Don't Tell Daddy

I'm Morgan Cowell. The daughter on the one and only Simon Cowell. I'm 18 years old. I have long brown hair, blue eyes and I'm very tan. I travel around with my dad as he is One Directions manager. I see the boys all the time. I'm not allowed to date the boys though. But here's my secret. I'm in love with Liam Payne... ;)
**please leave comments! I want to know what you think!:)"**

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5. I love you...

**GRAPHIC**

 

--Morgan

 

I grab the blade and grip it tight in my hand. The boys have been pounding on the door for at least a half hour now. They are slowly starting to give up. I grab my phone to call Daddy. I can't. I decide to text him instead.

Daddy: I love you Daddy...

That was all I could said. I broke down crying again, thinking about all of the good time times we had. All of the bad times we had. All the sad times we had. Together...we were always together. He was my rock. I think of my mother. I miss her so much. I would die to be with her again. She died from cancer about 7 years ago. I was 11. When ever Daddy was traveling for work she would always be there for me. If this goes right then I will get to see her again. Lastly, I think of the boys. I love them. Not in a boyfriend way but in a brotherly way.

 

About a year and I half ago I was really struggling. I was diagnosed with depression. I never really struggled during the day but boy did it hit me a night. I was suddenly start to see every flaw and every mistake in myself. I would do things that I would regret the next morning. Eventually I stopped regretting those things and that's when the bigger problem began. I went from cutting lightly on the surface of my wrist, to deep into not only my wrist but my sides as well. One day at school People saw the scars and the cuts. They all asked my why I did that because I had a perfect life. I started getting dirty looks in the halls and everyone would ignore me. I graduated early so I could get out. One night I couldn't take it anymore. I grabs the blades and the bottle of Ibuprofen. I made 20 cuts on my wrist and 20 deeps ones on my side. Then I took the bottle and swallowed all of the pills. The boys found me. I was almost dead. I was in the hospital for weeks. I promised myself that I would never do that again. 

 

I have never been the same sense that day. I hurt the people I love and I hurt myself. I am now more closed than ever and that's not good. I have learned over the years that my mind is a dangerous place to be in. I miss the days when I was happy. I was such a good little girl.

 

~Flashback~

"Daddy, Daddy! Push me higher!" I yell while playing on the playground. Mommy, Daddy and I go here everyday. I love it! I just started 3rd grade. I love school. I have Molly and Mel, my bestest friends in my class. We play at recess together and we always go on the monkey bars or color with chalk.

~End of Flashback~

 

What have I become? Where did that girl go? All I know is that I miss her and I wish that she would come back.

 

I come back to reality. I'm sitting in the corner of the bathroom. I stand up and look at myself in the mirror one last time. I carefully examine my eyes, my nose, my ears and my hair. I take blade and dig it right into my skin. I slide it across very slowly taking in every ounce of pain. I do that over and over again until my wrists and my sides are covered in cuts and blood. I grab the bottle of pills and I pour a bunch into my hand. I carefully sit down on the floor with my back against the wall. 

1...2...3...I take them all.

"Baby it's me." I here Daddy say from the other side of the door. What have I done?! "Please let me in. You don't have to do this. I'm here for you." He says sincerely. I scoot over to the door with all then energy I have left. I start to get dizzy and I'm about to fall over. I reach and reach then my finger tips finally feel the door. I unlock it. Daddy runs in. "Boys call 911!" He yells. "I love you Daddy..." I say in the quietest voice. "I love you too baby girl...I love you too..." He says with tears streaming down his face. Those were the last words I heard before I blacked out.

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