Learning to Trust

*Sequel to Different From the Rest*
Kady is grown up now. She is now eighteen, a far cry from fourteen. There is no One Direction, if you asked your kids about them they'd be like "are you high again?" Kady's stutter is long gone, but the fears from it will never surrender. Being alone, forgotten, useless. Mainly she can't trust, anyone, not others around her, not herself. She makes a mistake that can't be fixed, and must go on with her life. Kady has to learn that you must leave the past behind you before you can move forward and not all mountains can be moved. It's a bowl of cherries, with a few-no many, nuts thrown in.


20. Birthday

"Here, here!" Nadi Drew points to a toy store. 
Alright, lets go in," says Liam as he guides her in. Her eyes grow wide as she takes a look around the store. She doesn't know where to start, but eventually settles on the Barbie isle. As she looks around, Liam turns to me, "Are you sure you are okay, Kads?"
"Better than I'll ever be, now lets just have fun, it's Nadi Drew's birthday."
I look on the opposite side of the isle. This is a sad isle, doctor Barbies, President Barbies, Olympic Barbies. 
"I want this one!" Nadi Drew yells. Liam and I turn around to see what she is pointing at. 
"This one looks like Daddy," she says. It does look like Daddy because it is Daddy. I guess this place decided to resell the One Direction dolls for some odd reason. Nadi Drew squints at it, "It is Daddy, I know it, it is Daddy!"
"No it's not, this doll was in a band. It's just someone who looks like Daddy," I tell her. Liam chews on his lower lip, this is the day we get busted. 
"What were you jobs then?" asks Nadi Drew. Liam makes things up, "Your mother was a model and I was a runner."
"Why haven't I heard of you two?"
"Because our names aren't very well known."
"But of the box it says Lee-yum."
"Different Liam, he was one of Daddy's best friends in England," I jump in. 

We pay for some toys, then we head to Starbucks. 
"That was close," I whisper into Liam's ear. He nods his head and continues to hold Nadi Drew's tiny hand. 
"I said can I take take you home with me, she said never in your wildest dreams. And then we danced all night to the best song ever, I knew every line but now I can't remember how it goes but I know that I won't forget her…" plays the mall's speakers. Nadi Drew's ears pick up on the song instantly, "Oh, Daddy sings this song everywhere! Who songs this very song?"
"One Direction," I say. 
"Can I see one of their music videos sometime?"
"No!" I almost yell. I'm in one of the music videos for a song on Midnight Memories and if Nadi Drew recognizes me, then she'll be able to put all the pieces together. 
"Sorry," she murmurs. 

"What else do you want for your birthday?" I ask taking a sip of my frap. 
"For you to get better Mommy. I'll return everything we bought just for you to get better," she says, her brown eyes wide. 
"I'll try, anything else though?"
"No, I wanna go home and watch movies with you and Daddy," she says. 
"Okay," I nod my head.  

"Sit down," Nadi Drew instructs Liam and I. We sit down on the couch as she puts in a DVD. 
"What movie love?" Liam asks. 
"It's a surprise," she says. I make cocoa for everyone, then I sit back down. 
"Now this is what I call a movie," Nadi Drew says. The screen comes to life and our wedding video comes on, "Now Nadi Drew, we really don't need to watch this."
"Yes we do Mommy," she says. I roll my eyes and just watch it. It's like a fifteen minute long video, how bad can it be? When I watch it, I cover my eyes from the embarrassment, there I am rocking back and forth at the alter looking like an idiot. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nadi Drew looks very engaged while watching this. Her feet are curled underneath her and she tucks her knees to her chest. Liam looks at the video with no problem, it's normal. Then again, he isn't the one that looks like an uncontrolled giraffe. I look over at Nadi Drew again. She reminds me of me when I was her age.  I'd put my arms in my shirt and told people I lost my arms. Would restart a video game whenever I knew I was going to loose. Slept with all the stuffed animals so none of them got offended…had that one pen with four colors and tried to push them all at once. Poured soda into the cap and acting like I was taking shots. The hardest decision was choosing which Nintendo game to play. Waited behind a door to scare someone, then leaving because they're taking too long to come out or you had to pee. Faked being asleep, so I could be carried up to bed. Used to think the moon followed my car. Watching two drops of rain rolling down the window and pretending it was a race. Went on the computer just to use Paint. The only thing I had to take care of was a Tamagotchi. The only 'fake' friends I had were invisible ones. I used to sing in the shower (Now? I make life decisions in there now). Swallowed a fruit seed and I was scared to death that a tree was going to grow in my tummy. Getting bruised knees heals better than a broken heart. And when we were kids, we couldn't wait to grow up, what the hell were we thinking? 

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