael asked and laid out her hand.

“Yes” Laina said and then was about to smack the thing down in the palm. Rachael was fast and tore the hand down, got Laina locked in her position and took the object. She laid it on the table, and then she got Laina to stand up and put her head against hers.

“What just happened?” I asked Jeremy. He smiled to me, and I bit in my tongue.

“Well, Laina must be under some magical influence”

Laina sat down at the wall, while Rachael assured her that she hadn’t done anything wrong.

“What’s in the bottle?” Jeremy said.

She hold it up and took off the little wooden cork, before smelling it.

“It’s Dendré poison” she said. Dendré? I looked at Rachael for an explanation, but she was looking strangely interested in the bottle.

“Dendré poison” Jeremy said “Are a poison extracted from a plant called Thole, it’s called Dendré because the most effective way to insert in a body is by making a wound in the hand and forcing the Thole extract in. It can killed you if you’re not strong enough”

“Why is it called Dendré again?” I asked, and felt like a foul. He smiled at me. “Dendré is the lighter word for palm

“So Palm poison?” I said. He laughed and nodded.

Rachael sighed and mumbled something for herself.

“So are you afraid for your life now?” Jeremy said “You should be – I know you’re strong but that doesn’t mean you can’t get hurt”

“I’m not afraid, I just have to lay low for a while” she said “and don’t involve myself in any trouble”.

Jeremy smiled for himself, while I rubbed her back. I guess this are the trouble she’ll have to live with the rest of her life. Maybe forcing her away from it all was a good idea. I’m not taking side with her mom – but hasn’t she been safe all the time she didn’t have her memory? She didn’t get involved in trouble before… but then again if and when someone found her she would be in danger, and wouldn’t know how to defend herself.

“That’s going to be hard – little trouble maker” Jeremy said “I’m done eating, I’ll inform him of the little incident and Laina go to the hospital wing – you need to get some rest and a lot of it!”

They all walked away, except from Rachael, who was silently eating her food.

“Are you okay?” I asked “I know you aren’t fine with this-“

“I’ll be fine” she said “It’s not the first time someone tried to kill me”

I sighed. “I’m tired of this! Why can’t you just have a half normal life, where you can relax and don’t have to worry about these things!” She laughed while taking a piece of pie.

“That’s what I’m born into Tyler” she noticed “I have been hunted even before I was born”. I stared at her.

“Why don’t you go underground? Live without worry?”

She smiled at me. “I can’t do that. There’s so many people wanting something from me. I can’t leave them waiting in the cold forever”.

We sat in silence. She didn’t seem angry or sad about my outburst. Just… tired. Like she already had said that before. My eyes went to the door, where Jeremy walked out. It doesn’t wonder me if someone already did say that.

“Will you be alright?” I asked “In the end”

She got up and gave me a hug. “In the end I don’t know. Not yet. But I’ll tell you when I do”


Then we walked out to the hallway, I waited for Rachael. She was getting my clothes from her room. I could hear footsteps, I turned around to tell her she was slow and then I saw it. In his eyes – once again. With nobody in sight except from him, his arm extended towards me, pulling me to him, and his lips touched mine. I have missed this so much.


Rachael tells…

We walked out after Tyler had changed into his normal clothes, We parted ways after an half hour of walking in silence – I’m so tired, I don’t have any lust after talking.

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