Fake smiles

Fake smiles can hide so much. Simply hiding your pain from everyone else with a quick lift of the corners of your mouth. The worst part isn't not showing what you feel to other people. It's that no one notices when you do. No one does. Never. They assume because you aren't crying all the time, or quiet, or wear long sleeves and wear black everyday everything is perfect. But it's not. Nothing about you is. It's just the opposite.

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1. My life..

So everyone thinks I'm perfectly normal. But I'm not. I fake a smile everyday. To everyone. No one notices though. No one notices my pain. I feel like I'm about to break.

"Lauren!" My mom calls from downstairs. I run downstairs. No this isn't like those stories were I'm trying to get pity and crap. My mom isn't a drunk that beats me. Just a typical mother. "Lauren I've been calling your name for at least five minutes!"

"I'm sorry. What did you need?" I ask.

"Never mind now. You never do anything for me." She rolls her eyes and walks away.

'I hide my pain from you. I pretend everything is perfect. I don't tell you about how bad the bullying is. I hid my scars. I do EVERYTHING for you.' I want to scream at her. But I don't. I just walk back upstairs.

I hop into the shower to hide my face. Tears start streaming down. I grab the one thing that keeps me sane.

I put the razor to my thigh, put pressure and swipe it across the skin.

"Don't use all the water Lauren!" My father yells from his room, across the hall. I turn off the water, hop out and dry up. I put on pajamas, go into my room and hop in my bed.

*

I'm walking and walking. I don't stop just keep walking. On the side of the winding rode people are standing on the sides yelling at me.

"You fat ugly slut!" Gemma, one of my biggest bullies yell.

"I hate you. You are worthless!" My father yells.

"Why couldn't you be like your sister?" My mother hisses.

"You should just kill yourself." Skylar, my sister yells.

"Eww that emo bitch needs to just go die in a hole." A stranger yells.

"You are so beautiful. Don't listen to what they say." A boy from my school smiles. I've never talked to him. He started last Monday, which was a week ago. My heart flutters at this. No one has ever said anything like that before.

*

I shoot out of my bed. I've had many dreams like that before. Well the part were people are yelling at me. Not what the boy said. Oh well..

I brush my teeth, and everything. Then I put on a black tank top, light blue jeans, a plain grey jumper, and black converse. Time for school.

*

I walk down the long hall, to my locker. I grab my books and scurry off to class. The day drags on with stares, whispers, and snickers all directed to me. As I leave my last class of the day, Algebra 3, I fall down on my face.

I hear everybody laughing at me.

"Aww does poor Lauren need help?" Gemma says with a baby voice. Suddenly I see a hand reaching down to help me up. I grab it and it pulls me up. The new boy, that I dreamed about, was standing there looking sad.

"Are you okay?" He ask.

"Yeah." I flash my famous fake smile and quickly put my books in my locker. I almost run out of the school, to walk home. As I walk in I'm meet with silence.

'Lauren, me our dad, Skylar and Andy went shopping.' A note that sat on the table said.

I sigh. Great. I walk upstairs, turn on my laptop, and log onto Facebook. Hate fills up my wall. Also death threats. What'd I do to them? I wish I knew. One post catches my attention though. It's from Jake, the new boy from school.

Jake: What did she do to you? Nothing. So leave her alone. Maybe you are calling her all those names because you wish you weren't them.

A small smile creeps upon my lips. A real one.

 

 

*AN*

Hey guys :) So this story isn't a cheesy sob story. Don't hate on it either. I'm gonna put my thoughts in this book and I don't care if you disagree. I'll update, if people like it about once a week, on the weekends <3 xx

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