Broken (Harry Styles FanFic)

Part of me wanted to walk up to her and wrap her in my arms because as much as I hated her for making me feel this way; I also hated watching her cry. But the other part of me, the part that was build up with rage and pain, just wanted to walk away from all of this and never turn back.
I wasn't sure what part I wanted to listen to, so I just took a deep breathe trying to control my anger and took a few steps towards her. I tried my best not to hold her in my arms and whispered, “sometimes broken things can't be fixed, Monica.


13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Harry's POV

The scared expression on her face was still clear in my head as I yelled at her to leave. I didn't mean to scare her, but she was ,along everything so complicated. Every girl I have ever been with since I changed my ways has never said no. Most of them have acted shy and have given me a little bit of a hard time, but at the end they always gave in. They gave in because they want to sleep with me as much as I wanted to sleep with them.

Nico is the first to actually push me off and actually stand up. It's not that she doesn't want to sleep with me because I can tell that she does. The way her body was reacting to my touch told me everything I needed to know. She wanted me.

My problem with that was that I think I wanted her too. I don't her the way I've wanted the other girls I've messed with. When my skin touched hers it gave me a sense of warmth inside of me. It was not just sex. It was more than that.

The first thought that popped in my head was Monica. I remember that being with her was the best yet worst part of my life. The way I felt with her was so amazing. With Monica it was love. Wasn't it? It felt like love.

Tonight my first thought was to get Nicolette to sleep with me. When I pulled her away from that guy all I wanted to do was mess around with her for a bit. I wanted to take her home with me and do exactly what I knew to do with every other girl that I take home with me. When she stopped me at the door of the club and told me that she was no one night stand; I felt like laughing and telling her that she was trash. I wanted to insult her, but I didn't. I saw her begin to walk away and all I thought was that I had to do anything to stop her from walking away from me. So I invited her to just talk.

I've never actually just talked to a girl before. With Monica we never actually had time to talk. We were always sneaking around and we would only talk when we were hanging out with our friends, but we never talked about anything personal. We never actually talked about our likes or dislikes. I just remember the feeling I got when I was with her and that was all that mattered to me. Now with Nicollette I am not sure what it is that I am feeling.

Nicollette wanted more than just a one night stand, but I am not sure if I can go through that again. I can't go through the heartache that comes with a relationship. I just can't. I am not even sure if that is what she wants, but she when she asked me what we were doing; I wasn't sure what to answer.

At the moment I thought that all I was doing was just trying to sleep with her, but then when she asked me that I was thinking that I wanted to see her again after we slept together. As soon as I thought of being with her again I got scared. I didn't want to be in a relationship with her. Or did I?

No. I can't. I can't risk having any feelings for her. I have to stop thinking about her. All I need is to go back to how I was before. I have to stop thinking about her and all these stupid ideas of possibly having an actual relationship.

I stood up from the couch and grabbed my car keys. I drove back to the club hoping to find a distraction. When I arrived at the club neither of the guys were there anymore. I went straight to the bar and began to order some drinks. I took one drink after another not really keeping count. The clear burning sensation of the substance felt good as it went down my throat. With every drink I took I began to forget. Forget about Monica and forget about Nicolette.

“Hey Harry,” a female voice said to me.

I turned around to take a look at who it was. I couldn't remember her name, but I did sleep with her once...or twice. I couldn't remember and the alcohol was not helping me either. I was completely intoxicated and I could care less what her name was.

“Hey,” I slurred then took in another drink.

“You don't even know my name do you,” she asked.

I rolled my eyes and said, “No and I don't care.”

“Well lucky for you I am just bored, so what do you say we go back to my place again,” she said.

She placed her hand on my knee than slowly traveled it up my thigh. I rose an eye brow, then looked at her. She had my absolute attention now. She leaned in close to me then placed her lips right below my earlobe.

“Let's go baby. I can make you forget about whatever is bothering you and has you here drinking alone,” she whispered.

She took my hand and I followed her out the of the club.


Nicollette's POV


“How was your night last night?” My dad asked as I poured myself a cup of apple juice.

That was a complicated question to answer too. I actually was having a good time last night until Harry turned the cards on me and started acting like a total ass hole. I really thought that maybe he had changed and that he had finally had let go of his past with Monica, but apparently I was wrong.

“Um it was good. I made some friends,” I said.

“That's great honey. Did you hang out with those boys from that band,” he asked.

I laughed then answered, “No I didn't go with them, but I did bump into them there.”

“Interesting. I have actually been googling them and they are pretty high up in the celebrity food chain,” he said.

“Celebrity food chain?” I asked raising an eyes brow.

“Oh you know what I mean,” he said, “anyways how is it that you know them again?”

“My friend Ella met Zayn one day and then one thing led to another and they fell in love,” I answered taking a sip of my orange juice.

“That is interesting. So this Harry boy. I think that's his name. The one with the curly hair?” He asked.

“Yeah,” I answered curious to what he was about to say next.

“Are you two an item?”

“An item?” I asked.

“Are you dating or something?” He asked.

“What? No! Why would you say that,” I asked.

What was up with my dad today. He was googling One Direction and asking me about dating Harry? My dad really needs to stop drinking so much coffee. I think it is starting to effect his brain.

“Well I saw the way he looked at you when we bumped into them at the airport,” he said, “I just wanted to tell you to be careful with him. I didn't read a lot of good things about him.”

“Dad trust me we are not dating. He hates me and stop reading rumors. Haven't they told you not to believe everything that is on the internet.” I said putting my cup in the sink.

“I know. I know. I just wanted you to be careful,” he said.

“I will dad. Don't worry about Harry. He is not even my friend. We have a complicated relationship...I think.”

I wasn't sure what it was that I had with Harry. I wasn't sure if I was his friend or his enemy. Or maybe I was just the girl he wanted to sleep with. I had to admit it did hurt when he told me to leave, but I was not about to sit here and mope around about it.

It's not like I want a relationship with him. I don't quite believe in relationships. I mean how could I when my father and mother were divorced.

I know I told Harry that I didn't want to be his one night stand and I don't, but I don't think I want a relationship with him either. What I do know is that he sparks things inside of me that I never felt for anyone else. The touch of his skin against mine electrifies my whole body. I wanted to feel the touch of his skin again, but I am not sure what it would lead to.

What if this attraction towards him is more than just a sexual attraction. I was ready to just give in last night, but the thought of him being with random girls kept creeping back in my mind. I kept telling myself that it was fine because a lot of guys do that, but the more I tried to tell myself that it was fine the more it began to bother me. When I was with him I didn't want to feel like I was just a random girl at the club. All I wanted was just to be his friend. I never wanted it to get as complicated as sex. Especially because I knew he was still in love with Monica.

I could see it in his eyes. That is the reason why he always feels the need to drink and sleep with random girls. He is afraid of getting hurt and so am I. 


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