Learning to Trust

*Sequel to Different From the Rest*
Kady is grown up now. She is now eighteen, a far cry from fourteen. There is no One Direction, if you asked your kids about them they'd be like "are you high again?" Kady's stutter is long gone, but the fears from it will never surrender. Being alone, forgotten, useless. Mainly she can't trust, anyone, not others around her, not herself. She makes a mistake that can't be fixed, and must go on with her life. Kady has to learn that you must leave the past behind you before you can move forward and not all mountains can be moved. It's a bowl of cherries, with a few-no many, nuts thrown in.

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28. Preview Chapter 1

Liam's POV:

I lean over her dead body and tears stream down my face, "No! Why? Not her!"
El tries to comfort me, but nothing will help, and I mean nothing. Half of my heart has been taken away, torn, trashed, left for the wild dogs to eat. I woke up holding Kady's cold hand and when I look over to her, she looks pale, lifeless, and still. I pry her fingers out of my hand and I run to get a doctor. Just five minutes later, they confirm she's dead. It's unreal, fake, just a prank.  The reality of this is still sinking in, and I'm sure it never will. You hear stories about people dying, but experiencing them and hearing are two completely separate things. You can't feel the pain and fear and lost in a story. There's only so much of an affect a single pen can have on you. 
"Are you okay?" ask El again, making small circles in my back. I shake my head, I'm not. She's already contacted everyone to come, and they're on their way. But, I don't want people to come, I want to be alone. I want to go to bed, curl up in a ball, and just forget about this suck, twisted world we live in.  How can I explain this to Nadi Drew? She thinks that dying is a good thing. How can I explain to her that dying isn't a good thing without scaring her? She thinks Heaven's a wonderful place. I think Kady and I  taught her wrong. It's better to live than die, and she doesn't understand that. I'll have to tell her one way or another. 

"Ow! Stop pulling at my hair! I liked it better when Mommy did it!" screams Nadi Drew next week. I'm trying to brush and put pigtails into her hair, but she has so many knots and I'm pulling out clumps of it.
"Well Mommy's not here, suck it up," I say harshly. 
"Can you call Heaven and ask if Mommy could come quickly to do my hair, it won't take long, God will understand?"
"It doesn't work like that. Just tough it out, today is Friday. Tomorrow is Saturday. If I really need to I'll get you your own hair stylist. We just need to get you to preschool."
Never will I ever get her a hair stylist. Too much valuable money would go to waste at something I can do pretty decently. Sure, Nadi Drew's dirty blonde pigtails are lopsided right now, but it's adorable, no one will care. What's up with all this religious stuff? Oh yeah, Kady. Almost every sentence that comes out of that kid's mouth has something to do with God. Just shut up already! I have more important things to listen to now.  Things I never thought I'd do in life are now necessities. Take a child to preschool , loose the one I've loved most in life, leave my past behind. Being a single dad is a big change. No more fun time, no more drinking. I reduced how much I did those when Nadi Drew was born, but in occasions I did. Now I'm the only one looking after my daughter, so I'm her only role model. Nadi Drew sits down in her cubby in the mudroom and I put on her black Mary Janes. She tugs at her pigtails, well, it's the best she will get. 
"Get in the car now babe," I say. She jumps up and taking her backpack, runs out the door. I sit back on my heels. How on earth am I going to be able to pull this whole parenting thing off? It was much easier with Kady around. Nadi Drew runs back in almost as soon as she goes out, "What are we doing later today, Daddy?"
"Well, we're going to your mother's funeral," I say plainly. But it's not that simple and plain inside my head. People will be talking about my wife, and quite frankly, no talking needs to be done. We all knew Kady and that she was a great person, no ceremony is needed to show that.  That simple. 

"Are you sure?" I ask the preschool teacher one more time. 
"Yes, I will call you if your daughter is acting strange or anything due to her mother's death," she replies with a big, fake, smile on her orange skin. She looks like an Oompa Loompa. 
"Bye Nadi Drew, I'll pick you up at three," I say kissing the top of her head. She hugs me back, "Bye Daddy-O."
I wave goodbye and I go into my car and sit down to observe what's going on. My phone vibrates and it's Tommo:

To: Liam Payne
From: Louis Calder-Tomlinson

Hey hows nadi drew? She ok @ skool?

-Lou

To: Louis Calder-Tomlinson
From: Liam Payne 

She looks fine r8 now but im gonna stay 4 a few more minutes 2 c. 

-Liam

To: Liam Payne
From: Louis Calder-Tomlinson

Kk what r u doin 4 kads funeral?

-Lou

Honestly, I haven't given it much thought. I doubt she even asked for me to speak. She probably chose Eleanor, Lena, and Niall. Most likely Niall out of the three because her daughter and sister are both obsessed with him and she love them both. She has this connection with close family and friends, they could persuade her to jump off a cliff. Now me on the other hand is something completely different. It was as if she never wanted me to be around her. I could never get her to do anything I wanted. And, she flips out at me over little things like not making Nadi Drew's dinner, big deal! You can whip up some oatmeal in five minutes tops with no problem. A child can wait five minutes to be fed. To be honest, I don't even know if I'm going to Kady's funeral. 

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