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Exasperated, that's what I was- am. My pride that was once stored within me has now vanished into billions of particles, dissolved and evaporated into the mass air that surrounds me. Lifeless: nothing more, nothing less. I lay, placidly, willingly, acceptingly, though, my body is no longer belligerent; it's given up.
My name is Kaitlynn Malik and this is my story.

Copyright.© 2014 All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission by the author.

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4. Chapter 4.

The rest of the day dragged on, silent. The boys hadn't come back today and I was thankful. I walk into my en-suite bathroom, turning on the water for a shower. I stand in front of the mirror, stripping myself. Allowing my final piece of clothing to fall to the floor, I observe myself in the mirror. This girl is not me. She's weak, abandoned, hurt. I skim my fingers across the bruises along my body and the cuts along my arms.

I shake my head, wishing that the events were just a dream. I step into the shower underneath the hot water. I allow the water to trickle down my body. It stings my cuts and bruises, making me wince. I reach for the shampoo and conditioner, washing my hair. As the water lathers my hair, rinsing itself of the suds, I grab the bodywash, pouring it onto a lufa. I grasp the lufa tightly in my hand as I skim it across every inch of my body, wincing when it comes into contact with my cuts. I rinse the lufa out, placing it back on the shelf. I slowly place my right hand underneath the hot water, watching as the suds fall off when the water comes into contact with them, crying as they hit the shower floor.

My life is like those suds. Whenever the boys come near me, my guards pour at my feet as my heart smashes into a million pieces, tears forming in my eyes as I even catch a glimpse of them.

I close my eyes, breathing in the atmosphere as I step underneath the water. It runs down my face and down my body. I wish that it would relax me, but even after almost two hours just standing underneath the water, thinking of how different life would be if I hadn't met them, my body is still tense and pained.

I turn around and turn the water off. I step out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my body as I walk into my bedroom. I walk over to my bed, flopping down onto it as I hold the towel tightly in its place. I stare at the ceiling for what feels like hours before walking into my closet, grabbing pajamas. I let my towel pool at my feet as I pull on my pajamas.

I lay down in my bed, staring at the ceiling before reaching for my iPod, opening a playlist that Zayn made for me of his songs. I fall asleep listening to the angelic voice that is Zayn Malik.

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