My Journal

My life is one big mess of tangled up headphones.

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21. The fun age of 17

Okay so I'm seventeen and have been for a few months now and what I've discovered about being seventeen is that it's a great age to be. You don't have the responsibilities of being eighteen yet but you're different from being sixteen and you can do more and it is so damn fun. For the last couple of months I have been having lots of fun, I've been drinking and getting drunk quite often with friends and I'm making some good memories.

Although I've been at school for about three weeks and to be honest it's killing me, I'm really struggling and it's been making me feel like everything is bad again. I'm starting to resort to hiding away in my bedroom again, and sitting in bed either watching a movie and just being on my computer. I can't even get myself to do my homework or study and that's what I'm worried about, I really need to be doing it because it's year 12, my last year of high school so I keep trying to tell myself that it's just one more year, that I have to work hard for just this year and that's it, I'm done but it's just so much harder than that especially with how I've been feeling. I'm just confused about so many things and I don't know what to do or think.  

But I think that I need to get some of my life together now, otherwise it will have been a waste and I will regret not trying harder. I need to clean my desk and make a clean and clear space for study and homework. I also need to make a homework schedule that I will stick to. I have to get myself together because it's now or never, maybe I'll have to stay up late and be tired, I may have to miss out on that movie I feel like watching and I may have to feel like I can't go on but I am making a promise now that no matter what happens and no matter how I feel, I will go on and I will win this battle and I will own this year like it was my creation. 

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