Silence

TRIGGERING!!!

Willow has experienced neglect and abuse all her life, she resorted to self-harm as a release and suicide as a way out from the horror that she lived. Willow has a complicated story where she loved her bully, Taila, she also made friends but at the last moments of her life.

Taila has a slightly different story, she was the bully to Willow but she had a secret as well. In her personal life, outside school she lived with her adopted mother and brother- who was released from prison-, he constantly rapes Taila. She finds that she needs to be better than others at school so no one will see how weak she is. The strange matter was she loved Willow, so in the end she tries to help but it is too late.

Liam is one of Willow's closest friends, at his old school he was bullied for being gay and his boyfriend killed himself, after recovering he moved school and met his new group whom befriended Willow soon after. But did Liam truly get over the pain or did he just hide it away?

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18. Taila's Story Part 8

Days went by, my brothers court case came and went and he went back to jail. My world was nothing, I walked over to my clothes and dressed into black clothing. I had to go to her funeral, I had to accept she was gone. 

I didn't want to accept that she was gone, it was too soon. I would never get the life I wanted with her, would never get to kiss her again, to tell her I loved her or tell her what she meant to me. I was dressed and ready.

We drove with the other cars up to the church, I sat in front by the guys. Her coffin stood at the front, flowers surrounded it, and a large picture of my angel with Blake and Evan sat in front of it all. None of it felt real, I didn't want to accept it.

The priest spoke some words before each of the group went up and spoke soft words of her, brotherly love, short but strong bonds. They spoke of the times they shared, of how she changed their lives. Then my time came.

"I haven't wrote a speech, I didn't know what to say. What I have to say is from my heart", I started as my voice filled with sadness.

"Willow was special, she was the kind of person that only comes once in a lifetime. I let that lifetime slip by before I knew it was over. I loved Willow, not like a sister but as a friend yet more than a friend. I loved her as a soul mate. I never got to tell her this so I hope she is here with  me now", I continued. All eyes were on me, and I hoped her beautiful eyes were watching me as well.

"Willow, you were my world even if I never showed it. You brought the beat to my heart, the light to my morning, the stars to my night. I never gave you what you deserved, I treated you so bad, I will never forgive myself for what I did but Willow, my angel, I love you", I spoke before breaking down into tears.

Music started and the guys carried her coffin out of the church and to the back to the cemetery. There she was lowered into the ground, the priest spoke more words but I couldn't listen.

I fell to the stone crying my eyes out, time slipped by from day to night until I was softly pulled away from the grave by Liam and Blake. They guided me home and told me they would see me the next day.

That night I curled in my bed dreaming of Willow. We were standing hand in hand, the guys laughing away with us. It was perfect, I told her I loved her, she told me she loved me too. But it was only a dream. Just a dream that would never come true. 

The next day at school I sat with the entire school in the assembly hall, there was quiet whispers from all around but none where of happiness, on the large screen down front was Willow, she looked different in the picture. She looked more happy than I had ever seen her, she looked different. 

Then the principle spoke loud and clear so we would all hear his broken words;

"This girl is Willow, she took her own life only a few days ago. Yesterday she was buried by those who truly cared about her. Today I am going to tell you a story she wrote, it was a report she was to write for English, turns out, it is her story", he spoke, sadness was all that I could hear.

I looked up at the picture, now we were going to hear the report she had written. We were going to hear her story, her life.

"I have no name, not to them. They give me names but they are not my friends. They call me ugly, fat and stupid. I guess it is true though but it is not the names that just affect me. When I was born I was a mistake, I have been told this every single day. I had siblings but they left me alone as soon as they could. But before that I should begin at the start", the principle spoke, his voice echoed across the walls as his breathe caught with a soft sob.

"As long as I can remember I have knowing nothing but pain. You see there is a woman in my life that causes me so my heartache that I have became broken. That woman is my mother, for years she abused me, she would even try to kill me at times. I sometimes wished she did. My father is an alcoholic, he has drank for a very long time. He says it is because of me you see. At times he joins in, he beats me up worse than her, when I was still young I felt lost when I wasn't being hurt. I felt like I had no control in my life so what did I do? I decided to cut. I didn't understand what I was doing at the time but still I felt some control from watching the blood pour down. I could lie and say that I never went too far but that's not true. As I grew I got worse, as I grew life got worse", 

Once again he took a breath, like myself everyone was staring at the principle wanting to hear the rest. It was like it took her death to make us see, to make us believe.

"After years of torture my father found out my mother was having an affair so he left her taking my siblings and I with him. I thought it was my chance to have a fresh start, that maybe I could even make a friend or two but that was not to be the case. I joined a new school, from the very first day people treated me different. They used to call me names that were not my name but soon they began to hit me like her and him. Finally one day a group of boys took my innocence away. I felt lost, more lost than I ever did.",

The principle looked over to the popular guys, the entire school followed his disgusted gaze. So they had...

"I have a secret like anyone else as well, I fell in love. With who though? One of the girls that bullied me, they say that there is a thin line between love and hate. I wondered if she loved me or hated me when she placed her lips upon mines. I made friends as well, they were amazing. But all happiness has to come to an end. So I chose my end", by then I was in tears, the principle was in tears, everyone was in tears.

"I have no feelings, not to them. The truth is I do have emotions, its called pain. I have no life, not to them. The truth is I do have a life, it is hell. I have no name, not to them. The truth is I have a name, my name is Willow", he finished and put his head down in silence.

 

Everyone followed in response to his actions, I heard whispers of sorry. My sobs echoed in the silence, I felt people turn my way, I made my own whisper to her;

"I love you Willow, I always have and I always will"

The silence filled once more, the pain sank into my heart. I didn't care if it sounded crazy but in the silence I heard her voice, her beautiful voice.

 I love you too Taila, forever and always.

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