Learning to Trust

*Sequel to Different From the Rest*
Kady is grown up now. She is now eighteen, a far cry from fourteen. There is no One Direction, if you asked your kids about them they'd be like "are you high again?" Kady's stutter is long gone, but the fears from it will never surrender. Being alone, forgotten, useless. Mainly she can't trust, anyone, not others around her, not herself. She makes a mistake that can't be fixed, and must go on with her life. Kady has to learn that you must leave the past behind you before you can move forward and not all mountains can be moved. It's a bowl of cherries, with a few-no many, nuts thrown in.

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19. Running Away

When I wake, I stretch my fingers out needing to feel Liam's warmth. He's not there and I remember what happened yesterday. With my last ounces of strength, I walk outside the door to where I can see the kitchen. Liam's there on the couch, he's sound asleep, his chest moving in and out. I walk into Nadi Drew's room. She too is sound asleep. I look on her clock, it's 4:29, a lot earlier than I thought. This is my chance, my chance to run away with my daughter from Liam. But where would I go? I look at her on her princess inspired bed, can I really pull this off? But what would happen when I die? Even if my will says else wise, Liam would have full custody over her. I can't trust Liam taking care of a child by himself. I'm afraid he'll abuse it or something. I take one of Nadi Drew's backpacks and I start to pack. There is some hope I'll stay alive. I put in only what's necessary, clothes, toothpaste, brush, blanket ect. When I'm done, I put the backpack on the foot of her bed and I go into my room and pack. I pack a little more for myself, clothes, toothpaste, brush, jewelry, books, movies, laptop, phone. As I pack shoes my shoes, one pair catches my eye, my black pumps. The ones I would only wear on special occasions, Lou's birthday bash, my wedding, the honeymoon. These shoes, so insignificant, means the world to me and I don't know how that's possible. I can't leave Liam. Wait, what am I saying, I have to leave him. It's my only option. It's what's best for Nadi Drew. But what about this ring? I glance at my left ring finger. This is a promise that I belong to Liam. I could easily just take it off and leave it on the bed and forget about it. I can't do this. I put back everything and I go back to sleep. 

"Mommy!" I hear as I awaken from my slumber. 
"Yes honey?" I ask still half asleep. 
"It's my fourth birthday!"
"I know, four is a big number you know, it's my favorite."
"Why?"
"So many things. Like Daddy and I got married on May 4th. I met him on August twenty fourth at four o'clock."
"Why four o'clock?" Nadi Drew asks. Um, I'm at a loss for words. Liam and I haven't told her that we are famous. She doesn't need to know yet, she needs to make real friends. Sometimes when her friend's parents come over they talk about the past such as One Direction. 

FLASHBACK

"Do you still remember the One Direction days?" asks Meredith, Nadi Drew's friend's mother. We don't really know each other, but she seems fine. She implied the whole being married to Liam thing, but promised not to tell anyone. 
"Yea, those were the days," I laugh. This day was one of the few days I bothered to get out of bed. I felt some sort of light shining down on me this morning. 
"Mama, what's One Direction?" asks my daughter, her chubby three year old legs coming into view. Meredith gives me the your dead look. 
"They were a band back in the day," I say. 
"Did you like them?"
"Of coarse, everyone did. But I outgrew them eventually." 
"Did you ever meet them?"
"Yes, they were the nicest boys ever though they were much older than me," I say and Meredith giggles to herself.
"Did Daddy like them?" I don't know what to say. Thankfully, Meredith jumps in, "One of them were Daddy's old friend from his hometown in England." 
Thank you, I mouth to Meredith. 
"Go play with Didi now," I say and Nadi Drew turns around and leaves the room. 

END OF FLASHBACK

"Because, that was when your father…um that's when he went to a restaurant where I was," I say with a grin. I hate lying to her, but what other option do I have?
"Oh, then today must be a big, big, big day!" she says. 
"You've been watching too much of The Hunger Games, you sound like Effie!" I say tickling her under the chin. 
"Lets get some breakfast downstairs," I say. 
"No, me and Daddy already made breakfast for you and me," she says shaking her pointer finger in front of my face. 
"But it's your birthday."
"I know and I happy because you got up this morning, it is day of celebration for you too," she says wrapping her arms around my waist. I kiss her nose, "Lets go downstairs then."

Liam is in the kitchen preparing food, "Morning Kads."
"Morning, thanks for breakfast," I try my hardest to be nice. 
"Welcome, happy birthday Nadi Drew."
She smiles a little smile and sits down at the table, waiting for Liam to serve her. I sit down next to her, my legs feel like jelly. Liam serves bacon, hash browns, cantaloupe, biscuits, and of coarse, pancakes.
"You haven't forgotten all these years!" I say. Liam nods his head, "That's Pancake Monster!"
I laugh, those were the days. When I was young. Well, I'm still young, twenty one and Liam's twenty seven. Nadi Drew and Li dig into their food while I cut up my food into tiny pieces and I eat them slowly. 
"Are you okay, Kads?"
"Yea, just not feeling the best, but it's okay, this is Nadi Drew's birthday!" I smile, but it feels like someone just punched my stomach. This is all your daughter asked for, do it. 

When we finish, I pick up Nadi Drew, "Lets go shopping today honey, Mommy and Daddy's special treat, okay?"
Nadi Drew nods her head as she gets off me and runs to her room to get dressed. 
"Are you sure you can go to the mall?"
"If it's the last thing I do, Li."

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