A Silent Love - Faberry

A Faberry FanFiction.
Rachel and Quinn have been apart for years. Both of their lives have changed and they've had successes, and failures, in their own ways. Can they overcome the years apart and all that was missed to admit the feelings that they have? Or, will they move further down different paths?


11. 'Accident'-ally In Love

I was lying on my bed when I heard my phone ring. It was on the bedside table. I was staring at the ceiling wondering what Rachel was doing and thinking of what a great Christmas this had turned out to be. I looked sideways at the phone before rolling over lazily and reaching for it. It occurred to me that it may be Rachel so I jumped up excitedly to see who it was.
Yes, it was Rachel. I took a deep breath, preparing myself before answering. “Hello, Rach,” I said nervously. I didn’t know of she’d be yelling at me or what, but deep down, I had a fluttery feeling in my stomach and it told me that it was bad news.
“No, this is Nurse Peters from the New York District Hospital,” Oh, no! This was bad. “Rachel Berry is the occupant of this phone number, yes?”  The nurse asked me. I froze momentarily, my lips physically would not move.
“U-uh. Y-yes,” I stuttered as I began. “Yes she is,” I pronounced more confidently, needing only a seconds pause.
“Thank you. She has been involved in a car accident and your number was on the screen of her phone. Would you mind coming down to the hospital so that we could get you to identify the victim?” She sounded so serious, with a little hint of compassion in her voice, though I was expecting more from a nurse, especially considering the circumstances.
“Y-yeah, I’ll be right there.” I still didn’t have a full grasp of what was happening. Was she playing some kind of trick on me as payback? This was my entire fault. If I hadn’t thought of myself, as usual, she would still be here. Not in the hospital. And she wouldn’t have tried to call me and almost get herself killed. She could be dead, for all I know. I’m not there, I don’t know and they would save that kind of information for face to face contact. If I hadn’t told her I loved her, she wouldn’t have tried to call me and she wouldn’t be in hospital.
I had brought myself a car once I got more settled and I rushed down to the street, jumping in and wasting as little time as possible.
I didn’t realise I was going that fast until I looked down at the speedo and saw the high register. I slowed quickly; images from my crash in senior year came flooding back. And if I was in a car crash that would be of no help to Rachel, two people in hospital with no one to help them. The time seemed to drag on as I drove there. Why is it that always at the worst times, time slows down? It should slow at the great moments and times that we wish could go on forever that always seem to end too soon.
After spending too long looking for a park I rushed through the sliding doors. I had no idea what level to go to or who to see, so I just headed straight to the reception desk to enquire. “I’m here to see Rachel Berry. She was involved in a… accident…” I blurted out at the lady. I was rushed and hadn’t even said hello and she seemed so cheery I felt a little bad, but they weren’t the best circumstances and it wasn’t the thing at the front of my mind.
“Yes Miss.” She tapped away at her computer, eyes scanning the screen. She must have felt my urgency and was going as quick as she could to find her name and details. “Section A, Room 13. Head down this corridor here, turn left and you’ll walk straight into it,” she gave me directions, using her arms to point the direction.
“Thank you,” I said and managed a little smile before rushing off again. I was moving at a fast pace, close to a run or a jog. I ran straight into the doorway of it as she had said I would. I looked through the window that was partially covered with slat blinds. A nurse was by the bed and blocking out most of Rachel’s body and the bed. I knocked gently and eased open the door.
The nurse spun to look at me, on alert for anyone not meant to be there. “You must be Quinn,” was the first thing she spoke to me. She is the woman that called me here.
“Hello. How is she?” I moved to her bedside, taking a place next to the nurse.
“She’s stable, and asleep obviously,” it was a short answer, but what more could I have expected.
“Is she going to be okay?” I wanted to know a bit more information without sounding too pushy.
Before she could answer, a doctor walked into the room and answered for her. “Yes. She has limited internal damage and what is evident, is minor damage and won’t cause any future trouble. She has minor head damage, no mental harm that we can tell, but we’ll know more about her condition when she’s awake.” It was another woman, a doctor and I’m guessing she was the one that took care of Rachel when she was brought in.
“When will she wake up?” I just wanted to speak to her, hear her voice and know that she’s okay. But above all, apologise and hope that she can forgive me.
“That, time will tell. It may be in a minute, or in a week. We just have to wait it out. If you’ll excuse me, I must get going. There’s much to do and little time to do it in,” she turned to head out the door.
“Thank you, doctor,” I said maybe a little too loudly than necessary. She acknowledged it with a nod before continuing out the door. She wasn’t rude in any way; she just could have been a little more compassionate than she was.
The nurse dragged a chair over to behind me and pushed it against the back of my legs gently, prompting me to sit. “Get comfortable, you could be here a while. Sleep if you have to, you look exhausted.” She spoke delicately and warmly.
“Thank you, so much. I really appreciate it.” I know she hadn’t done an outstanding amount, but she had the right attitude and was understanding. That’s exactly what I needed at the time.
“It’s okay. If you need anything call out, I’ll be around,” she squeezed my shoulders gently before slipping out the door quietly. I had turned my head to watch her leave and I spun back around to face Rachel. I didn’t move for a moment, just sat looking over her. She looked so peaceful, but the atmosphere was far from peaceful. It may have been quiet, but the tension in the air and the war raging in my mind was horrendous. My thoughts were screaming at me and it was all a blur to me. I couldn’t make out anything being said in my head, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to either.
I reached out and took her hand into mine and rubbed it gently. I inched my chair closer so I was just centimetres from her bed. I lied being close to her, but I felt distant because of something between us. Our fight had put up a barrier and I couldn’t completely knock it down until I reconciled with her when she woke up. I spoke to her, I told her about how my short time away from her had been and how even in that short time apart, I missed her like we’d been separated for years. “When you left I wondered if I’d ever see you again, but I didn’t think it would turn out like this. I didn’t mean to freak you out. I didn’t think you’d react like that. I was desperately hoping that you would feel the same and that’s why I told you. I hope you can forgive me. I’m willing to wait for you, please, please just wake up.” I begged her and noticed that I had begun to cry. My cheeks were damp and I hadn’t even noticed.
I looked at her for a while longer before resting my head down on her bed and making myself as comfortable as I could manage with the resources I had. I cried a while longer before slowly drifting off.
When I woke in the morning, I had a stiff neck and dull aching pain in my back. It was a bad way for me to sleep and I knew it would turn out that way, but did I really have a choice? Rachel was still sound asleep, no advancements on that front. I watched the regular rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. She looked quite content, she must be dreaming of something nice, obviously not me.
The nurse came in a little while later to check her vitals and I had a nice chat with her. When she left, her absence was felt and I just wanted her to come back and sit with me. I didn’t so much want someone to talk to, more someone to ease the mood and just make the overall feeling a bit warmer.
The time wouldn’t fly that day; it was like I was paralysed by it. I just wanted it to go back to the way it was before. Back before the accident, and before I had rushed into telling her. If I had waited until lunch, would this have happened? Would we be at home, her still angry, but safe?
All this played through my mind, over and over. The same questions reeling around. I was so concentrated on my thoughts and was looking down between my legs, so focused that I almost didn’t realise Rachel had woken. She told me that she was awake when she moved slightly in her bed and I looked up at that to see her eyes open.
“Hey,” I said softly, sitting up quickly in my seat, inching once again closer to her bed. She didn’t say anything, she just looked at me, not so much angrily, more expressionless really. She wasn’t telling me that she was angry or sad, it was more pain. Both physical and emotional, from the accident and me. “How do you feel?”
“Alright, I guess. How long have you been here?”
I calculated how long it had been in my mind before answering. “Just over a day, since they called me to say you were here.”
“You didn’t have to sit here,” she said softly, she didn’t seem to have the intention to be harsh or hurt me. it was a neutral tone.
“I did, Rachel…” I trailed off and looked back down at the ground. I didn’t want to bring it up so soon. But it was the elephant in the room and I guess we had to talk about it at some point.
“About that…” I don’t think she really knew what she wanted to say, and was more relying on me to explain myself.
“Yeah… Let me explain, please?” I paused, not expecting her to reply but planning to continue anyway. “I’m sorry I was so blunt with it, I should’ve thought more about hoe you’d react. I told you because I need to know if there’s a future for me with you as I would like or if I should move on and find someone else. I still want to be your friend, no doubt about it, but I just have to know if I can move on. I’m sorry and I won’t bother you anymore. You don’t have to worry about me… I’ll find someone else. It would be nice if we could still be friends though.”
She didn’t speak for a while. We just sat in the silence, but it felt right, like it was the right thing for the moment.
“If you move on to find someone else, or settle for being just friends with me, I won’t speak to you.” She answered softly and just looked at me. She had a slight smile and a glow in her eyes.
It took a minute for what she said to actually sink in. then I smiled, almost cheering when I really heard what she had said. If you move on to find someone else, I won’t speak to you, brilliant! “Oh, Rachel!” I almost shouted. “Thank god. I thought you hated me. With the way you ran off and how you looked at me. I was scared I was going to lose you.”
“I only reacted like that because I realised that I feel the same way. I was fighting with myself and my feelings and, it was so overwhelming, that time for me. Not because of you or what you did. I was fighting internally and honestly, feeling much the same way as you just described to me. Only you were brave enough to do something about it.” she stopped and smiled at me.
“Does that mean…” I didn’t even know what I was going to ask. I just stopped talking and smiled back at her.
“I want to be with you too, Quinn. I was thinking about it in the car, I was about to turn around and come back right before I crashed.”
“Oh, Rachel! I thought you hated me, that’s such a relief.” I jumped out of my seat and wrapped my arms around her. She giggled in my ear and raised her arms the little that she could. I had then half pinned to her side in my bear hug. “Oh, sorry,” I apologised and pulled away. She winced in pain and I apologised again.
“I just freaked out and realised I had to confront everything that I was trying to run from. I could never hate you Rachel… Please don’t ever think that.” She was looking tired and her eyes were getting heavier.
“You should get some sleep, you look tired.” I reached for her hand and took it.
She nestled down into her pillow and closed her eyes. “I love you Quinn,” she mumbled before lying still.
I looked over her, taking in what had just happened before pulling my chair up to the bedside, closer to her head and sat down. “I love you too, Rach.” I leant forward and brushed the hair off of her face then kissed her softly on her forehead.

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