Sweet Brasil

6 brazilian friends.
One of them move to London to work. What she doesn't know is that her life is about to change. (ok, that's cliche...)
This is not a normal fic, here, the girls don't see the boys in the first chapter, they don't fall in love for each other and kiss in the second and third chapter.


21. 20.

(Chapter song: What Now – Rihanna)


                On Friday I separate everything I needed and put on my suitcase, leaving it inside my wardrobe. I put all my documents into a small binder and hide it too.

                Alice and Louis had a small discussion on the phone. I knew it was gonna happen, I just hope they don’t let this come between them.

                The boys didn’t come on Saturday so we decided to clean the house and spend some time together. A few hours later Louis called Alice to say he’s sorry for what he said and they’re ok now. We chose our accessories to use with the dresses and went for a shower. 21:45h (9:45PM) we were ready, but as usual, the boys were late about… 20 minutes!

                They arrived and we went to the party. We met Zayn and Perrie and the girls from Little Mix there. I said hi to everybody. I know it’s strange but I don’t think Perrie knows that her boyfriend is kind of… lost with his feelings. It’s not her fault, she’s a nice girl. He’s wrong. I went to the bar, grabbed some drinks and came back to dance with the girls. A few hours later, Perrie said she was leaving with the girls. We all left the party laughing and making jokes.


                [PLAY THE SONG]


                I had a few drinks but I was sober. The girls entered the limo and left me on the window seat with Zayn by my side (of course!). We turned on the radio and a familiar song by Rihanna started playing.

                Nice… this song and him by my side was all I ever wanted for a farewell party (but no!). This song says a lot about how I feel. I was trying to forget all of my problems. Sometimes I just wanted to scream, to break everything… To say to everybody what I was feeling, but no… I stau quiet.

                I’m in the car, looking the streets through the window with him by my side. I want to hug him tight. I feel his hand close to mine, but I can’t hold it! I can feel his eyes on me, but I’m afraid to look back at him and I can say everybody notice how I’m feeling. I’m trying my best no to look, not to cry, not to say I love him and want him by my side forever…

                This is my last chance. I’m going to stay some time out of London, I won’t see him. I want him, I love him… Well, at least I think I do. I’m tired of being so confused!

                Tomorrow at this time, I won’t be here anymore, I won’t be able to see this 11 people every day and laugh with their jokes. I won’t have him by my side, he’ll be free to finally stay with her, and he won’t need to choose between us two. Of course I’ll come back, but until this day, he’ll have made up his mind and this isn’t going to be awkward anymore. I don’t want to suffer. It’s enough for me. I think I want things to be normal for me… Love doesn’t mean only get hurt, it can mean happiness too!

                My last wish is a nice goodbye. No fights, no regret looks… I wanted everything to be easier. No pain, no tears. Just laughs!

                I think these weeks away from here will help me organize my thoughts. I’m not sure about anything anymore. I’m getting used to fake smiles and hide tears, feelings and pretend everything is perfect! Nothing is perfect… NOTHING!

                I feel like every time I pretend to be happy, I’m walking away from everybody, specially him. I spend hours and hours trying to convince myself that I’m ok, that everything is in the right place. But nothing really is. It’s not fair to get hurt because of someone else’s mistake.

                It’s hard all of this make sense… It happened so fast! But I’m happy for the girls, they’re happy. Everything is being easier for them. I just wanted to spend my last hours here without crying because of him.

                I don’t want to be seen as someone who runs away from my problems; I just feel I can’t do this anymore. Oh, great! A tear. I dry it and put my hand back down. When I do this, he holds it tight, like he knows everything that’s going on my mind and doesn’t want me to leave. I look at him and he’s staring me and for a moment, looks like there’s nobody there, just Zayn and I, but I know they’re looking at us and trying to understand what’s happening.

                The song ends, leaving a question in the air. A question I don’t know how to answer and neither do them… What now?

                His eyes were almost reading my mind, looks like something was connecting us and then, like we didn’t have any problems, he kissed me.

                I know I was wrong, I know we won’t work together, but my heart spoke for me and I kissed him back.

                What happened was that I got tired of hiding everything. I was tired of hide myself behind my smiles, my FAKE smiles.

                While we kissed, I felt like I was far from here, far from everybody.  When we stopped, we looked into each other’s eyes and smiled. With this, everybody smiled too.

                You know that smile you’ve been hiding for a long time? That’s what I’m talking about. He held my hand and we stayed together, just like the other boys and girls.

                - I like you! – He said

                - I like you too! – I smiled

                - Guys, you know you’re…

                - Mel, not today! – Liam cut her…

                - Let them be happy today! – Said Mari

                Then the driver stopped at home, the girls invited the boys to stay.

                - Stay with me tonight – he said holding me

                - Ahm, I… I don’t think it’s a good idea… - I said a little insecure

                - Bia, I think you should give you a break – said Alice – Have some fun!

                I smiled. I think going to Ireland tomorrow, I should have something good to remember.

                - Ok then… I’ll stay with you – I said smiling – I just need to go upstairs and grab my cell phone.

                - Ok… I’ll wait here.

                We went upstairs and I went to my bedroom. The girls followed me.

                - Listen, I think we should say goodbye now. I don’t know how things are gonna be tomorrow!

                We stayed looking at each other, with tears in our eyes. We gave a group hug.

                - We’ll miss you – they said crying

                - Me too!

                - You take care of us!

                - And now you have to take care of yourselves. You can do it. Promise?

                - Promise!

                - Ok, now let me go or Zayn will come here asking if I’m designing a new phone.

                We went to the living room and the boys stared

                - Were you crying?

                - Nope – Mel said with a crying voice

                - Well… I’m going – I said – But I want a hug – I said looking at the boys

                They didn’t understand very well, but gave me the hug I asked.

                - Bye girls, don’t burn  my house!

                - We won’t! – Said Emily – Have fun!

                I left the building, thinking that finally I’ll spend some time with him before leaving. I entered the car again. Zayn smiled and opened his arms for me

                - I can’t believe – he said

                - But it’s true! – I said smiling.

                He asked the driver to drive around London for some time, to see the touristic places at night. When we arrived at his apartment, he helped me get out of the car and when we arrived upstairs, he held the door for me. He locked the door and held my waist

                - It’s so good to have you here…

                - I feel the same. I couldn’t handle anymore. It kills me see you with Perrie, but I can’t do anything, some things depend on you an…. – He kissed me, making me stop talking

                - Forget about the world outside, ok? Tonight we’re here, together. Let’s leave the tomorrow for tomorrow. – I smiled. I know I’ve already decided what’s gonna happen tomorrow, but I can’t let him notice.

                He smiled, hugged me again carrying me to his bedroom. I laughed and he kissed me. He put me back on the floor and went back kissing me, turning me around to take off my dress. I blushed when turned back to him

                - You don’t have to feel this way, you’re beautiful…

                - It’s… weird, it’s been some time since I let someone go this far with me

                - Then I must feel lucky… - he said smiling

                I helped him to take off his shirt and his pants, he had his eyes on me all the time, he was sweet and gentle. I didn’t feel uncomfortable with him. His kissed my neck and things got hotter. When we finished, our hearts were beating like crazy and we stayed there for a little, enjoying each other’s company.

                - Come with me, let’s take a shower and then you can sleep – he said smiling.

                I know things were intense between us, but nothing happened during our shower. Looks like we both knew this wasn’t our last time. We left the shower, he handle me a towel and a shirt

                - You can use this… you can give me back tomorrow – he smiled

                We laid in his bed, cuddling.

                - Zayn?

                - Yep…

                - Sing to me?

                He smiled and started singing something I don’t really know what was. Sooner than I expected, my eyes got heavy and I fell asleep, but before this, I heard him saying

                - I love you… Even with Perrie, even with our fights, even if you can’t say the same now… I’ll do anything to see you smile like today! – I smiled, hugged him tightly and slept.



                Having her here is… I don’t even know how to explain! It’s like we had a wall protecting us from what try to separate us. I love her. I’m so damn sure I love her. But I can’t just break up with Perrie like this… Why? I don’t have idea… I just feel I can’t! It’s not right with her… We’ve been together for a long time. But I can’t lie… here, with Bia is where I feel safe, I feel complete. What happened tonight was like we’ve known each other for a long time! It was like we’ve been finally complete. I feel complete, I am complete. I’m happy with her in my arms.


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