My Journal

My life is one big mess of tangled up headphones.


12. Nervous thoughts

So I started my new job two days ago and it was better than I thought. I only stuffed up three things mainly. I was so scared that I would hate it and it was going to be horrible but it's actually not. But that has not stopped me from feeling so nervous about it all. I do not even know why really, I think I am scared that I will hate it after a while. I just really hope I don't because I need this job and I'm not going to quit. The people are nice and it's all quite simple. Even when I am serving a customer I don't panic much, like it's just oh yeah I'll get that for you and I'm not panicking and if I don't know something I just ask. But then again I have only worked a total of nine hours. I'm working Christmas eve which isn't that bad although it's til eight so i'll be home late and will have to wait to open some presents because at home we open the presents from our family on Christmas eve. 

I'm tired and it has been really hot today. I'm working 4-8pm tomorrow which kinda sucks because I will spend all day thinking about it. Also I will be working with my cousin which is scaring me because it's going to be embarrassing if I stuff something up. Anyway I guess I will get through the day and I have been trying not to think about it. I need to learn to take one day at a time and not worry about tomorrow because there is nothing I can do. And I keep trying to think that in years, even months all this won't matter and it would have been worth the nerves and panicking because I got money and it's over. But it's not that easy, but I am trying because in two years and three months hopefully I should be in London. That's what all this is for, everything I do is for it so at the end of the day all the pain and suffering I have done is worth it. 

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