Still Breathing

" I closed the book, and laid my head on my hands. How can it be, that I’m knowing of this world? Of Adrian? " - Rachael

It's easier just reading first chapter and decide if you like this story or not ;) And i'm sorry about the grammar(i'm working on it :)

Link to the next in the series: http://www.movellas.com/da/story/201401122252099906-holding-my-breath :D

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9. Missing a loved one

My head is dunking, where am i? I moved and felt something soft against my skin, rolling around I saw the gold colored sheet. I’m in a bed? I sat up and looked around. Yeah, I’m in a gigantic bed. I stared at my clothes, no longer the once I came in. Some kind of pajamas pants and a golden vest. I got out of the bed, and started walking around in the white room. It could be any persons room! I wonder why I’m here. What’s the last thing that happened? … RACHAEL! Where is she? I looked back in the bed only to see sheets. The door opened, a girl coming in with some clothes. “Get change, dinner will be served soon” then she closed the door. Huh? I looked at the clothes, nothing out of the normal. I changed, and waited at the door. What is going on here? Is Rachael okay?

The girl came in again. “Good you’re dressed! Follow me” she walked out, I looked at her, she isn’t wearing a knife, if I want to get free I should tackle her and change forms. “Where’s Rachael?” I asked the girl. She smiled at me. “Don’t worry, Rachael is fine, she is currently being treated for the vampire poison in her veins”. The girl is creepy, smiling like that is normal! Why am I still alive?

“Where am I?” I asked to be confirmed; I never left the castle did i? I guess the torture chambers are in another part of the castle than this.

“In the castle of Virdirta of course” she answered without looking at me “I’m Laina, while you’re here I’ll be taking care of you, and making sure you don’t get lost”.

Lost? How big is this castle anyway? If people need help going around, it aren’t so practical.

“Many people disappear in the castle, because they get lost” she noticed “Only a few people know all the rooms and hall ways. Of course the lords do” Lords? The dark lighters?

“Oh” I just answered. She opened a big door into a big dining room. I guessed at dining room since the table and chairs were placed like it’s a dining room. What do dark lighters eat? I’m not sure I trust getting something to eat from them.

I was the only one, Laina asked me to sit down, and said the others would come shortly.

Others? So I went from getting tortured by them, to becoming their guest? If I ever get out of this castle the explaining will be tough.

The two dark lighters got into the room and sat down. On the other side of the table was the elderly one, and on my left side, in the end of the table, was the young one.

“How is she now?” the old one said.

“She should be here in a minute” the young one responded.

I don’t like this, and where it’s going. Dark lighters kill for fun, how can this be any good?

“I see you have recovered fully” the elderly said to me “Laina is a fantastic healer”.

“May I ask why - I’m still alive?” I build up the courage to ask. I hate when people confuse me.

“I love direct people” the elderly said smilingly “But the reason is that you have something to do with Rachael, and making her hate us right now, aren’t the best move to do”

Making Rachael hate them? How can the death of me, making her hate them? I guess she already have reasons to. The door opened, I stared at first. Rachael’s skin looked a bit brown, but clean, her hair fresh and wet, and her cheeks a bit red. Her eyes clear and on guard. She moved forward in the bathrobe, making me a bit irritated. Couldn’t they have put on some clothes on her too?

“Hello, my light, come sit by me” the elderly said. She didn’t hesitate sitting right beside him. Somehow she looks different from usual?

“Feeling better?” the young one asked, she nodded.

Food started placing itself on the table.

“I have questions” she noticed and looked at them.

Both of them nodded, she looked at me for a second, staring me into the eyes. Her green eyes look sad and angry at the same time. Why is she angry? - Beside them almost killing us.

“Why” she started “Did you leave mom and me?”

I almost choked in my own spit. Mom and me. So the “hey dad” is true? The young one of the darkest lighters are her dad?

“I never left you” he answered “your mother dragged you out in the forest the night she had left a letter saying she would leave me” His hand did a quick snap and a letter emerged from thin air, he gave it to her. We all started eating while she read.

The food is delicious! From pig to cow; all kinds of meat on the table, followed by the most beautiful looking side dishes. I took a sip of the wine poured in my glass.

“Why can’t I remember being a Lighter?” her eyes looked at me for a second then she looked at her dad again.

He sighed “I’m not sure. I think your mother bound your powers and hid your memories. It can’t happen permanently; I guess she is drugging you with something constantly”

“Like sleeping pills?” she asked. That would make sense, her needing them all the time; it’s the perfect way to keep memories from her. But I’m not sure I trust the lighters at the table.

“That would work” he nodded “But after long time without them you should get back your memories”.

She started shaking her head. “Nothing come when I’m not taking them. I can’t sleep without them, so-“

Her dad nodded. “Eat something”. She took a piece of meat and started eating it without fork a knife.

“Why did mom leave you?”

He sighed “She had a lover behind my back. Had him for years before I found out, when I did I was furious, but willing to look past it, if she broke up with him”

I stared at Rachael looking stunned. I guess it’s a bit much to take in.

“I remember the second house” she said “After the first one burned down, where we held my third birthday”

Her dad nodded. “I can mix something up, giving you back your memories slowly. Something to strong could kill you”

She nodded. “What kind of lighter am I?”

Her dad smiled at her. “The strongest combination! You are half wind and half ferike lighter”.

We ate a bit in silence, all waiting for her next question. A wind/ferike lighter? I have heard that is the strongest combination there is. Giving them power over the wind and the mind.

“How can it be you never contacted Silencia or me?” Who is Silencia?

“I didn’t know where you were, even though I have searched a lot!” he suddenly looked stunned “Who is Silencia?”

“My little sister” she said stunned “Didn’t you know mom was pregnant when yo- she left?” She has a little sister? That means she is the light protector - not a light! That means she’s just like me, except the ‘My dad is the darkest lighter alive’ thing.

“I didn’t” he answered “How old is she?”

“Thirteen” she responded taking another sip of her cup.

“It’s not sure that’s my daughter, when you think of all the years Tricia spend with another man” he mumbled angrily for himself.

“I don’t care if Silencia is yours or not” Rachael said fast “She is still family to me”.

The elderly man laughed “Of course you grew up together”.

“But it would be nice to know, all we need is a blood sample” her dad noticed. She kicked the chair back, while getting on her feet. “You aren’t taking a blood sample from Silencia!”

“Why not?” her dad asked “It’s not like it would hurt her”

“Perhaps not physical, but I don’t think the thought of her not being someone’s daughter will help her emotionally”. She sat down, and started eating again, like the discussing was over, and nothing they can say or do will change that.

“Why-“ her dad started.

“I’m not going to tell her I met you” she said “I’m not going to tell her the both of you kill people daily. I had a clue growing up since our house suddenly burned down, but I’m not putting her through that”

Her dad and I suppose her granddad looked stunned, and stared a moment at her, while she took another sip of wine.

“You look like your mother, but sound like you father” her granddad laughed “It’s amazing!”

Her face said something different, but she didn’t comment.

“When can I go home?” she suddenly asked “Mom must be scared to death” They stared at her, but her father suddenly smiled. “Tomorrow morning, I think a night of good rest would do you good. While you’re here you should look through the castle, I think you’ll like it with the little explore you were”

She blushed, and looked down in the food. I guess that’s personal for her.

“I’ll fix you something so you can sleep without the pills from your mother, and something to help you get your memory back, but before I do I should probably “ before he said anything else he made a sign with his hands towards her, making her stunned, looking at her hands and arms.

“I unbounded your powers, my light” he smiled at her “You’re a fast learner, I’m sure you’ll remember everything I taught you, and a bit more perhaps” suddenly he got up.

“I suggested you two enjoy the castle, I have work to do”

He left after kissing her on the hair, the granddad left same way. She stared down in the food still on the table.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, and looked any other direction than me.

“Fine, a bit confuse, and… angry” I took a deep breath “Since when is the most evil and darkest lighter your dad?”

She stood up. “Always”

“From when did you remember?”

She bit her lip “You remember when I hid my granddad, just before he took me?”

“FROM THERE?” I stared at her. I that why she hit him?

“Yeah, I thought he was dad, that was why I punched him-“ she blushed “It turned out it was granddad”

“What you said in the cell-“ I started, she looked down in the floor “Just… forget okay? Forget I ever said it”

I took another deep breath “If you knew so long, why didn’t you tell them? I’m sure they wouldn’t have hurt you then…”

She blushed “I didn’t want to remind them I was alive… I know it sounds stupid, but I don’t want to be a daughter anyone would forget just because they don’t see me. I wanted them to discover it for themselves” she said blushing. I got up and walked to her. “Look at me” I asked.

“Why?” she looked down in the floor, and at her hands.

“Because I want you to” I answered.

She laughed “Since when have I ever listened to you?”

I laughed “You survived, I guess that counts as once”.

She stared down into the ground.

 

Rachael tells…

How am I supposed to look into his eyes after this? Hey! My dad just tortured you, and almost killed me, no big deal! How can he possible like me after this? How can he still be so calm… so relaxed in this aura I’m giving out. Why won’t she look at me? I heard his voice and sighed. I know this feeling, the ferike powers are stepping in.

“I” I smiled down at my hands, I’ll be a mess for weeks to come. The sleep will fuck up my day; my powers will surely irritate me, making me more moody. I’ll have to protect Silencia from dad, so she doesn’t have a mentally breakdown, and I have to deal with Adrian knowing all of this.

“How can I possible look you in the eyes after this?” I started “I’m surely the last person you want to see right no-“ he pulled me into his arms, hugging me close. You can’t be more wrong Rachael, why can’t you see that? “You are the person I want to see the most right now” he whispered into my ear “Even though I’m sure we’ll have a fight later, right now, I’m just happy you’re alive”. I felt surprised and thankful at the same time. I guess it makes sense dad isolated me and mom from the rest of the world back then: No one to hunt him, no one to hate me. Now a lot of people will hate me, wishing me dead, or even trying to hurt me, to hurt dad. I don’t like this.

“I’m happy too” I mumbled into his shirt, a heard a cough and looked behind me. Laina was standing there, looking patient.

“I’m sorry, the lord requested me to take him back to the room, my lady” I hate the ‘my lady’ part. And the lord part too. How can people live with that? All their life?

“Give us five minutes; you can wait outside the door”.

“Sure, my lady” she walked outside the door, closing it loudly.

I his hands weren’t away from me.

“I have a request” he mumbled “is that alright?”

“It depends” I looked wondering at him. I hope she doesn’t say no, once more.

“What is it?” I asked after 30 seconds passing without anyone talking.

“Please don’t get hurt more today, I don’t think my blood pressure can take it”

I sighed and smiled at him “I’m in the house my dad own-“

“House?” he said laughing “This is a castle!”

I smiled at him “No matter what it is, I’m safer here than anywhere else. Believe it or not” I pushed him away from me, and smiled gently to him. “Besides that, I’ll go to the study; you’ll need to get back to your room”

He nodded and walked out the door, leaving me staring into the food on the table. The dreams are true, the nightmares I had. I wonder what happened with our last house? Did he burn it, or perhaps still owns it? I loved being there, even though we only lived there a half year.

Perhaps I should get back to my room and take on some clothes, so I can look around a bit.

I walked slowly back to my room, passing several people, I could feel their stare in my back. I guess a girl walking in a bathrobe along the halls of Virdirta isn’t normal. I stared around my room. The walls are impossible to see just for books, the ceiling painted with beautiful battles between the most beautiful creatures alive. The floor white with just a stripe of white carpet in a pattern, making a lovely change for the feet, while walking around. My bed up on a little scene with three steps to it, the ground floor having a desk and chair a bit to the left from the bed, another little scene, with all my paint stuff I loved as a child and another scene with a piano. I walked to it and started playing. My mind can’t remember the tunes, the keys, the notes, but my finger knows.

“Larissa in the Hirakta got five children, the girl of Wind, which name is long forgotten. The boy of earth, stronger than a Riramyth. The boy of water, beautiful like a flower. The girl of fire, temper like a flame. The Natrona, otherwise known as the ferike” I started. I know there are more to the song, but my mind can’t remember more. The tunes are wonderful.

How would it have been, being with dad and not mom? A picture of Silencia flew into my mind. Silencia aren’t dads daughter, I know that. There’s no doubt. Looks nothing like him, aren’t like him either. I walked to the closet: the only other door in the room. I stared at the dresses, the tiaras, and the jewelry. I guess dad had his ways of holding onto the hope. Picturing me here, choosing, wondering, what I should take on.

I chose something randomly - a dress, some shoes and something to keep my hair together. I walked out into the big hall, looking up at the painting of us, me a little baby.

Why couldn’t we stay happy? I don’t get why things have to change.

“I see you found the closet” dad voice sounded behind me. I nodded “Yeah” I could feel the tears rising in my eyes. I won’t cry!

“I’m sorry, sweetie, I should have seen through your mothers plans, I should have focused more about our relationship. That way none of this would have happe-“damnit too late! I could feel the tears running down my face, falling to the floor. I turned around and hugged him. “It’s alright dad” I mumbled into him, I felt his warm arms on me. I could feel him laugh.

“Sorry I’m laughing, I just thought you still were mad at me-“he looked down at me, I didn’t want to let go.

“I am” I answered “I’m just so happy to see you again, you have no idea how much I have missed you, waiting for you to come home, and tell me everything would be alright-” my voice couldn’t take anymore, my tears are making his jacket wet, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“It is now” he whispered “You can come when you want to; I have designed the room especially for you, so you can stay whenever you want. I even left a desk so you could play with your magic”.

I nodded, and enjoyed him hugging me.

 

Adrian tells…

 

Laina didn’t say a thing all the way back, and when we got to my room, she just told me to go in, and then closed the door. There aren’t much to do, I walked out to a balcony, and looked around at the garden. It’s so beautiful! How can it be they have all of this? The garden had a lot of white, yellow, purple, and pink flowers in all kinds of shapes and formations. The grass is so green! How do they keep it that way?

I stared when I saw the girl. Brown hair, bounded in a ponytail with a silk ribbon in the color white, herself wearing a beautiful dress in white and gold, high heels in golden color, and with a bracelet on. Her back was turned to me, leaving me her back and but, that looks good too, but I would like to see her face just once. A horse was brought to her; she jumped up with her legs to the left. I wonder how she keeps the balance on the horse? She made a turn with it and I almost yelled at her. Rachael? IS THAT RACHAEL? The dress showing her curves? The silk ribbon in her hair? The bracelet in gold? The high heels? “I would never ever kiss a little girl like you! I have had ladies, real women in my bed, women you will never reach”. My own words, said with my own mouth. I’ll have to take that back. She looks like a princess! “I guess my princess could fall into their hands” the guy that helped me, the one that said she kissed him, and keeps calling her his princess. How did he see that, before me? Seeing her true colors?

“Excuse me” Laina came out to me “My lady have asked for you to go to her chambers, she’ll like to talk to you, once more”. My lady? I looked down after Rachael, she aren’t there anymore! How did she do that?

“Sure” I followed Laina again. I need to prepare myself; I can’t have my mouth opened wide when I see her. It would not only be rude, but also humiliating for me.

I stared at the room I came into. A floor and several small pairs of stairs to different things in her room. Not a wall seemed to be visible, only books and other stuff.

“You can leave Laina” a voice said, I looked after Rachael, seeing her at a desk in the other side of the room.

“Yes, my lady” she walked out and closed the door.

Seeing her close is worse than on a distant, why is she so beautiful? It shouldn’t be legal.

“Did I interrupt you in something?” she asked and blushed “I’m sorry if that’s the case, I know the staff can be a bit ru-“

“No, no. Was it fun riding the horse by the way?” she stared at me, with her mouth opened. She stopped a second after.

“I- how did you know that?!” she placed a book on the desk, I walked towards her slowly. “I guessed”

“No, you didn’t” she gave me a look that could kill “You have a balcony, don’t you?”

I laughed “Yeah, I do”

She looked into the ceiling, laughing a bit, before moving towards some more books near a piano (? She can play?)

“What do you want to talk about?” I asked, and tried not staring at her curves - and some other parts.

“It would be best for both of us, if no one knows where we have been. Of course your family should know, they can guess it, since I’m alive, but what I wanted to ask of you is to… not tell other lighters” she didn’t look at me, only at the books. “I won’t survive very long as the daughter of the darkest lighter, if everyone knows. I can’t defend myself right now, which means-“

“I was right” I smiled at her “You do need me, to protect you” she blushed instant looking me into the eyes. Thank you! Finally!

“Idiot, that wasn’t what I meant, I meant shut up! Don’t tell anyone” she moved to the desk with the books, she couldn’t keep all of them in her hands, and some started to fall around her.

“I’ll help you” I collected the once who fell, and when she moved to the books on the shelf again, I carried them for her.

“So you want me to keep it a secret that I survived a meeting with the evil guys?” I stared at her.

“You didn’t exactly survive because you are a super lighter you know; you only survived because dad is smart enough not to kill any of my friends”

I laid the books on the floor and backed her up against one of the columns of books, she was blushing. “Is that all I am to you?” I asked whisperingly into her ear. That is not all you are to me, you are not like family, friends or even an enemy - even though I think that would be easier - you are important to me, more than other people. Why don’t you get that?

“I don’t trust people Adrian” she said slowly, it sounded like she was in pain “I never have. Jenny threw you in my face to force me to get a friend more, my mom knows it and don’t bring people home. She never introduces me to her friends, I have two friends, and that’s you and Tyler. And the only reason I’m friends with Tyler is because he never gave up, he kept fighting to become my friend”.

This is getting irritating. “Do you think of me, like you think of Tyler?” I asked, my tone was wrong, I sounded angry again. She sighed. “Of course not” suddenly she smiled “Tyler and I are friends, you my friend are a pain in the ass half of the time, driving me mad, while keeping me alive” Suddenly she pushed me back, and fell to the floor with a smile. “I’m sorry if you feel like I mess with you, it’s not on purpose, I hope you get that. But! You are driving me slowly mad and insane, pushing my limits all the tim-“

“Says the ‘I kiss all the strangers I meet!’-girl” I bit my tongue, she stared at me. “What are you taking about?”

“Goldilocks!” I yelled at her, “The guy you randomly kissed!”

She blushed and got on her feet. “WHY do YOU know of that?”

“So it did happen?!” I felt like punching the wall, but it’s a little hard to reach.

She suddenly smiled. “What do you think I am? Your little pet? I’M ALLOWED TO KISS WHOEVER I WANT!” she yelled at me, “Besides that the kiss with him, was so much better than the one I had with you” she said it scornful, I got enough and pulled her into my arms. First she tried pushing me away, I held her carefully, and kissed her then. I could feel something in the kiss - somehow she was now pushing me backwards towards a column of shelves. She held me there during the rest of the kiss, making me feel fantastic. She can’t deny that! The kiss stopped and she looked up at me, her cheeks turning red. I started laughing. “No you can’t say that anymore!”

Her face suddenly looked down at the ground, and then I felt her fist in my stomach.

“YOU DID THAT BECAUSE YOU THINK HE’S BETTER THAN YOU?” she walked away, towards the books on the desk “I can’t believe you” I heard her mumble.

I stood bend over, holding on my stomach. I hate punches in the stomach, hurts like hell. I guess we were right: we fight every day, nothing can help it. “And you are saying I’m driving you mad?” I guess I deserved that one.

“Go back to your room, I’m done talking to you” she said angrily “My powers just activated, I don’t want to ruin the room”. I walked angrily towards the door, and asked Laina to take me to my room.

 

Rachael tells…

Idiot! I hit the desk hard making my hand bleed once again. I shouldn’t yell so much, it’s not good for my blood pressure. I stared at the place we stood kissing; it’s a pain hearing his thoughts. The thought of me being an enemy would make it easier for him. How does he know of the guy I kissed? My finger touched my lips. I can’t deny the kiss felt mind blowing, but that shouldn’t make me go crazy. One of us needs to think of the best of both of us. He obviously can’t. He can protect me and himself, but not on the same time.

“My light, I have brought the sleeping potion and-“ he stared at my hand. “What happened?” he walked towards me, leaving the glass on my desk.

“Nothing I just… hit the desk” I blushed. That’s going to be hard to explain.

He smiled at me. “Everything okay?”

I nodded, it’s fine. I just have a bit of temper around him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“It’s hard to explain dad, right now I just want to sleep” I yawned, when I woke up half the day was gone, and now it’s night. I need my sleep.

“Let me heal that first” his hand moved over mine, healing it at once.

“Thank you” I smiled at him, he smiled back. “This is just for tonight, it will only give you sleep. The real thing I’ll give you tomorrow to make your memories come back”

I nodded and took the glass from his hands; I got up to the bed.

“Night, dad”

“Good night my light” he left, the room got dark and I drank the potion, making me fall instant asleep.

 

Adrian tells…

I laid myself on the bed, and fell asleep instant.

 

Laina woke me up, telling me to go shower. Faster than I thought possible I was at the table, with the most delicious breakfast meals I have ever seen. Pancakes, bacon, desserts, fruits. But the most beautiful sight was Rachael arriving in the morning. Yawning, not really dressed in other than a pajamas, with her hair all messy.

“You got up late” her dad laughed “I guessed you slept well” she didn’t answer but responded with a happy mine and a pleased sound, before taking some breakfast. We ate in silence, until her dad laid a present (packed like one) on the table, making every one of us go silent.

“I have a little late fourth year birthday present for you” he announced “Here!” she took it and unpacked it yawning. I stared when I recognized its symbols.  Lithium zeta! The ring!

“I guess you need it more than I do” he smiled at her “We have one more lithium in the family, but that is kind of stuck to your granddads arm” The snake? Lithium Iota? I did what I could not to make any sound at all regarding the lithium. In our family we are with the king, being the possessor of the lithium things make you with the Lithium.

“You probably can’t remember the story-“he started, she looked shocked at the ring. “I read it in one of my books, I wasn’t sure it was real” None of the lighters are! No, I am now!

“Will you carry it?” her dad asked, she nodded without hesitation. She took the ring on, and smiled at her dad. “Thank you”

“You’re welcome” he answered smilingly and the meal continued in silence.

“Go get dressed dear, when you get back I’ll send you and your friend home” he smiled at her, making her get up and run up to her room. They left, leaving me sitting in silence awkwardly. I miss home, I miss mom, Quinn, even Crish! I stared at the sight that came through the doors. Rachael? Mascara around her beautiful green eyes, a dress short to her knees, with a lot of little crowns on it, in her hair another ribbon, this time in a little bow. I smiled at her, making her stare.

“I’m still angry at you” she noticed “I don’t care how much you smile”

“With you looking like that, I can’t help smiling” she suddenly blushed “Do I look that stupid?”

You still don’t get a thing!

I got up, and smiled to her. “No, I mean you look beautiful” She got more red, and I could see she wanted to punch me for that. I guess she is not use to compliments? Whatever, right now I just want to go home, and see my family, telling them I’m alright, and then sleep in my bed, where there aren’t silk sheets. Her dad came and gave her a backpack with stuff she would need after meeting him, I heard metal against metal - so weapons?

“You can come any time you want to” he said to her “Whenever, no matter what” she nodded and we walked out the portal, and into the little forest of the human world. The silence kept being there, even though we no longer were with them.

“I was wondering if…” she looked at me “I could go home to you and change into the dress there, so I don’t give my mom a heart attack?”

I nodded. Of course, my home is always open for her.

“Thank you” she mumbled. In silence we walked the rest of the way home. Quinn almost tackled me when I got in the door, mom yelled at me, and Crish just stared at me.

“Where have you been? I was so worried!” Mom kept saying “I’m fine”

“Rachael!” Quinn hugged her too, making Rachael smile big.

“I love your clothes! It’s the same kind of clothes we have in Amalion!” Quinn kept talking, I didn’t listen.

“How can it be you are alive?” mom asked shocked by seeing her “You was taking by-“

“Alright brother, I must say” Crish punched my shoulder “Nice work!”

“I didn’t do a thing, I actually failed pretty much” Rachael started to laugh. “Yeah you did, getting captured like that”.

“Captured? Tell me everything!” Rachael that didn’t wanted to, led me into the place of story teller, trying to make mom and Crish understand. Rachael didn’t say a work while I told: I just told of me finding the castle, getting inside, and then getting captured. Hearing the screams of Rachael - who now was looking at the ground, I guess the pain was a bit too much for her - telling about her being rescued last second by her dad, and making me know she had him as a dad. I didn’t tell of the awesome looking castle, of the ring giving to Rachael, of her mother leaving her dad, of Silencia being now in danger, I told of me and Rachael being cared for and them sending us to our home world. Mom suddenly hugged Rachael. “It must be so hard for you to see your dad after all that time” I heard her whisper, Crish just stared at me, then Rachael, then me again, doing that a couple of times. Dad got home and Mom dragged him out in the kitchen and told him the story again. Rachael changed in the bathroom and said to me she wanted to go home before dark, and relaxing with her little sister, before it all goes to hell. I couldn’t blame her; I walked her to the door, and let her go home by herself. 

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