Still Breathing

" I closed the book, and laid my head on my hands. How can it be, that I’m knowing of this world? Of Adrian? " - Rachael

It's easier just reading first chapter and decide if you like this story or not ;) And i'm sorry about the grammar(i'm working on it :)

Link to the next in the series: :D


10. A feeling of betrayal

How am I going to tell mom I met dad? I can’t do it right away, I need a lie - something to get her to cool down.

I hesitated before knocking on the door, a second later I realized I shouldn’t have knock. I’m behaving like I don’t live here, god damnit.

“Huh?” mom looked like a question mark. Then her face turned red and she started yelling at me “Where have you been? Couldn’t you ca-“I stopped listening after the first sentence and just nodded. She never listens to what I say anyway, so why bother answering?

Silencia ran into my arms, and I couldn’t feel anything else that the feeling that I’m betraying her.

“Where have you been?” she whispered, while Mom got her feelings satisfied.

“I’ll tell you later” I answered, and just hugged her, wishing Mom weren’t there. I have to wait for Silencia to go to bed, if I want to discuss without her noticing.

“Take some dinner!” mom yelled, I went to the kitchen and took some leftovers. I don’t think mom really ever care about where I go, who I’m with, and what I’m doing with them. I think I can go and come as it pleases me. As long as i am not noise at home.

“Mom, can I go out with some friends?”  Silencia asked.

“ABSOLUTLY NOT!” Huh? I’m normally not home for dinner - I’m on the library, in the bookstore, or at Tyler’s. Oh god! Tyler! He must be worried sick!

“Why not?” Silencia asked with a begging meme. “I’ll be home before ten, I promise!” If she leaves I would have plenty of time to discuss with mom, and the opportunity to shout.

“It’s a school night!” mom answered.

“I have done all my homework, and my duties, pleaaaase mom, pleeeeease?” I stared at Silencia. Why can I do as I want, but not her? What is the difference for mom? The age?

“I’ll take her to her friends, and pick her up again” I suggested

Mom stared at me like I was the devil. What have I done now? Oh right - I remember now why I’m always out. Mom and I always fight when I’m home. I wonder why. I guess it’s the difference in our personalities.

“You can go out, but only for tonight” mom mumbled at the dinner table “And be home before the clock reaches 10!” Silencia clapped her hands and ran around the house looking for her shoes and coat. I could feel mom’s eyes on me; I kept eating without looking her in the eyes.

I waited for Silencia to go, when the door slammed, I looked up into mom’s eyes.

“Where have you been?” Mom asked before I got a word said.

The plan about lying sucks. I can’t come up with anything anyway “I was with dad”

Mom stared at me, with fear in her eyes. “WHAT?”

I laughed, and could see in her eyes I looked insane for her. I’m not insane! I’m fine, it’s her that should be in a mental hospital.

“I was with dad - you know, dark, tall - a lighter!” I got up on my feet and stared down at her “I can’t believe you drugged my memories out of me!”

“Where is he?” she asked “What did he tell you?”

“About your affair with another man” I could feel my stomach crawling together - I don’t care. I want to hurt her, just a little bit, for all the things she have done to me and Silencia.

“You shouldn’t be a mom” I noticed. She laughed and got up, she started to pour alcohol (whisky) into a glass, and started drinking it.

“You have no idea of what idiot that man is! I didn’t want to get married with him, I admit I did it for the money - but before I could divorce him, we got isolated, making me unable to leave”.

I bit my tongue. Mom after money? I guess I should have thought of that. I wonder how hurt he was when she told him that? She is evil enough to do it - I know her to well to doubt that.

“The only reason I came back home” I sighed “Was because of Silencia”

“Silencia?” she asked and looked surprised “what are you talking about?”

“Dad wants a blood test, to see if she’s his daughter” I bit my lip “And I know the test would say no. Silencia can’t handle that, I’ve to protect her!”

Mom looked shocked, and then she suddenly smiles. “I don’t care about the blood test, I think I’ll let you handle it” then she left, leaving me speechless. What?


When I went to bed I lay down in my normal clothes, I took some of that stuff that dad gave me. I fell asleep instantly, wishing I was back at the castle.


Adrian tells…

Mom asked me if there was more - I guess she read my face right. I bit my lip and told about the blood test, and Silencia. She was shocked “How can I help?”

I stared at mom. “Help?”

“It doesn’t sound like one person can hold him back, I want to help too. I guess Crish can’t since his job is to protect Quinn, but he owes Rachael a favor, and dad is too busy too, and your big sister isn’t around much…”

“I don’t think there is much we can do to be honest” I smiled at her “I don’t think her dad will send something hard to kill towards his own daughter, and I really doubt he didn’t train her well enough to kill those, when she gets her memory back”.

She nodded. “Just tell her that she is always welcome in our home, and if she needs help she should just ask”.

I nodded, mom walked out of the kitchen.

“Rachael has a little sister?” Quinn stood behind me, scaring me to hell.

“Yeah, she does” I answered.

“Can’t you invite her over? I reaaaally want to meet her!”

I stared at her for a second “Only if Rachael is okay with it” she ran happy out. Crish stared at me from the doorway.

“What kind of magic does this girl have over you, brother?” he stared at med wondering. “You would never go on such a suicide mission for any other girl”

“Rachael needs help, if I hadn’t shouted her name, she would be dead” I answered and walked towards the doorway - I want to sleep. He grabbed my arm.

“I don’t think you should invite her home again, I doubt it will bring any good”

I took a deep breath “If she needs my help, I’ll give her it”

My bed looked so dreamy, I fell asleep instantly.


I wanted to follow her to school like I did before - I guess I like knowing she’s safe. But when I couldn’t find her on the road, even though I left early, I got worried, I got a message.

“Sorry, I’m being a bit late, see you in school!”

How did she know I was worried? I walked to school and got a seat beside the one she always picks. I saw Tyler getting on the other side, making me a bit pissed.  I forgot all about it, the second she walked in the room, I stared. Her jeans was tighter than normally - showing her legs to perfection, her shirt showed her lovely curves, but not so tight it showed anything inappropriate, her hair had curls for a change, and her eyes had mascara around them, making her eyes bigger than usual.

“Morning” she smiled at me, then Tyler.

“Wauw” he didn’t hide it, he just said it. I guess I would too if I was her ‘friend’ also.

“Huh?” she just said, then she started to get her books on the desk.

“Where have you been?” he asked still looking her up and down, I wanted to hit him hard, perhaps just a little bit, so he would faint.

She suddenly looked at me, looking a bit pissed.

“I know I’m late, I had to follow Silencia to school”

“Aren’t that in the other side of town?” he asked “I mean the last couple of days?”

She suddenly blushed and then smiled at him - got angry again.

“My mom told me I had to relax a bit, so she gave a gift certificate to a spa” She didn’t show any signs of lying, I guess that comes with the ferike powers. She suddenly looked at me again, I could see her face turning red and her eyes killing me slowly. What have I done?

She suddenly took something out of the bag and placed it around her wrist: a bracelet? I could see runes on it, so magical?

The class started, I stared when the teacher Jenny walked down to our group asking to talk to Rachael alone. She walked out.

“Okay lighter, where was Rachael really?” I stared at him, so magical eh?

“Not any place of your concern” I answered, looking down at the questions.

“My concern is the person that picked up her phone after I called her, saying ‘This is the darkest lighter alive, I’m sorry the person you’re trying to reach are no longer in your world. I’ll make sure she gets your message’” She never mentioned that, I guess she forgot. I bit my lip.

“It still doesn’t concern you” I answered “If I does I’m sure she’ll tell you”

We worked a bit after that, both waiting for her to come back. After 15 minutes she was back, looking quite confused.

“Are everything alright?” I asked her. She nodded, but didn’t seem so aware of me asking, she looked distant.

Jenny came to our table. “We’ll start with you special training tomorrow, okay Rachael?” Rachael nodded.

“You should drink some water” Jenny left a bottle of water on the table, Rachael took it fast and drank the whole thing, without any stops, I stared when I saw some drops of sweat on her forehead.

“Are everything okay?” I asked, she nodded again, but I could hear her heavy breathing.

“I’m fine, I just have a hell of a headache” she mumbled.

“I have some pills, if you want some?” Tyler smiled at her, she nodded, looking thankful.

“Thank you” she got two, took them fast, and after that seemed kind of tired.

We were done, I was curious and she looked like she felt bad: She skipped P.E. and didn’t show up for the class after, I saw her in the break: sleeping over a table.

I saw Tyler walking towards her and got angry, but before I could walk to her, someone pulled me to their table.


Tyler tells…

She was staring down into the table like she was really sick. I got both angry and sad. I hate the fact that whatever the dark lighter did to her, causes her pain even here. It must be that right? I can’t imagine any other thing.

“I want to talk about something” I noticed when I reached her “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine” she answered and coughed a bit smilingly “I’m just tired”

“Why did you lie to me about you being gone? I called your phone and I got the message of a dark lighter-“

“Wait, you know about that?” she looked stunned, den I could see her face turning expressionless and her guards came up. I have seen that so many times - but never towards me.

“Of course I know, I called and-“ I couldn’t get myself to explain anymore, she just stared at me.

“Are you a lighter too?” she asked weird.

“No - “ I could see her getting surprised and then looking weird at me. “Then what are you?”

“I’m a-“ I stopped and looked at her “Why do you even know about lighters? And how did you survive the dark lighters?”

People started turning around.

“Tyler let’s take a walk” she noticed and pulled me outside the cafeteria.

“Answer my questions now please” we were walking around the training hall.

“Some vampires attacked me, Adrian saved me - I noticed it and perhaps blackmailed him to tell me, that’s why I know about the lighters” her fingers touched a leaf on a tree, making me wonder.

“Are you okay, after meeting the dark lighters?” I asked and stared at her tired person.

“Better than okay, I’m me again” she said mysteriously, making me stare.

“You don’t normally wear clothes like that-“

“Well, I got my fashion scent back” she laughed, and then smiled at the ground. “But anyway, what are you?”

I blushed while looking at her. She said it so casually, like it’s no big deal. I guess to her it aren’t, to most people it would be. It’s not like she have anything against what I am, I guess she won’t, if I just say the name I guess she won’t know what I am, and might be afraid of me, perhaps even stop being my friend because of it.

“I promise not to get afraid” she noticed and I felt her hand around mine. She was smiling at me, looking patiently, waiting for me to tell her.

“I’m a…” I bit my tongue. When I first met her I got surprised. She doesn’t like people; She don’t trust them. I started feeling bad, she actually let me into her life, and I repaid her by lying about my nature - my true self.

The stamina of hers match the lighters; Except she aren’t one, and don’t look down at other people for being different. The lighters think they’re better than everyone else, it’s sickening me! I wonder - if she could become a creature of magic would she choose lighters? Or would she choose another species - like mine perhaps? Would she hate me after finding out? Will she be afraid?

She suddenly laughed. “Tyler, if you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have too” I stared at her smile “Just because your DNA is different from a humans doesn’t it mean you personality is too, right? If you ever want to tell me, I’ll be happy, but if you won’t now it’s okay” I blushed once more. I have forgotten that recently, her forgiving nature. I guess it’s because it takes a lot for her to get mad at me.

“Breaks over” she noticed with a little smile “I’ll skip classes for today - I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t, but I’m so tired…”

“It’s okay” I laughed and hugged her. “Go home and rest, see you tomorrow”

“See you” she looked surprised at me and started to walk away. I guess the lighters are having a bad effect on her. I hope she’ll be okay.

A long time ago

“You are my new class!” Jenny the main teacher of our class was looking around, judging every face. I guess all teachers are magical beings, then what is she? The first thing she wanted us to do, was to take a test. The questions were easy, and about us. I guess she wants to know about us. Of course she can’t write “What are you?” on it, since humans go to this school to. That’s the reason I chose it. Humans are calmer than lighters and other creatures. “Here, Jenny” a girls voice sounded in the quite room. She was at the desk, handing her paper over.

“Thank you Rachael” Jenny answered “You can sit down, and wait for the others to finish”

“Okay” she sat down a few rows from me. Her hair is long and black, I wonder… she looks like a lighter? A bit. But humans and lighters look pretty much the same. After five minutes I handed in my paper, and waited for the last five to finish.

“Rachael, can you hand out these schedules?”, Rachael got up, and walked fast towards the desk. When she turned around to give people the papers she was smiling.

“Okay, so while Rachael hand out these schedules, I’m going to tell you what will happen the next few weeks”

Jenny made a big x on the blackboard.

“The first three weeks we will have this class bonding. And the fourth week we will have this class bonding with the other classes. Every day you will fight one specific partner; this partner will help you through the next three years. If your partner is sad: Help him/her, if wounded; Help him/her, if she or he is having trouble with the classes, help!”

So we are supposed to fight the partner, we are supposed to help, the next three weeks, my hand flew up. “Why fight?”

“So you know what your partner can take” Jenny laughed.

Rachael reached my table, placed the schedule and walked to the next table. “The rest of this class you can talk to each other, relax and have a bit fun. Get to know each other, when I’m done getting people partners, which would be next class, you will fight”


I got up and walked towards Rachael’s desk. She was looking intensely on her paper. “Hello” I said when I finally reached her “I’m Tyler, what is your name?” She stared at me for a moment then smiled looking down at the table. “Rachael”

“So - what do you think of the schedule?” IDIOT! I don’t know what to say.

“I’m flattered that you went through the trouble to come over here, and try to talk to me, but I’m not interested in getting any friends” she said bluntly. I was stunned. Mouth open, eyes spread wide.

“But you can’t go three years without having at least one friend” I noticed. She stared at me for moment then shrugged her shoulders. “I can”

“Won’t you be lonely?” I asked. She laughed out loud. “No, I don’t need to be around other people” I stared at her for five minutes. “Rachael, I can’t come by your house today, can you give this to your mother for me?” Jenny the teacher was standing beside me, with a letter in her hands. Rachael took it, while nodding.

“I’m going to go back, I’m almost done” the teacher disappeared. I was still speechless, the teacher suddenly asked all of us to sit down, and made Rachael walk around handing papers out. I quickly found my name on the paper, and followed the little dots to my partner’s name.




Adrian tells…

Why did she go so easy on him?! Staring at them from the shadows may be a bit old and a bit sneaky, but I don’t mind right now. Someone have to protect the one who don’t protect herself.

“See you!” she suddenly started running. I waited for Tyler to leave, before running after her. 

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