Silence

TRIGGERING!!!

Willow has experienced neglect and abuse all her life, she resorted to self-harm as a release and suicide as a way out from the horror that she lived. Willow has a complicated story where she loved her bully, Taila, she also made friends but at the last moments of her life.

Taila has a slightly different story, she was the bully to Willow but she had a secret as well. In her personal life, outside school she lived with her adopted mother and brother- who was released from prison-, he constantly rapes Taila. She finds that she needs to be better than others at school so no one will see how weak she is. The strange matter was she loved Willow, so in the end she tries to help but it is too late.

Liam is one of Willow's closest friends, at his old school he was bullied for being gay and his boyfriend killed himself, after recovering he moved school and met his new group whom befriended Willow soon after. But did Liam truly get over the pain or did he just hide it away?

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20. Liam's Story Part 2

My breathe was caught in the back of my throat as I looked down the endless white halls, it had been three days since Devin moved on but it was still fresh on my mind. I hadn't slept, eaten or spoken, I just felt like giving up but they wouldn't let me. They kept pushing the picture of his body in my head yet they didn't let me die. 

In front of me was another door, behind the door? Was the room where my parents wanted my secrets to be told but I wouldn't speak. I couldn't. As I entered the room I was placed onto a chair facing a woman in her late thirties- perhaps her early forties. I licked my lips and  looked at the room around me as my parents conversed with the woman about my "situation".

The walls were a plain white with posters spread across them, in the far corner there was a small bookshelf lined with only a few books, overall the room was simple and slightly nerve racking. I was going to have to get used it though since my parents thought it was the only way to help me.        

"Now Liam, do you know why you are here?", the woman asked bringing me away from my observations of the room.

I nodded my head in response and flinched a little when I saw the sadness in my mothers eyes, it hurt to know that I was causing my family pain but I just couldn't find the strength inside of me to utter a single whisper let alone speak a few words.

"I'm Celina, I'm going to help you through your troubles and hopefully help you to speak again", the woman continued, her voice sounding sympathetic. She went on to explain the plan she had made in my "steps to speaking" as Celina called it.

My parents left half an hour into the session leaving me alone with Celina in the creepy room. She kept asking me questions and each time I would only respond with a nod, shake or a shrug. It got to the point where she sighed in frustration. If she had thought that I would break so easily she was wrong.

"Okay Liam I am going to give you some paper, I want you to write down how you are feeling and why you won't talk", Celina stated placing some sheets of paper in front of me along with a pen. I sighed and decided to write what she wanted me to.

My boyfriend committed suicide a few days ago, it was all my fault. I don't want to talk, why should I when all I do is cause other people to feel hurt and angry towards me and those I love?


Celina scanned over my few sentences before smiling softly, from what I had written I didn't think smiling would be such a good thing to do but it seemed like she had a different point of view to that. "Now we know the problem we can sort it out on your next visit which is in two days from now, your parents should be outside waiting for you. I'll see you in a few days Liam, you may leave now", Celina said before ushering me out of her door.

My parents were waiting for me at the reception, they both had worried looks on their faces, the same look they have had for the last few days. I gave them a reassuring smile before walking out of the building and to the car. 

The drive back to my house was painfully silent, the music on the radio was too depressing and my parents giving me awkward glances every now and then didn't make things more comfortable. I strummed my fingers against the window as we drove down the streets to my house. When we finally arrived I jumped out of the car thankful to finally be free from the closing walls of the car.

As we entered the house my expression turned to confusion as I saw packed boxes scattered across the floor. Turning to my parents for an answer they looked at me with a hint of sadness before guiding me into the almost empty living room.

"After your next appointment with Doctor Celina we are moving to a new town, your mother and I think it's best if we leave here for a while and start a new. I know it's sudden son but it's for the best", my dad told me as he let out a long sigh. 

A part of me was happy that we were moving, maybe it would help me. But another part of me kept saying it was wrong, it would be like leaving Devin and our memories behind but I didn't want to linger in the pain. I nodded before grabbing some of the empty boxes and headed to my room to unpack.

By the time it was getting dark outside my room was packed away in boxes and suit cases. I sat on my bed gazing at a picture of Devin, I remembered the day I took that photograph of him. It was the same day he said he loved me for the first time. My heart pained at the memory that would only remain a memory in a photograph as my mind had already pushed the painful memories of him to the darkest corner of my mind.

Over the next two days I helped pack around the house, I even managed to eat something. It didn't seem like much but it was a small improvement. I didn't get to go to Devin's funeral since everyone thought it would be too much for me to handle so I said my goodbyes to him in my mind. 

 As I sat in Celina's room again she talked me through coping methods and ended up prescribing me with anti-depression tablets. To say the least when I took them for the first time I seemed to become very hyper but it felt good to not feel so empty.

After three hours of her rambling on though I started to get frustrated and I just wanted to shout at her and tell her to shut up... so I did...

"Stop repeating yourself woman!", I screamed throwing my hands dramatically in the air. Celina let out a smile and my mother tackled me to the ground with hugs but not without telling me off, of course.

"Don't be so rude Liam Roy, apologized to the nice woman", my mother scolded me but my dad couldn't help but laugh. It felt like everything was normal, even though I still had a long way to go I was getting there one step at a time. 

 

That afternoon my parents and I went out to lunch and they even let me have ice-cream which I knew they regretted. I never mixed well with the holy wonder of ice-cream. It brought out the extremely hyper child from within me.

After lunch we headed to the house for the very last time and gathered everything into the car, the furniture and larger boxes were already at the new place. I had a good feeling about the place we were going to move to. I just hoped that maybe, just maybe I could have a fresh start in life.

With everything ready we were off on the long journey to my new home, my new life and my future, it only I knew what was going to happen. If only I knew that things were never that easy... if only I knew that the past was willing to repeat itself once more.

 

If only I had known...

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