love like

being perfect. living, loving. bathing, killing thinking linking licking love like.

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i didn’t find a nice stream, or a nice forest.
so i drove further north to a town in yorkshire. slept in his car last night. bird flew into the window this morning, mustve, i dont know, not seen the car in the dark. just before sunrise it was. i got out and picked it up. unconscious but not dead. still breathing. its little brown feathers flexing out and in like it was having a lay down after playing with its friends. just proper still, right in my palm. having a rest. stunned. i dint want it to get hurt so i brought it in the car with me. let it lay there on the passenger seat whie it got over the shock. thought it might want some food so i got out of the car (my new friend in the front seat, my other friend laying in the back on the floor.)

i had a look round for some grass, saw some pretty quick. started to glitter as the sun looked over the spires and the rooftops. still hadnt walmed up from sleeping so long, always does that in winter. lazy cunt.

walked over to this grass, looked for a bit where none was growing, didnt want to hurt it, rip it out, tear it up. even tried to stand on it delicately, no need to crush it underfoot like. found this little spot with nice damp soil. scooped my hand down into it staining my fingers, nice colour, nice soft brown against my pale arms. i kept scooping until i had a hole about the size of a fist and a mound of dirt (about the size of a fist) to its left. down inside the hole i saw a movement, tiny at first, like the soil was about to say something but changed its mind. then instead of words coming out of its mouth a long slender tongue appeared instead. looked like a worm. perfect. i grabbed at the tongue and slowly pulled it out like a thread that came loose from a hemline.

i held the worm in my palm watching it wriggle, then stuck out my own tongue and placed it on top. drew it into my mouth and carefully cut it into a few pieces with my two front teeth.

got back into the car to see how my brown, flying friend was holding up. still breathing, still unconscious. picked it up and placed it behind the steering wheel. just watched it breathing for a while. 

looked behind me on the floor, see how he was doing. looked quite cute. cosy in the back there. i climbed through the seats and laid next to him for a while. put my hand against his cold cheek. i felt a bit bad yknow. he was just being nice. guess i changed my mind about him, a bit too late. i gave him a kiss on the lips anyway. dont really know why i wouldnt before. he didnt seem too bad.

as my lips were resting against his, i heard this noise. high pitched and scared, i looked up to the steering wheel. wiped the bit of dried blood hed got on me off. climbed back over. thought id give the bird a name… something like… jailbait… haha.

all this time id felt the wriggling of the worm in my mouth still. it steadily got calmer until it decided to rest. i spat it into my hand and took a section between my thumb and forefinger. held it just above jailbaits head, it squinted with confusion. it wouldnt take it.

suddenly it panicked and started flapping, resuscitated by adrenaline. started making awful high pitched noises. squeaking and screaming, crying. wanted me to let it free. fluttering around like it was a car shaped bird cage. didnt stop even a second to perch.

i cowered down and bits of worm went flying into the back seat. had to open the door real quick and jump out. jailbait followed and didn’t stop to say thank you for my hospitality. just flew straight towards the nearest trees.

noone nice is there? noone says thank you. either wanna fuck you or just use you until they feel better. 

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