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Exasperated, that's what I was- am. My pride that was once stored within me has now vanished into billions of particles, dissolved and evaporated into the mass air that surrounds me. Lifeless: nothing more, nothing less. I lay, placidly, willingly, acceptingly, though, my body is no longer belligerent; it's given up.
My name is Kaitlynn Malik and this is my story.

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21. Chapter 20.

I awake in my room, head pounding. My eyes search my room's interior but all is empty. I peel my duvet off of me and notice scratches smeared across my legs. I remember the intense feeling of my chest tightening as I slowly suffocated. I remember the memories replaying themselves in my head.
I remember Liam strangling me as I gasped for air.
I remember Louis sexually harassing me.
I remember Niall pinioning me.
I remember Harry.
I remember Harry's expression as he tagged along with the others each time he hurt me.
I remember them all abusing me.
I remember Louis, Niall, and Liam attempting to rape me, Liam succeeding.
I remember Zayn, clueless to every cut, every bruise, every scratch, every emotion, every feeling, every thought, and every detail.
I remember it all.
I wish that I would have permanently forgotten all of what had happened after I told Liam no, but there have been good memories, too.
I remember them smiling at me, genuinely.
I remember laughing with Harry as he cuddled me while we watched movies.
I remember Niall teasing me because he swore that I "ate too much."
I remember Louis picking on Harry because he liked me.
I remember Liam trying to be genuine with me, apologizing, even if he didn't mean it at the time; it's the thought that counts.
And suddenly, every good memory overpowers every malevolent memory as I remember how the boys have changed. I stare down at my hands, clasped tight, and I take a few breaths.
The boys have changed.

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