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Exasperated, that's what I was- am. My pride that was once stored within me has now vanished into billions of particles, dissolved and evaporated into the mass air that surrounds me. Lifeless: nothing more, nothing less. I lay, placidly, willingly, acceptingly, though, my body is no longer belligerent; it's given up.
My name is Kaitlynn Malik and this is my story.

Copyright.© 2014 All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission by the author.

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9. Chapter 9.

Kait's POV

I lay in my bed, staring at the blank ceiling. I sigh, dragging myself out of bed and into the bathroom. I peel my shirt off, looking into the mirror, observing the marks that take over my body.

I wish that I could tell Zayn of everything that is happening to me with the lads, but I know that I can't. And to think that I will have to spend a couple of months with them, without Zayn, and their constant torture. I shake my head, trying to clear myself of my thoughts. Please, Zayn, please don't go.

I turn on the shower, stripping off my remaining clothes to step underneath the hot water, allowing it to trickle down my skin. I think of all the things that the lads could do to me while Zayn is gone and I cringe as the thoughts enter my mind. Liam could rape me. They could kick me repeatedly anywhere that they pleased. Strangle me until I pass out.

I let out a deep breath that I didn't know I was holding. Please, please leave me alone.

I stand under the shower for what feels like hours, but was only almost an hour. Nothing about my body has relaxed from the hot water and I want to cry. I want to crawl into a hole, where no one would find me, and cry. I want to cry until I was all cried out.

I reach for the shower handle and turn the shower off, stepping outside and wrapping a towel around my body. I walk into my room, digging through my closet until I found a pair of grey sweatpants, black undergarment, and a loose black t-shirt. I shrug, walking back into my room and pulling on the clothes. I look down on my arms, which reveal my deep cuts. I swallow a lump in my throat, searching for a jacket and pulling it on.

I walk down the stairs, hearing the sounds of all the lads downstairs. I stand at the bottom stair, watching as they cut up and have fun, knowing that soon, Zayn will be leaving and I will be left alone with the lads. I sigh. I can do this, can't I?

I walk into the room, immediately attracting the attention of all five lads.

"Kait." Zayn says, holding his arms open to me. I rush over to him, immediately crashing into him, crying. He runs his hands through my hair and whispers against it. "I'm gonna miss you, too."

I cry harder into his chest. Yes, I'm gonna miss him, but that's not why I'm crying. If only he knew, maybe he would stay. I close my eyes as I think of that possibility. I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding. "I'm gonna miss you so much, Zayn." I say to him.

"I'll be back before you know it. I promise." He kisses the top of my head before releasing me, grabbing my hand and dragging me out to the car. The lads carry his things to the car and we all go with Zayn to the airport to say our goodbye's. Please, Zayn, don't go. Don't go.

I hug him tightly, not wanting to let go of him. Ever. The intercom comes on overhead, telling us that it's time for him to board the plane. He hugs all of the lads before hugging me, telling me that he will be back before I know it.

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