I woke up to the familiar room. Another failed attempt of ending this madness. Why can't I just win for once? Just once I want to not wake up in my bedroom after another failed attempt to to end this nightmare I call life.


1. Chapter one

Chapter One


Destiny's P.O.V

          I woke up to the familiar room; Another failed attempt of ending this madness. Why can't I just win for once? Just once I want to not wake up in my bedroom after another failed attempt to to end this nightmare I call life. I slowly got out of bed light headed from dehydration. I grab a bottle of water from my side table and slam it, letting the moist, cold water slide down my throat. I make my bed, pulling the covers up, and flattening the pillows, so there is no mistake. I walk to my mirror, looking at the mistake looking back at me. I pick at my self, I grab my fat on my thighs and stomach. Why do I have to be so fat? I'm disgusting.

              I go to the bathroom; brush my teeth, and comb my hair, hating every little thing about me. I walk back to my room pull on some sweat pants on, to hide my fat legs, and slide some slippers on, and head my way down stairs. I was greeted by the same lovely family I have always lived with. "Ah I see you finally got off your lay ass." My grandmother said, looking up from her book. "Destiny why do you have to be so fat and lazy? Gosh mom, can we just abandon her, she's worthless." My brother spat at me. But I just ignored and walked to to cabinet, grabbing a mug. "Shut up D'vante, treat your sister with little respect she deserves." My sister said, laughing. I fill my mug up with water and put it in to the microwave, not saying a word. I sat on the bar stole and waited for the microwave to go off. I was snapped out of my world when I heard my other shout something. 

            "Who the fuck ate the chicken that was in the fridge?! THAT WAS MY LUNCH!" I gag at the thought of eating chicken. "It was Destiny! I saw her eat it last night!" My sister yelled. Liar. "Is that true Destiny? Did you eat my chicken?" She questioned me with anger. I look over to my brother and sister, they looked at me with disgust. I know I didn't eat it, but I look like I did, and I deserve to be treated like I have. I looked back at my mother, and slowly look down at my fingers. "Yes." I said with little energy I had. I saw the shadow of my mothers hand flying up, I quickly flinch at what was about to happen. 

             Her hand met with my cheek with a sting, and a loud slap. I quickly blink away any tears and look up at her, showing no emotion.. "I'm sorry, I was just so hungry. I promise I will never do it again" I say, trying my hardest not to show misery. "Destiny.. I'm sorry." She hugged me and rubbed my back. I wanted to believe she was, but she wasn't, she never was, and never will be; she has always meant everything she has ever done, and I've deserved every hit I have ever gotten. "It's okay mom." I give her a lose hug back when the microwave went off. We let go and I grabbed my hot water and walked up to my room. 

             It was a rainy day in London, like always. Once I got to my room I grabbed my blanket and went to sit on  my window seat. This was my favorite part of my life, other then my cat, baby sister and best friend.  My window seat allowed me to watch everyone in London walk by, and be happy. I liked to watch as the rain droplets drip down the window, it helped me to clear my mind. I sat there and watched everything going on out side of my home. I was soon greeted by my kitten, Vincent. He jumped up on my lap, walking up on my chest, he started to mess around with my hair. "Oh Vincent, why can't everything be perfect again?" I said as I pull him off my chest, and on to my lap where I petted him.Vincent wasn't much of a kitten anymore, I had gotten him for a christmas present from my dad when I was Six.

                As you must of guessed, my name is Destiny. I am sort of, the middle child of my three siblings, D'vante my younger brother, and Trinity my older sister, who's 20 and Beth the youngest of us all, she was just a baby, and my light and joy. My mom, Celeste, was a single mother, who was left alone with 3 kids when she lost her job (Beth happened from one of her hook ups years later). But my grandmother swooped in and saved us all from the streets. My family has a strong view on how life should be, and I don't agree with it, thats why I have been treated as the odd ball my whole life. Well there's that and the fact that I think it's my moms fault he, my dad, left. See my family was once so happy, I've always been a daddy's girl so me and him had a special relationship. We all would go to church every sunday, and every Wednesday I would go to youth group, and once a week we would have movie night, and every year we would do something that we've never done before. It was perfect, like a dream family. But my mom lost her job, and she started to go drinking, and clubbing, and thats when she started getting abusive, this happened when I was 7. My dad, he couldn't take it, so he left, he tried to get us out of the situation, but my mom had a good lawyer, and always seemed to clean up her act when needed to. My perfect, dream life, turned in to a nightmare within a blink of the eye. 

              Now some stuff about me; I'm 17 years of age pretty tall for my family, 5'7. I have long brown hair that fell right down to the middle of my back, but you would of never known because I always have it up or in a braid. My eyes are the only thing I like about my self; they're a green/grey, but as you get to the outer side, there is a dark, bright, green circling around. My skin was fair, pale, and I hated it. Luckily I was blessed with not bad acne, so I never really have to worry about that. Then there's my body, my fat, fat, worthless body. People would call what I have 'Anorexia' I call it taking control. I've been 'Anorexic' and depressed/a cutter for almost 6 years now. It has destroyed my life, but I don't know who I would be without it. The only person who knows this about me is my best friend, and only friend, Tori. 

           Tori is actually really short, she's about 5'4, and 18 years of age, I like to tease around with her and say stuff about her height, but she doesn't mind. She has long black hair same length as mine, and also like me, she almost always has it up or in a braid. Tori was adopted from China when she was just an infant, she has always been insecure about it, but she looks beautiful. She is so petite, and has always been at least 40 pounds under weight. She also is 'Anorexic' we don't encourage one another, or try to make the other stop, we just treat it normal, like a way of life. Tori and I have known each other for as long as I remember, pre-school I think it was? But the point is, Tori has always been with me, we are inseparable.

                 Once I finish my hot water, I go and get changed for the day. It was holiday so there wasn't much planned today, me and Tori just had work, then we where free for the rest of the day. I pull on a pair of dark skinnies, and a large, worn out, mint green sweater that covered most of my fat. I then did my hair in a braid down my back, and makeup on my face. Altho I think I am hideous, I still barley put any make up on. When I'm finished with that, I grab my pair of black Vans, and headed out the door. I was half way down the stairs when I remembered that I forgot my phone, and my name tag. "Shit why do I have to be such an idiot!?" I say to my self, trudging back up the stairs. I find my phone, name tag, and head phones. As I was down the stairs, and out the door, I try my hardest to hide my name tag. My grandmother would beat me if she see's I have a job. Luckily I wasn't seen.

       I walked over to Beth and looked at her; she had a bruise on her check, probably from my mother, she was crying last night. I picked her up and hugged her, putting her asleep. "Shhh don't worry baby, we are going to get out of here soon, don't you worry we will get out of this place, just hold in there." I whispered in her ear. I set her down in her crib and kneeled down. "You'll like that won't you!" I said smiling to her, and tickling her. I looked at the time, and kissed her head "gotta go babe" I said to her and slid my way out the door.


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