Still Breathing

" I closed the book, and laid my head on my hands. How can it be, that I’m knowing of this world? Of Adrian? " - Rachael

It's easier just reading first chapter and decide if you like this story or not ;) And i'm sorry about the grammar(i'm working on it :)

Link to the next in the series: :D


11. Lost in safe arms

“Why don’t you want any friends?” I asked her. Everyone was in their training clothes. I almost didn’t bring them! I’m lucky I didn’t have time to remove them from my backpack this morning. On the back of the school there’re some big (3 meters in diameters) circles of dirt, people’s footprints, marks after hands and other signs of people, was clear in the dirt.

“That doesn’t concern you” she said. The first lighter I ever met told me that a lot. When I asked the lighter why, he answered “That’s the first thing we learn. Other creatures aren’t allowed in our affairs”. So I guess she is a lighter, it would make sense since she is so close to the teacher.

“I want everybody to fight, until their partner can’t take anymore” Jenny said out loud, making everybody stare at her. Many people from our class are in boy-girl teams. Just like me.

“I don’t want to beat you up” I told her.

“Forget my gender for a few minutes” she suggested, and started going down in her knees. I guess as a lighter she is used to fighting. I’m stronger than most lighters - I must be stronger than her too.

“Okay, but you asked for it” I answered. I ran towards her and tossed her up in the air, making her stair down at me, I caught her like I was a dad tossing a child a bit up in the air, and pushed her to my left side of the ring.

She was standing there looking surprised but then smiled suddenly. “Is that all you can do?” she suddenly asked.

I bended down and started to run towards her. I saw her disappearing from my line of sight, making me look for her. When I saw her I bumped into her, making her fall. I stared when blood started to come out her nose, while she laid on the ground. “I’m so sorry” I started and wanted to help her up. I guess she is human, no lighter would lose to me that big.

“Don’t be” I heard her say, before everything went too fast. I only felt touches around my body; my legs got touched, my head, my shoulders, and at last my neck. Her boot was on my neck, pressing it down. I stared when a drip of her blood dripped down on my shirt. I guess she was holding back before.

“Sorry” she said “But I never hit first” She helped me up.

“Rachael, get that nose fixed!” Jenny was yelling at us.

“Sure” she mumbled, we walked into the school, and found the nurses office.

“I’m sorry about your nose” I mumbled and found some paper.

“It’s alright” she answered smilingly. Don’t want to have friends, but loves to fight. That’s a lighter right there, right?

“What kind of lighter are you?” I asked, before I could stop myself, she stared at me for a second.

“Sorry I don’t smoke” she answered and jumped off the chair to take the paper to the trash. What? Huh? What is she talking about? She fixed herself, while I stood staring in the room. Maybe she miss heard me?

“Did you hear me?” I asked confused.

“Didn’t you ask something about a lighter? I don’t smoke, so I don’t carry one” she answered without looking at me. I was stunned. She is a human!?! But that fighting style- ?!?

“Forget I ever mentioned it” I mumbled and sat down. But she is together with the main teacher! Clearly a magical being!

“So” she turned around with a little smile “Tyler was the name right? Where do you live?”

I stared at her, with a finger pointing in the air, completely stunned.

“In an apartment” that was the best answer I could come up with. I’m so stupid!

“Do you live with your family?” she asked smilingly, and walked towards me. She stopped and sat down at the chair besides mine.

“Ye-“ I shouldn’t lie to her, not if I want to be her friend “No”

She just nodded “So you don’t live with your family?”

“No, I don’t”

She nodded, and looked down at her fingers. “So, do you live with anyone?”

“I have two roommates” I admitted. Both are the same as me, it’s awesome not to have to hide what you are, when you’re home.

“Nice” she smiled at me.

“What about you? You live with your family?” I guessed.

I stared at her, she was thinking, like she couldn’t remember.

“I live with my mom and my sister” she answered. Oh, no dad? Divorced? What happened? - It would explain her “I don’t need friends” attitude.

“Do you… have any family?” she asked cautiously, like she didn’t want to make me sad.

“I have, but they didn’t agree with my choice of life” I answered truly, and wished I could tell her the whole story: She doesn’t seem like someone that would laugh at it.

Her phone suddenly rang; she looked at the phone number and oddly chose not to answer it.

“Someone bothering you?” I asked, she blushed and started shaking her head. “No, it’s nothing”


Adrian tells…

Impossible! I lost sight of her! How is that possible? I have followed her so many times, and not once have that happened! I tried running the way to her home, but she weren’t there. Nobody was at home, I ran the way back to school, but didn’t meet her. I guess she remembers more than she admits, knowing how to lose a lighter - and an excellent one! - is rare. Very few people know how to do that! I bit my lip and started looking at windows at the shopping street. It’s moms birthday soon, but I doubt I’ll be giving her a present from this street!

I looked at a lingerie-store. I wonder if the male humans that works there ever get thrown out because they stare too much? I can see a male-help-doodle-thing staring at a girl trying out some underwear. The underwear looked a bit too naughty to be shown to a stranger - I guess she knows him better. Perhaps it’s her boyfriend? He is blushing so I doubt it. She went in again before I could take my eyes of the underwear, she came out in something red, this time I looked straight at her face and I almost fell back staring. RACHEAL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

What is she doing in there? I walked towards the door, but when I reached for the handle, my hand stopped. I can’t walk in there! Not with her in her underwear! She will know I was standing there looking at her! I bit my lip and walked to the next store and tried to see what they were selling, but I couldn’t concentrate, I keep seeing her in that black lingerie. She haven’t come out yet - mind over body, mind over body, mind over body. God damnit! I walked back and looked in, but only for a sec. She was paying for something, I quickly rushed away. If I see her coming out of there, and I don’t seem surprised, she will know that I saw her, making her want to kill me! I ran into a jewelry store looking at some necklaces. Perhaps I should just take home for today.


Rachael tells…

I’m so tired of this! I need a night out; people can say what they want. I need to enjoy these last moments of people not staring at me for being the darkest lighters daughter. When the words spread I’ll be like a neon sign. I better enjoy it right now! I walked into Dresseri, a good dress store. I picked a short black dress and got home. Until tonight I have time to sleep, relax, do my homework, eat what I want… I got down at the bed and sighed. Alright I’m bored. That was fast. I have to find some way to entertain myself until tonight-

My phone started ringing, I answered fast.


“Adrian, aren’t you at school?” I asked smilingly, I guess my body likes the thought of him being a good distance from me.

“No, I actually have to be somewhere until it’s over, can I swing by your house?”

“Sure” I hanged up in shock. WHAT?! “Rachael, what is wrong with you? How can you invite him over? Aren’t this your ‘Lighter free’ day? Do you want to get held back tonight?” I talked to myself, while hiding the clothes.

He knocked on the door, making me run out and open.

“Hey… come in” he walked in, and we stood awkwardly in silence in the kitchen.

“Well…” he suddenly smiled and said “I like your dad’s house better, it’s a lot bigger”

I laughed and pushed him to my room. “We can watch some tv-“ I started.

“I want to talk to you about something” he noticed.

Oh no, not again! I sighed and softly laid myself on the floor, while he was sitting in my bed.

“What?” I asked complainingly. He sighed at me.

“How can it be you don’t get angry at Tyler? You didn’t blackmail him to tell you his nature-“

“He is my friend!” I sat up pointing at him angrily. “I’m not going to tell you this anymore! This is the last time! Tyler is my friend! Friends wait for other friends to tell them big things like this-“

“How come you didn’t tell him about your dad then? Or the fact that you’re a lighter?” Adrian noticed huh? I guess I’m not that good a friend myself. I’m not ready to spread the word, right now the best thing for me is silence.

“I trust him” I answered and looked out the window. No people out on the street, huh?

“You didn’t answer my question” he noticed, I could feel him behind me. I guess she trusts him more than she trusts me.

You’re right Adrian. I trust Tyler over you, Tyler I know. I know his reactions most of the time, I know a bit of his past - the fact that his dad kicked him out because of Tyler’s choice of life - and his plans for the future. I have a feeling that Tyler and I never will leave each other’s side. Will always be together no matter what. I guess that’s why I don’t want to push him. It feels wrong to do so.

“I didn’t tell him, because I trust him enough to know it won’t be an issue” I answered. Tyler will freak out a bit when I tell him, but not leave my side because of it.

I guess they never kissed. I could feel the blood rushing to my head. What? Why’s he thinking about that? They seem like a couple though. I hate that. Adrian, we both know the law of Amalion. Lighters and light protectors aren’t allowed to be together ~ you shouldn’t think about those feelings, you should never act on them. The kisses we have, the tension between us… It’s one of the reasons I get so mad at you, I guess. Like someone placing the most beautiful toy in front of you, and then telling you “SORRY! You can’t play with it!”. I want to play with you Adrian. I guess that’s what I’m trying to say.

I like you, even though I shouldn’t. The best for both of us would be if one of us moved, and made sure we never are going to meet each other again, but I guess you won’t go that far. We shouldn’t talk about these things…

“Really? Sure he won’t break up with you?” he said with the voice of a devil.

“You know I aren’t dating, Adrian. And for my sake I’ll never do” I’ve never been the girl dreaming of a big wedding and a husband at the alter waiting for me. A picture of Adrian dressed in a suit, made me cough. Jeez, this is annoying. I hate things like this…

“You’re never going to?” he asked shocked, I turned around and looked in the ground. He’s right in front of me.

“Think about who I am, Adrian” I continued “I’m the daughter of a dark lighter. When the news get out, I’ll never be left alone. I’ll be hunted by many the rest of my life. Why should I want to bring other people into this? If I someday want to settle down, I can’t. If I someday get my own daughter, think about the danger I would put her in. The point of dating is long gone for me” I bit my lip. It’s not like a wanted it anyways…

He suddenly laughed. “Right now, dating for you would be movies, relaxing on the couch with the guy you like, going to proms, spending time with each other, doing nothing, but not minding it, ‘cause you don’t feel like you’re wasting time” his arm surrounded me, he’s hugging me.

I could feel his breath near my ear. “Don’t live in the future, live right now”. This time he didn’t kiss me, even though he was so close. I wanted to kiss him, but I didn’t. I just felt his arms around me, and decided not to yell. If I keep pushing people away, I’ll end up alone. I can’t live alone the rest of my life… “Okay” I answered slowly “But only for you

He laughed while holding me. I like when he does that ~like in the café, where he held around me, since I felt so bad.

If I invited you on a date ~what would you say?” he whispered in my ear, I stiffened “If you say yes I promise to behave nice… no kisses, no knives or fight, just a night where we can relax and have fun together?” It sounds fun, it sounds nice…

…I guess it can’t hurt” I answered smilingly “But I have one condition ~ you bring a flower in my favorite color

He suddenly stared at me, I could see some lights in his eyes.

What’s it?” I laughed and winked at him playfully.

You’ll have to figure that one out, on your own” I answered, and smiled while walking out into the kitchen. He walked out smiling like a child on Christmas Eve.

“Sorry, but I’ll have to go now, see you later” he walked out the front door, while I poured myself a glass of water.


The club I’m in is way too hot, there are way too many people in here, and I don’t care! I love the music, I love to move, and I’ll love when I wake up tomorrow and feel free! The music was so loud that I could hear nothing else. The light made me see pictures instead of movement, and the smoke from the DJ is choking me slowly. But it’s fun, it’s nice! I stared at the balcony in the club(Lighted up, but not very much) a man was standing there, staring down at me. For god sake - I turned around and started dancing again. If people are staring that’s their problem. Not mine! After a few drinks and some hours of dancing, I got out from the club - a task that was harder than you should think. I walk towards home - I can’t even stand straight! I’m an idiot. I could feel someone’s eyes on me, it’s not my problem right now. Right now I just need to go home! In my bed… I loooooooove my bed! It’s so warm, and soooooft!

My shoe is sticky - I guess someone spilled a drink on it. Ha-ha.

“Sticky shoe” I mumbled for myself, and bit my tongue. I guess I should huuuuurry up! I want my bed! The streets aren’t so clear. Light hurts my eyes, I can’t walk straight. I want to go home! Someone walked beside me. “Are you alright?” he asked. Pull it together Rachael!

“Sure” I answered, Idiot! Wrong answer to that question!

He started laughing, and then he was gone. I guess my mind plays trick while drunk - it’s magical, I’m sure it can create illusions. I walked into my house, closed the door, and in the clothes I was in, I felt asleep on the bed.


When I walked to school I could feel someone watching me - so I guess it’s not just my mind making illusions. I guess it’s better to wait it out, and see who will make them known to me. 

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