Silence

TRIGGERING!!!

Willow has experienced neglect and abuse all her life, she resorted to self-harm as a release and suicide as a way out from the horror that she lived. Willow has a complicated story where she loved her bully, Taila, she also made friends but at the last moments of her life.

Taila has a slightly different story, she was the bully to Willow but she had a secret as well. In her personal life, outside school she lived with her adopted mother and brother- who was released from prison-, he constantly rapes Taila. She finds that she needs to be better than others at school so no one will see how weak she is. The strange matter was she loved Willow, so in the end she tries to help but it is too late.

Liam is one of Willow's closest friends, at his old school he was bullied for being gay and his boyfriend killed himself, after recovering he moved school and met his new group whom befriended Willow soon after. But did Liam truly get over the pain or did he just hide it away?

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19. Liam's Story Part 1

The world is a cruel place, it has always been that way. Others think they are better than the rest, they make those under them feel like dirt. If you aren't like them, then you are not worthy enough to breathe the same air as them. People change for those who think they are better than the rest, people hide who they truly are. If you aren't perfect in their eyes then you are nothing. 

 

                                           ***

The wind blew against my back as I dragged my feet to school, I didn't want to be there. It was my own slice of torture, ever since I had came out about being gay my life turned upside down. At first my parents thought there was something wrong with me, my dad would go on how I wasn't a man and my mum would say I was her son not daughter. But then they saw how happy I was with Devin, they came around slowly. I wish I could it was the same at school.

My friends had became my nightmares as I walked the halls, they revealed secrets that we once shared. They would push me around and laugh at how I was weaker compared to them. Sure I was a small guy but it didn't mean I was weak. My life had changed in a matter of moments all because of me being true to who I was.

In front of my the old building known as Linkin High dawned. Biting my lips I prepared for the worse, I just had to make it past the group then I could get to the back of the school to be with my few friends. If only it was that easy, as I walked down the halls I was greeted by names and anger.

The names I was used to by now but it didn't mean that they no longer hurt;

 

Faggot

Gayboy

Pathetic

Wimp

Drag queen

 

I let out a sigh as I came to the group I once called my friends, one of my once best friend's turned around. Her blonde hair flicking over her shoulder as she did, her hand landed on her hip and a cruel smile played on her lips;

 

"Hey faggot, I have some clothes, just a few skirts and such. You can have them if you want, you know since you are a girl", Katie laughed causing the other guys to turn around. I didn't notice when we were friends but she was a bitch.

Ignoring the pain that was building up I walked away quickly with their laughter echoing behind me. Finally the fire escape came in sight,  the light greeted my still sleepy eyes as I opened the door. Soon enough Devin, the love of my life stood in front of me with his adorable grin. 

Devin was my boyfriend, I met him a year ago and we dated in secret for six months then I came out with him. That is when my life changed, if it wasn't for Devin I would have actually ended my life that day, I almost did. 

"Happy birthday baby", I smiled leaning up to kiss him. Just as our lips touched someone made a puking sound causing us to turn around.

"Well if it isn't the two faggots", Simon, the main man of the school said. Before I knew what was happening I was held back as I watched the love of my life be beating to the ground. 

My eyes glazed over as I fell to the ground, with the strength I had left I crawled over to Devin’s bloody and bruised body. I called his parents and told them what happened, when I knew he was safe I finally went to class, well my third lesson of the day.

I watched the time pass by in every class, I didn't care anymore. I failed to protect the one person who meant the world to me. By the last class I felt like I was going crazy, it felt like something bad was happening I just didn't know what.

I ignored all the harsh comments and teasing, I didn't care anymore. Then it happened, my phone vibrated in my pocket causing me to jump back into the real world;

D- I love you with all my heart, never forget that. It isn't your fault babe so please don't blame yourself. I just can't take it anymore, I'm so sorry. I love you with my heart and soul to death.

L- I love you too, what do you mean?

 

But there was no reply, by death he meant death. I got out of my chair and ran out of the class, I sprinted to his house and barged into it not caring. I reached his room and the sight in front of me carved into my mind like a scar.

Hanging from the ceiling a rope dangled around his neck, on the wall his shadow swayed slightly from the noose. I couldn't say anything, I couldn't scream. I heard the sirens, I felt myself being taking away. But all I could see was Devin’s lifeless body, it was all my fault.

I shouldn't had convinced him to come out, he wasn't ready. I shouldn't had let them hurt him, I failed him. I felt like my world was breaking away, that all the colours were turning to black and white. My life seemed useless without him, my world closed down. My heart shattered into millions of tiny pieces and I died inside. 

I just didn't care for anything or anyone anymore, I couldn't. I had lost my reason to live, and I was the one to blame. How could I have lived with myself? I couldn't, so I grabbed my dads gun from his office and held it to my heart. 

The trigger slipped from my grip, in my hand I held a photo of my Devin, I was going to join him. I couldn't go on without him... I just couldn't. Then everything stopped, the thoughts fell silent, the light faded, the pain eased. Had I found peace? 

Into the darkness I fell with a smile on my face.

 Peace.  

 

Around me there was colour in the world, I was flying in the wind my heart hammering against my chest. As I soared I could see a world that I didn't know, it was the perfect world. I could see Devin standing by my side, a smile on his adorable face. But then it changed, the colours faded away leaving nothing but a grey world and the heavens crying.

Below me there was my parents crying against one another, in their arms was me sitting at the wall. My face looked blank, as if I was in my own world. I clutched a gun tight in my hand with the trigger pressed against my fingers.

As I looked closer I could see a tear escape from my eye, a strange sensation filled me and I fell. I hit the ground and suddenly I was back in my room staring at the wall, behind me my parents seemed to be calling out to me but it felt wrong.

I tried to speak but no words came out, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move. The gun slipped from my hand causing a bang on the ground, I found strength and stood up slowly before turning to my parents. I didn't say a word, I couldn't. 

 


"Son, its your dad. Can you hear me?", my father asked as he waved his hand in front of my face.

I responded with a simple nod before walking over to my mum and smiling a little,  she was an amazing woman. She had been there for me through most things, but she couldn't be there for me anymore. She wouldn't understand.

"Honey, please say something", my mother asked, her voice filled with sadness. I bit my lip and shook my head. I didn't want to speak, I couldn't.

 

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