Broken (Harry Styles FanFic)

***Preview***
Part of me wanted to walk up to her and wrap her in my arms because as much as I hated her for making me feel this way; I also hated watching her cry. But the other part of me, the part that was build up with rage and pain, just wanted to walk away from all of this and never turn back.
I wasn't sure what part I wanted to listen to, so I just took a deep breathe trying to control my anger and took a few steps towards her. I tried my best not to hold her in my arms and whispered, “sometimes broken things can't be fixed, Monica.

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35. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

 

“I always knew that you were in love with him,” Keaton said.

I could see the disappointment in his eyes as I began to tell him about Harry and how I was just afraid to let Harry in and he was afraid to let me in. I explained to him everything that happened with Harry and I from the beginning and he just sat there not saying a word. He listened and nodded in between, but never said a word.

“I am thankful for you being there for me Keaton and I would be lying if I said that I never had feelings for you because I did. That night you kissed me I realized that there was a world besides Harry, but I guess...”

“My world wasn't enough,” he finished.

I looked down ashamed of myself for ever thinking that this would be easy, “No I guess it wasn't.”

“I understand Nicky. Like I said I always knew you had feelings for him. I just thought that maybe you and I were getting somewhere and that you were somehow getting over him.”

“I was,” I said, “But then he came back and we worked things out and it's just hard to let go of him.”

“So I guess this means goodbye,” He sighed and stood up from the table.

“No Keaton. Not goodbye,” I said standing up and reaching for his hand, “I still want to be friends.”

He looked down at the hand that was holding his and then looked back up at me. He pulled his hand away and said, “No Nicky. I don't think I can do that. I just need some time away for awhile. My feelings for you are real and they are strong. I don't want to be your friend,” he paused, “I want to be your Harry.”

“Keaton I'm–”

“I know,” he interrupted, “It's not your fault. I just feel like I need a little bit of space.”

“Space? We work in the same place. You can't avoid me,” I said.

“Actually I think I am going to go to California for awhile,” he said, “My cousin lives there and he has been asking me to visit him. I think it's time for me to try something new.”

I could help but feel so guilty about all of this. I don't want him to have to go away because of me.

“Keaton no. I'll quit my job. You don't have to go to California.”

“No don't do that. I want to go. It's my decision to go. I was going to go whether you felt the same way about me or not.”

“But I feel like it's all my fault,” I said taking a step towards him.

He took a step back and said, “It's not. We can't help who we love.”

I sighed. It was true we can't help who we fall in love with, but that didn't mean that I still didn't feel guilty about all of this. I know that he is heartbroken. I can see it in his eyes.

He took in a deep breathe and then said, “Goodbye Nicky. Ill see you when I get back I guess.”

“And when will that be?” I asked.

“I'll be back to start school in the fall.”

I nodded and he just walked away with out saying a single word. A part of me was aching because of this. I was happy, yet I was sad and disappointed. I really like Keaton, but I guess that wasn't enough for me. I wish I could have prevented this.

“Hey,” Bethany softly called touching my shoulder and making me turn to face her, “Hey don't cry.”

I hadn't even realized I was crying. She pulled me into a hug and that's when the tears began to pour down my face.

“It's ok,” she spoke softly.

“I think I just lost a good friend,” I said.

“You didn't lose him. He just needs time to himself. He'll be back,” she said as she pulled me away from her.

She handed me a tissue and I dried my tears with it. Bethany has been a good friend since I've met her. Keaton and her have been there for me and were my first friends since I’ve arrived here. It's hard to think of hurting them or even losing them. Right now that is what it feels like. It feels as if I just lost someone I genuinely care about.

“The sad part is that if maybe Harry wasn't in my life I think I would actually have fallen for him.” I said.

“Maybe you would, but I know for a fact that Harry and you are something special.”

I smiled at the sound of his name. My love for Harry is something I’ve never felt before, but I wished that I didn't have to hurt Keaton in order for me to be with Harry.

Bethany let out a deep breathe then wiped my tears with her thumb, “Now you have to go on and get ready because Harry has something special planned.”

“I can't I have to close up,” I said taking in a deep breathe to compose myself.

“No you don't. I'll close up.” She smiled and then began to push me out the door, “Now go on and have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.”

 

 

When I got home I quickly ran up and took a shower. When I got out of the shower I began to rummage through my closet trying to find the right thing to wear, but nothing I owned felt right. It would help if he was telling me exactly what we were doing or where we were going. After making a complete mess of clothing everywhere I had given up and just through myself on the ground. I felt like just pulling my hair out and crying. I had absolutely nothing to wear.

I stood up to try and find my phone. I had to just cancel on Harry since I had nothing to wear. I walked over towards my bed when I noticed that under the pile of clothes I had made there was a big white box. I rushed into my bathroom to take a shower that I must have missed the box that was sitting here on my bed. I opened it and there inside was a beautiful black and cream colored dress.

There was a note attached to the dress that read:

Saw it and thought of you. See you soon

Love H

 

I smiled and admired the dress. I've never seen anything this beautiful before. It was a laced strapless dress that fitted me perfectly. It was long and had a slit that gave it a bit of edge. It was both classy and edgy. It was the perfect dress.

I quickly strapped on my heels and then checked the time on my phone. Harry should be here and moment now. I walked over to the mirror to finish applying some lipstick. I took in a deep breathe taking in the sight in front of me. I would have never guessed it was me in that reflection. I looked so different. I was glowing and the smile on my face just wouldn't go away. After my mother's death I would have never thought that I would feel this happy again.

The sound of the doorbell startled me and it was as if the sound had ignited the butterflies in my stomach once more. I took in a deep breathe and walked down to open the door.

I gasped as Harry came into sight. He looked absolutely amazing. He was wearing a dark tuxedo and held a single rose in his hand.

He held up the rose to cover one of his eyes and I stared at him confused.

“I can't stop staring at you,” he said.

“Why? Do I look funny,” I began to panic.

“No actually quite sexy. I knew that was the dress for you. I just didn't know it would have this affect on me.” He said bringing the rose down and handing it to me, “For you.”

“Thank you Mr. Styles,” I said blushing at his last comment.

“Anything for my Nico,” he said extending his hand for me to take it, “Shall we head out now.”

I nodded taking his hand and just that simple touch raised the goosebumps on my skin.

He opened the car door for me and gestured for me to go in.

“Such a gentlemen,” I said.

“Only for a well respected woman like you,” he said in his low husky voice.

I smiled and stepped in the car. I watched as Harry came around and took the driver's seat next to me.

“You know I am still not used to seeing the driver's seat on the opposite side,” I said as Harry turned the car on.

He laughed and said, “That is how I felt when I went to America, but I got used to it.”

I nodded, “So where are we going?”

He smirked and ran a hand through his hair. God how loved how he did that.

“It's something special I put together.”

The rest of the car drive was silent. I kept looking around hoping to figure out exactly where he was taking me, but I had no idea where we were. It was foolish of me to actually try and figure it out since I was still not very familiar with the city yet. I mean when I lived in California my dream was always to come to England and roam the streets of London city or have a relaxing day out in the town of Cheshire. I always used to go on google maps and just view the city streets and get familiar with it, but being here was completely different from seeing it on my computer screen. Now that I think of it, ever since I arrived at London there hasn't been much of sight seeing or getting to know the city.

“What are you thinking,” Harry asked.

I turned to him and smiled, “I just thought that I've been here a couple of months and I haven't really seen much of London.”

He smiled, “I'm sure I can fix that.”

He then took my hand and brought it up to his lips trying to keep his focus on the road. I noticed he began to lead up to a road where there were no more city lights. All I was able to see were trees and more trees. I could hardly even see the road in front of us. There was some curves and that's when I realized we were head up a hill or mountain of some sort.

“Harry, this looks very sketchy,” I said.

He just laughed and said, “Relax Nico. I am not going to kidnap you or anything.”

“Being kidnapped by Harry Styles. Well I would be honored. Any girl would die for the Harry Styles,” I joked.

“Very funny, but you are not just any girl,” he said turning to look at me, “you are the girl.”

I looked down at my hands nervously fiddling with my fingers. I was blushing a crimson red and I knew he was having a meal out of seeing me this way in front of him. It was just so hard not to feel all giddy and shy when I am around him.

“We are here,” he said and I looked up to try and see anything, but all I saw was trees and more trees.

He stepped out of the car and walked around to open the door for me. I stepped out of the car and my heels immediately sunk into the muddy ground making me trip, but Harry was quick enough to grab me.

“Harry if we were having a picnic then I would have worn something more appropriate for this,” I said holding on to him.

“And miss seeing you in this dress? I don't think so,” he smirked, “besides I thought of every single detail Nico.”

He carefully turned me so that I faced some trees that if I looked carefully formed a path.

“I hope you like it,” he whispered and as if on cue a bunch of Christmas lights went on creating a path through the woods.

I gasped as the lights came to life and revealed the wooden platform covered with white rose pedals.

“See I put in some floor for you to walk through,” he said.

“It's beautiful Harry,” I said.

He placed a kiss on my cheek before whispering, “We haven't even gotten to the best part.”

I smiled wondering what else there was in store for us. He grabbed my hand and lead me through the path. I was so amazed at how beautiful everything looked with the trees and the lights and all the rose pedals; that I wasn't even paying attention to where Harry was leading me. When I turned and looked forward I was taken aback by the scene in front of me.

“Oh my god,” was all I managed to say.

We were at the top of some hill where I was able to see the entire city underneath us. He had set up a table for two with candles and a small wooden dance floor besides it. There was a violin player playing a soft beautiful symphony as everything came into view to me. It was all so beautifully organized.

Harry pulled out a chair and gestured for me to sit. I took the seat and looked out at the city lights.

“Harry this is amazing,” I said.

“I am glad you like it.”

“I love it.”

He smiled and poured me a glass of champagne. We ate a delicious dinner and even had an amazing ice cream cake desert. Everything he arranged was just perfect. We laughed and talked having the best time.

“Do you want to dance?” He asked as I took another sip of champagne.

I put my glass down and answered, “I'd love to.”

He walked around the table and took my hand leading me to the dance floor. The violin player kept playing the beautiful music and Harry and I swayed back and forth. The wind blew making the night colder, but I felt warmer in his arms. It was perfect. It was as if it was just the two of us up here and the noisy world beneath us didn't exist.

It was as if the twinkling lights of the city were nothing but just that, twinkling lights. All of the people that were living down there running up and down the streets were nothing compared to the person that was holding me in his arms right now.

“Nicolette,” Harry whispered and my heart began to race again.

We stopped dancing but the music went on. He held me in place pressing me against his body and all I could feel was the butterflies in my stomach fluttering like crazy and my heart was racing like a horse rushing to the finish line.

He placed a hand gently on my cheek and I took in a deep breathe hoping to fill my lungs with oxygen so that I wouldn't pass out.

“I love you,” he whispered leaning in towards me, “would you be my girlfriend?”

His lips were inches away from mine, “Yes,” I answered against his lips and leaned in closer for them to touch.

The music kept playing and the busy people in the city continued rushing up and down the streets, but in that moment the only thing I could feel was the touch of his lips against mine and the immense love that filled my heart.

“I love you Harry Styles,” I whispered against his lips.

He smirked and whispered, “I love you Nicollette.”

 

 

 

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