Broken (Harry Styles FanFic)

***Preview***
Part of me wanted to walk up to her and wrap her in my arms because as much as I hated her for making me feel this way; I also hated watching her cry. But the other part of me, the part that was build up with rage and pain, just wanted to walk away from all of this and never turn back.
I wasn't sure what part I wanted to listen to, so I just took a deep breathe trying to control my anger and took a few steps towards her. I tried my best not to hold her in my arms and whispered, “sometimes broken things can't be fixed, Monica.

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22. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Harry's POV

“Why did you do that Kaya?” I yelled not really caring who heard us.

“I always kiss you like that Harry,” she said wickedly smiling.

I knew exactly why she did it and I couldn't help but feel like it was wrong. I shook my head and ran out of the cafe to find Nicollette.

“Harry wait,” Kaya yelled.

I ignored her and kept running. I saw Nico walking away with her books in hand. She was walking pretty fast and was about to reach the end of the street.

“Nico,” I yelled and she stopped, but she wouldn't turn around.

“Nico,” I yelled again and I watch as she slowly turned to look at me.

I began to run faster trying to get to her as fast as possible before she turns around and walk off again.

When I finally reached her I took a good look at her. The sun beams made her hair glow and despite her natural roots showing she still looked beautiful. I've never noticed how radiant she was and despite her pale skin the sun still managed to make her skin glow.

“What Harry,” she said and I could hear the annoyance in her voice.

“She is not...we are not,” what I am trying to say here?

“You don't have to explain, Harry,” she said.

She is right I don't have to explain anything to her, but why do I feel like I owe her an explanation?

“Then why are you so upset?” I asked.

Her eyes grew wide and she tried to speak but he she couldn't find the words. I knew I had caught her off guard with that question, but I had to know why she was so upset about Kaya kissing me. She had no reason to be upset about this. We were nothing. We were not dating and had nothing going.

“I...i am not,” she answered, but I knew she was lying. I could see her clenching up her fists as she fights back the urge not to slap me. She was upset that was clear, but she didn't want to admit it. She took a step forward towards me and for a second there I thought she was going to kiss me, but she didn't. She just took a step away from me and unclenched her fists, running her hands through her hair. She looked down at her feet trying to avoid my gaze.

“Good,” I said and she kept her eyes down at her feet, “You shouldn't be because you are just a girl I fuck when ever I am horny.”

Shit. Did I just say that?

Her eyes shot up looking at me and I could see them begin to water. There was anger in her eyes and I could tell that she wanted to cry. Her fists began to clench up again and her chest began to rise and fall faster reminding my perverted mind that she did the same thing right after she came undone underneath me.

I didn't mean to say that to her, but this was getting too serious. I wanted to apologize to her but doing that would only mean I am making things worst for me instead of making them better. I was beginning to grow too attached to her it wasn't right. She made me feel alive again, just like Monica used to make me feel, and I was afraid that that will only bring in the possibility of falling in love again.

This was all wrong.

I could feel myself getting pulled by her and I don't want to feel this way, so the first thing that popped in my head was to hurt her before she can hurt me.

“You're right,” her voice cracked.

She closed her eyes and I watched as a lone tear escaped from her eye. I had to fight back this urge I had to wipe that tear off and apologize to her. She then slowly turned around without saying another word and began to walk away. That was it. She just walked away without saying anything else or with out even slapping me across the face. I should have at least deserved a beating from her, but she did nothing.

I stood there watching her walk away and I wanted to go after her again and take her in my arms, but I couldn't. It wasn't right. I had to do something to get her out of my head. We had to stop this. As much as I want to keep seeing her come undone underneath me and have her run her hands through my hair as I trail kisses down her neck; I couldn't. There was no way we can continue to do this anymore.

“Harry,” I heard Kaya's voice from behind me.

I hadn't notice that I was still standing there in silence staring out to the empty street where Nico was once walking on.

Kaya placed her hand on my shoulder and I watned to brush it away, but I suddenly realized that maybe Kaya was the answer to my problems.

I turned around to take a look at her and she placed a hand on my cheek before asking, “Are you ok?”

I smiled my best fake smile then leaned in and kissed her lips trying to forget about Monica...Nico. I wasn't sure anymore. All I was sure about was that I would have to use Kaya to be able to forget about this feeling. With Kaya it was just sex and nothing more.

“Would you be my girlfriend?” I asked as I pulled away.

“What?” she asked shocked.

“This offer only comes in once in a life time,” I said.

“Yes. Of course,” she answered and placed her lips onto mine. She smiled into the kiss and I could feel her excitement as she ran her hand through my hair. The feeling was not as great as when Nico did it.

I wasn't sure what I had just done, but I knew that it had to be done in order to order to forget about Nico.

Kaya kissed me once more and suddenly the clouds turned gray and the rain soon had us drenched. She pulled away and I looked up at the dark sky wondering if I wasn't making the right choice.


 

Nicollette's POV

When I got home I was drenched because half way to my house the sun decided to hide out and let the rain come through. It was almost as if it knew the sun knew that my days of happiness were coming to an end. Because those small moments I had with Harry were that. They were small moments of happiness. They were the days I felt more like myself and forgot all about the pain I felt when I lost my mother. Sure what Harry and I was nothing more than just meaningless sex, but I knew or thought that there was something more between us.

I was foolish to think that there was more because Harry made it clear as day that I was just another girl he liked to fuck.

I ran up to my room and quickly changed out of my wet clothes. Harry's words kept playing in my head and I was trying my best not to think about him or what he said. I knew he was right. I was just another girl he fucked when ever he was horny, but in my head it was more than just that. I thought I was actually getting to know him the way no other girl has had the chance to get to know him. I was wrong and that was what hurt the most.

I threw myself onto my bed and looked up at the ceiling trying to distract myself from just thinking, but nothing seemed to be working. I groaned feeling hopeless and stood up to grab my ipod. The one thing that always seemed to help me out was music. No matter how down I am and how hopeless I am music is always there for me.

I put in my earphones and laid back down onto my bed closing my eyes and trying to drift into the lyrics of Taylor Swift. I tried my best not to let this emotional cloud of disappointment take over me, but the music and the overwhelming feeling of hurt that I felt was too much. I could feel the tears beginning to escape my eyes and all I wanted to do was crawl underneath my covers and never come out because I felt stupid. I was seen as a fool and it was ridiculous to feel this way knowing that I had this coming from the beginning.

I turned to the side looking over at the empty side where Harry would usually stay right after he would roam my body with his hands leaving traces of his fingerprints along my skin. I felt so used. I knew that this was just fun and games, but to hear him say those words to me it was almost as if he was calling me a prostitute.

I could feel my phone buzzing and I reached under my pillow to check it. I watched as Harry's named flashed on my phone indicating I had a text message.

Taylor Swifts lyrics were filling my ears, “You call me up again just to break me like a promise.”

It was almost as if she was warning me about what I was about to face.

I opened up the text message and read : Our deal is off. I have a girlfriend now and we can no longer continue this. 

 

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