Newbie Reviewies

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AA

3. ADOPTED by smithep200

 

Movellian: smithep200 [http://www.movellas.com/en/people/profile/201308200916327216]

Movella: ADOPTED [http://www.movellas.com/en/book/read/201308271007465809]

 

Positives:

-The protagonist has a clear personality which is portrayed really well in the writing 

-The nacho plate thingy picture on chapter two made me really want to eat nachos

-The description is in depth in places where it's necessary 

 

Improvements:

-Paragraph more and make sure you do a new paragraph for every new speaker 

-Put punctuation and capital letters in necessary places (the easy way to do this is to put your story through a word processor like Microsoft Word ,which will show you where punctuation needs to go, then paste it back onto Movellas)  

 

Overall thoughts:

I like the concept of this and how nicely the story flows, however with a couple of tweaks it could be even better!

Rating out of ten: 6/10

Review done by Enya Sanders.

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