Ashes Ashes - Shadows - being edited

Ashes Ashes we all fall down
Everyone have secrets. Nixies are just a little big bigger than everyone else's. She cannot remember them, but she knows they are there and they must not be revealed.
She's from a world were humans are the unnatural weirdos and Immortals run the world.
When the Order sends a warrior to fetch Nixie, that's when things get complicated.
She's now forced into a tale of hate, love, death and not to forget a battle for survival.
What are you going to do when your supposed cover is blown, and daddy want's his little girl back?
But what's life without a little blood and gore when you're a heartless killer?

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3. Chapter 2 – Monsters don’t exist

Chapter 2 – monsters doesn’t exist

Ashes Ashes we all fall down

As a child my mother always told me about how monsters didn’t exist. How it was only their shadows that clouded their minds, making them do things they didn’t want to.

She said that it was the males that we should be afraid off, not the so called monsters.

I believed her. But I had my own version of that now. The monster is inside everyone, their shadows are always there, whether you want them to or not. And if they want to get out, you can’t stop them. Even if you are of the most powerful race in the whole universe, which would be the Immortals, you couldn’t do shit about it. You couldn’t exactly kill the person it happened to, there could be complications with doing that. After all The Three would have to take it up and might even end up giving you some kind of sentence because you killed that person. But hey in the end they would just have gotten one of their warriors to do it. So it was just community service with a death sentence on.

But as I laid on the floor, feeling the cold seep into my body, slowly like a snail, but painful as poison.  I thought about the general thoughts of life. Thoughts like ‘will someone ever find me?’ ‘Will she ever find me?’ ‘Does she even care?’ ‘Will I ever experience love?’ ‘I wonder if this floor was made so hard just for the sole reason to annoy me…’

You know all those really basic annoying questions, those who would suddenly attack you when you least need it.

All those things that just pop up from your sub consciousness and just attack you without a warning, making you want to crawl into a hole and just die.

That’s where I decided to get up and not sink into the madness that I left once upon a time. I picked myself up, brushed the dirt on my leggings and on my black oversized shirt off.

Wait a moment…

Tall houses surrounded me, tall and dark they leaned over me as though they were going to crash on me. They were old, dark, broken, and abandoned. I looked down myself and saw that I wasn’t in my PJ anymore, but instead very tight leggings, black with white skulls, that oversized shirt, which stopped under my bum, and black converse with studs on the sides. Weird…

As I looked around, the world had never seemed so small, so tiny…

A weird feeling occupied my mind, like something wasn’t right. I could have told myself that without the feeling. I found myself in an alley surrounded by abandoned warehouses… of course something wasn’t right!

Well… I was here now, so why not look around? I mean Amelia wasn’t here to lecture me or tell me not to do it. Not that I ever listened but I might as well have a little fun.

So I walked towards the road, my hand brushing over the decayed bricks, making them crumble under the soft touch of my palm, as I walked towards the not so dark road.

All the memories that were embedded in the bricks, every stone held a story, a tale of some kind, they tickled under my hand, as I absorbed them, sucked their power out of them. Their life.

Suddenly feeling a strong surge of power flow through me, filling me up, making my head roll back as I gasped for air. A confident smile covered my lips as I stepped out on the open street.

Extracting power from memories had always been one of my mysteries powers… These memories could be embedded in everything. Sometimes I just wish my powers were not mysteries to me, and I actually knew what I was capable of before my defence mechanisms kicked in.

With a sigh I looked around the deserted streets, and started walking towards the pull. I let myself get pulled towards whatever caused of it.

I had no idea about what it actually was and what it had to do with me. Maybe it was something that had something to do with my past.

I wished it was that… because when I really thought about it I just wanted all of this to be over and solved. No more mystery and no not being able to remember shit about my past. I still agreed with the whole ” It’s easier to not know and forget, than it would be if I knew and couldn’t forget.” But I wanted to know. I felt like I needed to know... I couldn’t even remember who I was.

The cold air blew my hair into my face, and I suddenly wished that I had a hairband to control it with… and a jacket, a warm and cosy jacket.

I snapped my fingers and my leather jacket landed with a silent thump in my stretched out hand, as I pulled it on, the hairband twisted my long hair into a bun on the top of my head.

Oh the sweetness of magic. It made it way too easy to multitask. What would I do without it?

A sigh escaped my lips once again … I would be normal without it… human.

I picked my mental self up from the ground and started to delete my thoughts. One by one.

 If I had to survive I had to be calm and give off the vibe of a heartless killer, who if you disturbed my peace, she would blow your head off.

Sad, but true. There was no other way

As I focused my cold eyes on the worn out concrete road, I began to wonder if this place was completely disserted or if the underlying, simmering black magic were just something that were left behind.

I doubted it.

Deleting my thoughts only worked on the outside, I was unable to really control them and for some reason I think that made me more… human… ish.

As the darkness took over the streets, one inch at a time, the moonlight pulled out all the bums and social outcast, such as addicts and gang members.

Hmm… it didn’t really surprise me that this was one of those neighbourhoods.

I really need to find new fields to jump around on… can’t really keep coming back to these slums.

Oh well… life goes on. Sometimes… most of the time. Not really…

I could practically hear Am scold me for thinking these negative thoughts. Not my problem anymore. She wasn’t here. So she didn’t get to scold me about it anymore.

Not even in my thoughts. Was she seriously turning me into a crazy person just because she left my side?

Hmm… crazier person? I mean I’ve probably always been crazy.

“Well, well, what have we here?” a sickly, rasping voice said and made me stop up. I met the cold dead eyes of a junkie, who’s only goal in life was getting his next fix. The old, tattered clothes hung of his bony body. His chin and cheeks was covered in a thick layer of dirt and what probably was a beard. I couldn’t really tell what his normal hair colour or the colour of his beard.

A pang of sympathy shot through me, but I killed it before it even got to settle.

The sad pathetic rest of the sympatric feelings for the man were taken away, by the icy chill that took over my body when he grabbed my arm.

Looking like an upper-class girl wasn’t the best idea when you went for a casual stroll around in these kinds of neighbourhoods.

I met the grey eyes of the desperate man, and for once in my life wished that I didn’t have to make a kill.

Also that thought got killed and taken by another wave of his icy cold.

“Remember the eyes” as the words left, he got a glimpse of my real eyes. As terror took over his body, mind and soul, with a fluent motion I let my finger slide down from his temple to his chin, ripping his tattered soul out of his used up body.

His grip on my arm loosened and he hit the concrete with a whispering bump, like a ragdoll.

My hand hovered over the body as the black matter seeped out from within him. I sucked up the remains of his broken soul and as I absorbed the power, the black flames danced in my eyes.

I rolled my head back and looked at the darkened sky with a sigh.

So damn good. I licked my lips as if I could taste the soul. I couldn’t, but in that moment I might as well could have. The black energy coursed around in me and made me feel powerful again.

I stepped over the body and walked past a whole curious faces. One brave enough to yell at me.

“Monster!” that one hit hard, it always did.  I met the eyes of a women similar to the mans, they were bloodshot but the same grey none the less.

Her clothes were in the same shape as the man’s, tattered and used up, and her long reddish hair hung in filthy dreadlocks down to her chest. She should really consider taking a nice long shower.

“We stopped looking for monsters under our beds when we realised they were inside of us. So if I’m a monster, then so are you my dear human” the way my voice became one of an underworlds, a being with an unidentified race, it sent chills down my spine. Wow… I just scared myself a little bit.

Impressive.

Her eyes were hooded and I wanted to feel bad for her. She had lost someone, like I once lost someone. The crazed look in her eyes, seemed all too familiar, but somehow I just couldn’t feel that feeling.

I let the force within me stretch out with its thousands of slimy arms and touch all the nearby minds, I wiped their memory. I deleted every memory they had of ever seeing me, ever hearing of me. I basically deleted the last hour from their memory.

It was the easiest.

Except the woman, I deleted every memory of her brothers death. So she ended up only having the good memories of him. She would think that her brother had run off with the woman of his dreams. I made them turn around and walk into the worn out warehouses, so I could walk alone in peace and quiet.

So I did just that. I walked towards wherever I got pulled.

I don’t know for how long I walked or how long it took me to get to the point where my feet actually hurt. My feet never hurt. Another perk that came with being me. Physical pain was hard to come by.

But as I walked I couldn’t help but think; I just killed another one. Another one to the batch.

I felt sick by the fact that I didn’t really feel any pity or regret over taking that man’s life. Was I really this cold? Had she really made me this way?

Both of them. Amelia and her… They made me this way. Unable to feel any kind of sympathy, I had to walk alone, only for everybody to leave me one after the other.

I guess that was just my fate. To walk alone and never find the answers I wanted. To never know who I really was, where I belonged or where I came from.

Only a life with unanswered questions. Perfect life I must say. 

I rolled my eyes over myself.

Seriously, why did I have to be so melodramatic? Guess that came with being an underworld, filled with unusable strength, destined to walk the lonely streets in search for answers but never getting them.

I didn’t even know how old I really was! I only looked like a sixteen year old because of the heavy shimmer spell that Amelia put on me! But it was me who held it up, kept it rolling. I couldn’t let my real looks come up and ruin everything. They would find me then, for sure!

Who they were or why they wanted me, I didn’t know. But that’s why we were always running. Or why I’m now running. The high council wanted Amelia dead for being a powerful Trihydra, but we didn’t know why they wanted me.

Maybe for being an underworld? For not knowing what I was or which race I belonged to. I swear the high council was more obsessed with races than Hitler had been!

Yeah… WW2 and all that had been imprinted in my brain. It had been horrible times, and when I had to teleport Amelia out of Auschwitz, that’s where we made a deal to never ever get caught by anyone ever again.

That was really the worst time to live in Europe. Such good memories

But ooh well… life goes on… and on and on and on.

Sometimes I wished it wasn’t like this, that I could just drop dead and never stand again. But life was a bitch and I rarely got what I wanted.

However, I’m not complaining, or at least I try not to.

“Are you lost little underworld?” a deep, masculine voice interrupted my endless stream of thoughts.

My head snapped in the direction of the sound and I found yet another pair of grey eyes this night. No… These were silver.

Glowing liquid silver. 

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