Used // h.s (Completed)

Exasperated, that's what I was- am. My pride that was once stored within me has now vanished into billions of particles, dissolved and evaporated into the mass air that surrounds me. Lifeless: nothing more, nothing less. I lay, placidly, willingly, acceptingly, though, my body is no longer belligerent; it's given up.
My name is Kaitlynn Malik and this is my story.

Copyright.© 2014 All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission by the author.


37. Chapter 32.

I pull my keys out of my back pocket, sticking them into the deadbolt on the door and attempting to twist them. What the hell? I turn to face my brother, confused. "It's unlocked." He gives me a weird look but I twist the door handle and push the door open. "I never unlocked it; it was already unlocked," I whisper to my brother.

Alarm crosses his face and he rushes me into the house. "Stay here," he warns. He races across the room and heads up the stairs. I sigh and sit down on the couch. Today has been too long. I wanted to just come home and take a god damn bubble bath and relax, but no, something had to happen.

"Well look-y what we have here," an unfamiliar male voice fills my ears. My head snaps towards the direction of the man, and I freeze. Someone is here. I open my mouth, trying with everything within me to scream for my brother, but no sounds come out. The man laughs at me- is this some joke- something fucking planned by those assholes who have been so nice to me lately? Who the hell even is he? "What?" he asks, moving towards me. "No love for your father?"

My mouth falls open and my eyes widen at the man before me, whom, before today, I had been told was dead. Again, I try to scream for Zayn, but my voice is barely audible at all. It's like gasp- a small tiny gasp, but a gasp nonetheless. Inwardly, I inhale and try one last time to scream for my brother- my voice slipping from my mouth in a loud, tangled, one-word scream: "Zayn!"

I guess my brother could clearly hear the panic in my voice, because not even a second later, he's standing at the bottom of the stairs- his expression mimicing mine. He stands there, completely frozen, for what feels like hours. He blinks a few times, trying to test to see if he is dreaming or awake. After blinking thrice, he straightens his posture, clenches his fists at his sides, and clenches his jaw- oh god, he's mad. Really mad. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

My father turns around to face the man who's looked after me for so many years now- his expression smug. "My, my, my- what a fine young man you've grown into, Zayn." He turns away from me before beginning to make his way to my brother. What? No! "Isn't it obvious who you get your looks from?" he smirks at Zayn, and I can see my brother clench his fists even tighter.

"Zayn, I'm-" Harry begins sing-songing as he enters the house, but stops immediately as he takes in the scene before him. "What the-"

"Take Kaitlynn and get her out of this house," Zayn seethes through gritted teeth, cutting Harry off instantaneously.

Harry nods at him and reaches for my arm, but I yank it away from him. "No," I shout at my brother. "I'm not leaving you!"

"Now," he demands.

Harry picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. "Zayn!" I scream. "No! Harry put me down! Zayn!" Harry ignores my pleas as I continuously slam my fists against his back, the tears spilling from my eyes. "Zayn!" I scream again.

Harry carries me outside and goes to the drivers side of his Range Rover and, opening the door, shoves me into the car before getting in after me. He locks the doors and turns over the ignition. I give up, crossing my arms across my chest and huffing like a child. "I fucking hate you," I seethe through my teeth.

"I know," Harry's voice breaks, and his hands loosen around the steering wheel as if his world had just crashed down around him. And in that moment, I realize what I had said to him. In that moment, with those four powerful words, I reminded him of all of the shit that he did. Suddenly, heat rips through my entire body. Desire for this man- this broken, crazy, over-protective man- pools deep in my stomach, and I want him. I really want him. Before Harry gets the chance to shift gears and throw the vehicle into drive, I launch myself at him. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me as I smash my lips onto his. He's taken aback at first momentarily but soon recovers as his lips begin to move in sync with mine- his tongue slipping in at just the right time, gently caressing mine. Harry's hands move from the steering wheel and onto my waist, pulling me on to his lap, and I straddle him. His lips move from mine and he starts kissing down my cheek and jawline. I move my head to the side, allowing him every inch of everything above my shoulders, and I moan slightly. I can feel Harry smile against my skin as he moves his lips move further south, and he kisses down my neck, sucking here and there. The pleasure is indescribable, and the desire- oh, the desire- is overwhelming. I want- no, I need Harry. I need everything that he has to offer. I need him- on me, inside me. I need him touching me, kissing me- everywhere. I need him cuddling me at night when I can't sleep or when something so damn shocking or awful happens- like tonight. I need him to be the one who holds me and hugs me when I just need somebody to cry on. I need Harry. I moan, the need for Harry completely overwhelming me, igniting my desire for him as he leaves love bites all over my neck and collarbone. I lean back against the steering wheel to give him access to everything below, but the sound of the horn blaring startles the two of us, and I jump. Harry laughs at the cause-and-effect and gently slides me off of his lap. "Maybe later, yeah? Right now, let's just get back to my place," he smiles at me.

I flush crimson and nod. "Don't want Zayn killing two people tonight," I giggle.

Harry frowns at me, his hands back on the steering wheel, and he awkwardly laughs before throwing the vehicle into drive. "Yeah."


Harry's house is something I did not expect. It's big- really big- and I'm assuming that he lives alone considering that I haven't come across his mum or sister yet. If they live here, they must not be home.

"I know it's a little big. I mean, you haven't seen the place in years, and since then, I've added on to a lot, but it's still home," he smiles at me as he leaves the foyer and enters the living area with me.

"It's great," I utter, completely baffled by the view. Is this really the same house that I saw a few years ago, not long after Harry and I met? It's stunning. The walls are painted a sort of off-white color- ivory maybe- and the sofa and loveseat are black, with two off-white pillows on each end. The room seems much bigger than I remember. With curiosity in mind, I pad my way across the room and into the kitchen. Yes, he's expanded- the kitchen is much bigger now. There is an island in the middle, a rack hanging above with various cooking instruments hanging from it. At the end of an island is a sink, directly across from the stove. On the left side of the stove, the countertop begins and extends- lengthy enough for four or so people to stand there, side by side, and cut various ingredients- and all of the countertops are made from granite.

Wow- I trail my fingertips along the edge of the countertops and smile. I turn back around to face Harry- standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame, smiling at me- and I pad across the room and stand in front of him. I grab him by the back of the head and pull him down to me. Our lips touch, and for the first time, I notice the electricity that runs through me at his touch. It's electrifying. I deepen the kiss and press my body fully against him, making him moan, and I take the opportunity to slip my tongue into his mouth. My tongue crosses his and immediately, he caresses it before fighting for dominance. I smile- leave it to Harry to want to be dominant even in such a moment like this. He slides his hands down from my hips to the bottom of my thighs, lifting me up. He wraps my legs around his waist and starts walking back into the living area.

After what feels like an eternity of passionate kisses and walking, Harry finally lets me down on a.. a bed? When the hell did we go up the stairs? Harry removes his arms from around me. I lean up on my elbows and watch as he pads over to the door, locking it. "Just in case," he smirks as he turns around. I nod, completely understanding. I mean, what if Zayn comes looking for me and bursts through the door like some maniac? Well, he would probably kill Harry- or try to, at least- but he's got to understand that he has to let his little sister grow up and that she can make her own decisions when it comes to her private life. Sometimes, Zayn's a little paranoid when it comes to me and my whereabouts and the things that I'm doing. Just like an older brother, my subconscious smiles. Yeah, I smile, just like that.

"What are you thinking about?" Harry interrupts my reverie. He's now sitting on the bed beside me, his legs tangled together at his knees, dangling off the side of the bed. He's supporting his weight on his hands as he stares at me, emotion filling every millimeter of his eyes.

Oh. I flush crimson. "Nothing."

"Nothing? Really? Are you sure you're not thinking about me- maybe what I am going to do to you?" he smirks, and leans closer to me. And just like that- all my thoughts of my brother vanish and are replaced by thoughts of Harry. "You're not maybe thinking about the way I kissed you in the car?" He leans even closer to me, leaving two little kisses on my neck. "The way my hands skimmed across your body?" He lifts his right hand from the bed and, placing it against my upper-torso just beside my breast, he skims it down my body and stops when he reaches my hip. "The way I wanted to touch you before the horn went off?" He slides his hand even further down and cups my sex, making me intake a sharp breath. "The things that I was- and still am- dying to do to you?" His fingers dance over the fabric that conceal my body from him before he slips his hand into my jeans, cupping my sex again on the outside of my knickers. Oh my god. "Hmm.." he murmurs, smiling against my skin in approval. "I think that's exactly what you were thinking about- you should feel how wet you are." I gasp at his words. Who knew he had such a dirty mouth? Who are you kidding? You love it, my subconscious sneers. Oh yes, I do.

"Harry," I moan. I can feel him smile against my skin, and he encircles me in his arms and pulls me on to his lap. Like earlier tonight, I'm straddling him again. He smiles at me and leans in, kissing me. It's not rough like before, but instead, it's soft and gentle and passionate- perfect. He loosens his grip around me so that his hands find my waist again, and he grabs the hem of my shirt and pulls it up- breaking the kiss momentarily- and over my head. Before he gets the chance to lean back in again, I reach for his shirt and remove it, tossing it aside onto the floor. Within a nanosecond, his lips find mine again in that same sweet manner, and I smile against his lips, making him smile. I can feel him fumbling with the button on my shorts before he tugs at it, unzipping them. He slips his index and middle fingers into the waistband on my shorts on either side, and I lift off of his lap enough so that he can pull them off without breaking the kiss. He pulls them down to my ankles and I kick them off. Once he removes his hands from the pair of shorts that are now at the end of his bed, he slips his fingers into the hem of my knickers and pulls them down my legs, repeating the same action. I'm left in my bra, and he is still wearing pants and boxers- no fair. I reach down and fumble with the button on his pants, accidentally brushing against his hard length.

Oh my. I gasp and break away from the kiss.

Harry takes in my worried expression and laughs. "What's wrong?" he coos, pushing loose strands of hair out of my face and behind my ear.

"N-nothing," I stutter.

"Hey," he coos, his hand leaving the loose hair and moving down to my chin, tilting my face up to meet his. "I know that you've been through a lot, but I promise you that I will not force you into doing something that you don't want to do. You know me better than that." His eyes search mine for some kind of emotion, but all that I can see is a deep, beautiful shade of green looking into my hazels- which I'm sure are probably a dark grey at the moment.

"I know," I breathe. "I don't think that- I know that you won't force me into doing anything. I just-" I look away, not wanting to look him in the eye. "I'm scared you might hurt me," I mumble lowly.

"Hey, I'm not going to hurt you. I know I have before but that was to protect you. Yes- I know, that's an ironic way of protecting you but I didn't have a choice. It was either that or watch you die." What does that mean? "Stop over- thinking." He kisses me and I fall back into the trance that is Harry Styles. "Now," he begins. "I believe you were about to discard my pants," he smirks.

I smirk. Oh yes- his pants. He lies down on the bed, crossing his arms behind his head, and I bravely fumble with the button again before tugging his pants down his legs. He helps out and kicks them off, and after discarding them onto the floor, I can't help but stare at his bulge that is restrained beneath his boxers. Bravely, I lean forward and wrap my hand around his length over the boxers. He hisses and I look up at him before I take in a deep breath and build some newly-found confidence. I yank his boxers down, immediately freeing his erection and, leaning down, I engulf him into my mouth. "Fuck," he seethes through gritted teeth. I take that as his approval and I wrap my hand around what won't fit into my mouth, palming him as I bob my head. An idea strikes me and, carefully, I gently use my teeth along with my tongue and lips, earning a throaty moan from him. Beneath me, I can feel his body tense up, and I know that he's close. "Stop," Harry moans. I remove my mouth from his length and wipe my mouth with my free hand. "I want to fuck you now," he says as he roughly pulls me up towards him and pins me underneath him on the bed.

Harry's lips are immediately attached to my neck as his hands reach around my back to unclasp my bra. I arch my back off the bed so that he can have better access, and he unclasps it and blindly slings it across the room. He removes his lips from my neck and leans up to look down at me, and that's when I realize that Harry has never seen me naked. Embarrassed, I flush crimson. I cross my arms across my chest, acting as if they're a shield that nobody- not even Harry- can see through. "Hey," he frowns. He grabs my arms and, slowly, he removes them. Leaning down, he plants a swift, chaste kiss on my lips. "Don't cover up," he murmurs against my lips. "You're beautiful."

"Even with all of these bruises on my body?" I query.

His frown deepens. "Even with all of the bruises that shouldn't be on your body," he assures me.

I smile up at him, making him smile. He leans down and, again, kisses me. His lips are soft and taste like peppermint- gentle against mine as if I were completely fragile. I can feel the bed shift as he moves, resting his weight on his forearms that lie on either side of my head. He presses his body against mine completely- chest to chest, skin to skin, heartbeat to heartbeat- and it's completely sensational. I am completely wrapped up in Harry. I feel his tip at my entrance before I feel a sharp pain tear through me. Suddenly, tears pool in my eyes, and I remember the first time that I felt that same pain in the same area in the same way, and the tears reluctantly fall. "Kaitlynn?" Harry asks, panic filling his voice. I feel him pull out of me- the pain vanishing- and I'm immediately pulled into his arms. "Ssshhh, calm down. It's okay, I've got you. I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you. Never again," he soothes as he rocks me gently back and forth in his arms, running his fingers through my hair. I curl up in his lap and press my head against his chest, my hand spawled out right beside my head. I marvel in the way that Harry can calm m down by one simple maneuver- the way I've always wanted him to. Suddenly, all of the events of the last 24 hours play through my head- the stressful and mind-blowing meeting with Isaac, the long day at the studio, the exhaustful recordings, my father, Zayn's reaction to seeing our father, Harry dragging me out of the house and forcing me into his vehicle, the moment between Harry and I there and here, when Harry said he would rather join in on the shit rather than watch me die. What did he mean by that? And what did Zayn do after Harry dragged me out of the house?

"Harry?" I sniffle.

"Yes, love?"

"What did you mean when you said that you were protecting me? That you were forced to do the things you did because you didn't want to watch me die?"

I can feel Harry tense up and I know that he's scared about telling me. Seconds- maybe minutes- pass before the silence is broken. "I can't tell you, not now- not today. You've had such a long day. Please, don't add me to the list of stressful shit."

I can't help but smile and laugh softly. "You're already on that list," I whisper.

"Oh," he frowns.

"Yeah," I look up at him and smile. "You're always on that list." His face falls- literally- and I swear that I can see the hurt in his eyes, along with a few tears wanting to fall. "Hey," I tilt his face up to meet mine and I stare into his sad eyes. "Trust me when I say that it's a good thing." I search his eyes for something. I don't know what, but I search. He smiles and a small tear escapes the corner of his eye and I quickly wipe it away. "Aren't you supposed to be a man, Harold? What happened to Mr. I-Don't-Cry-I'm-Harry-Styles?" I tease.

He laughs and I feel at ease, all of today's tensions and worries finally falling off of my shoulders because of one simple laugh from the man I love.

"Kaitlynn?" I hear my brother call out from downstairs.

"Shit." I jump up from Harry's lap and silently jump around the room trying to pull on my clothes. "Coming!" I shout to my brother. Reaching down, I pick up Harry's boxers and throw them in his face. "Get dressed before Zayn comes up here and kills you," I whisper-yell.

He laughs and shakes his head. "Whatever, love."

As I reach the bottom of the stairs, I immediately see Zayn. I run over to him and throw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He winces and mumbles a really low "ow" but wraps his arms around my waist and buries his face into my neck. "Hello, princess."

I laugh and sniffle at the same time, a few small tears escaping my eyes. "Hi." I pull away from him and, for the first time since he's got here, I pay attention to the damage on his face. He's got a bruised cheek, a black eye, and a busted lip. Judging from his reaction when I hugged him, he's probably got some busted ribs too. "You alright, Zaynie?" I ask, examining the marks.

"Nothing a little rest can't fix," he smiles down at me. I swear, his smile could end world hunger and stop wars.

"What happened?" The concern in my voice is evident.

"Eh, he tried to put up a fight. Things got a little out of hand there for a while, but everything's fine now." He encircles his arms around me once again and kisses the top of my head. "Everything's fine."

Everything's not fine. My father, whom I'd presumed to be dead for what- five years?- has showed up in mine and Zayn's house. How is he still even alive? Actually- the more important question- why is he still alive and why have I not been informed of this until recently?

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