Only When I Walk Away (Under Major Editing)

Don't you only love me when I walk away?

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14. Chapter 14

Groggily rolling over in my bed, I reach for my phone which sat on my nightstand. Squinting my eyes at the bright light from my phone, my eyes widen at the many missed calls and texts. I rolled my eyes and decided to open them all. 

 

From: Josh :)

I'm sorry.

 

From: Josh :)

Lotus please forgive me. I'm so sorry babe.

 

From: Josh :)

I shouldn't have left like that. Just answer me please. I need to talk to you.

 

From: Eva xx

Heyyyy girrrlll ;)

 

From: Josh :)

Can I make it up to you?

 

I closed all the text messages before checking the time and noticing that it was still early in the morning. Thankfully, it was a Saturday, and I was happy to have a break from this chaotic week. I crawled out of bed and headed to the bathroom and began brushing my teeth and washing my face. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and noticed my eyes were red and puffy from crying last night. I shook my head at my reflection, feeling ashamed. Once I returned to my room my phone began to ring, vibrating loudly against my nightstand. I grabbed my phone and answered it, not checking the caller ID. 

 

"Hello?"

 

"Thank God you answered," Josh praised through the phone. "I thought you wouldn't answer. Did you get any of my texts?"

 

"Yes, I did-"

 

"Why didn't you answer?!" Josh exclaimed. "That kind of hurts knowing that you didn't answer."

 

"Josh I don't think you deserved an answer from me," my voice was harsh as I spoke through the phone. "You stormed out, again."

 

Josh sighed and I could only imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose. There was an awkward pause between us. I pulled the phone away from my ear, checking to see if he had hung up. I heard him speak and quickly brought the phone back to my ear. 

 

"Sorry what was that?"

 

"Let me make it up to you," his voice low and raspy. He was making it hard to keep my guard up. "I'll take you out, we can do anything you want...please?"

 

I sighed, letting my hand fall to my side, I clutched the phone harshly in my right hand. I didn't want to be so forgiving to him. He had already stormed out twice. He was changing. Always on his phone, so flirtatious with other girls, leaving at random times. I was was starting to become suspicious of him. I was debating whether or not Liam was right. In all honesty, I didn't want to believe that Liam had the possibility of being right, I wanted things to be how they were on our first couple of dates.

 

"What time will you pick me up?" I replied after returning the phone to my ear.

 

"I-I can be there in an hour or two."

 

"Alright, I'll see you soon."

 

***

 

"You look nice, going somewhere special?" My mom asked as I sat on the couch next to my dad.

 

"Do I have to be going somewhere special in order to look nice?" I asked, clutching my chest slightly offended. 

 

"No I didn't mean that- I just...you're outfit- I just thought-"

 

"I'm just kidding mom," I giggled, she visibly relaxed. "I'm going to the movies with Josh. He should be here soon."

 

After Josh and I's conversation over the phone, I came up with the bright idea to go to the movies, hoping we would have any awkward conversations between us. As if on cue the doorbell rings. 

 

"Must be Josh," I mumbled while grabbing my purse from the dining room table.

 

"Have fun!" My parents called in unison. 

 

Opening the front door, Josh stood awkwardly, hands deep in his pockets as he rocked to and fro on his heels. He looked nervous and jittery. I could tell he hadn't had much sleep last night. His eyes were bleak with dark purple marks under them. His hair was disheveled as if he had ran his hands through it thousands of times. My heart sunk, and I immediately felt guilty. 

 

"Hey," he greeted nervously, as if I would walk away at any moment. 

 

"Hey," I smiled lightly, he relaxed returning a small smirk.

 

He raised his hand waving at my parents behind me. I listened as they returned a brief 'hello' before I closed the door and leaving with Josh. 

 

***

 

"I can't tell you how sorry I am."

 

I began picking at the green nail polish on my nails, not being able to look at Josh. Josh grabbed my hand, I glanced up at him and watched as his attention was on the road, one hand on the steering wheel.

 

"I shouldn't have done that. It was rude, and I'm just-" he sighed dropping my hand and running his own through his hair. "Sorry." He gave my hand a squeeze to which I returned. 

 

"It's alright, just please don't let it happen again."

 

"Never." He promised bringing my hand up and giving my knuckled a small kiss. 

 

***

 

I my hand in the box of popcorn before (not so gracefully) eating a handful. Josh and I were walking towards the theater, popcorn in hand while Josh carried nachos, drinks, and candy. How he did it? I'm not quite sure. We decided on a comedy, since I wasn't up for a horror or action film, and the idea of a drama or chick flick didn't appeal to him. 

 

"Y'know, usually you're supposed to wait for the movie before eating the snacks."

 

I paused my 'graceful' eating to glare at Josh, he quickly held up his hands in defense. He bumped his shoulder against mine causing me to giggle. 

 

"Since we've clearly decided to eat like savages today, why don't we have frozen yogurt after this?" His offer brought a smile to my lips as I nodded in agreement. 

 

***

 

"Hey, that's not nice." I whined wiping my nose with the sleeve of my jacket. Josh was chuckling beside me, apparently he thought it would be funny to smear frozen yogurt on the tip of my nose. He dipped his finger in his yogurt again then quickly swiped it across my nose. 

 

"Stop that." I pouted while wiping my nose, yet again.

 

Josh laughed while pulling my body into his. He kissed the crown of my head as we continued walking. We had just left the frozen yogurt shop and we were now walking back to Josh's car. Once we were inside Josh's car, he grabbed my hand in his while he began driving. He ran his thumb over my palm, squeezing it every once in a while. I leaned my head against the window watching all the passing cars. It was right now that I realized that I was happy, truly happy. I had friends, which may have not have been a great amount, but I was fine with that, and I had a boyfriend who cared for me. Josh's car slowly pulled up to the front of my house. I lifted my head from the window and turned to Josh. He was grinning at me before he brought my hand to his lips, kissing my small fingers. 

 

"I just want to apologize one last time for what happened yesterday." Josh said. 

 

"It's already been forgotten." I smiled.

 

I leaned in pressing my lips against his softly. His palm found my cheek, cupping it. His lips moved swiftly against mine. Our kiss began to deepen. Josh's tongue smoothly intruded my mouth, exploring it. I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck attempting to pull his body closer to mine. 

 

Our passionate kiss was interrupted by an obnoxious vibrating sound. Josh pulled away slightly to grab his phone that was sitting on the center console. He grabbed it so fast I wasn't able to check the caller ID. If felt like he was trying to hide it from me. 

 

"Sorry," he quickly pecked my lips. "Gotta take this."

 

He answered his phone and sat back in his seat. I felt awkward just sitting here while he was conversing on the phone. Whoever he was talking to had a very high pitched voice. Probably a girl.

 

"I can't right now," Josh said through the phone. "Because I'm with my girlfriend right now." He emphasized. 

 

Whoever this person was, they were very adamant on seeing Josh. Josh continued to mumble a few incoherent words. After a few moments he finally hung up, dropping his phone in the cup holder. 

 

"Sorry 'bout that," he apologized. Josh leaned in pecking my chin, then my jaw, and finally the skin right under my ear. "I have to go right now."

 

I looked at Josh confused, he gave me a sympathetic look before shrugging one of his shoulders. I sighed. It always ended with Josh leaving abruptly. I quickly grabbed my purse then yanked the car door open. I mumbled a quiet 'goodbye' before slamming the door shut. I heard his car start then screech away as I walked across the street to my house. Suddenly a bright light flashed out in the dark night. 

 

Liam's front door opened and the light from inside was blinding me, making me shield my eyes. He stood in the door frame shirtless yet again with a pair of joggers hung dangerously low on his hips. Only this time he wasn't alone. A petite brunette stood beside him as he walked her out to the front porch. Her hair was messy and her shirt was wrinkled. Liam's hair was identical to the girl’s, messy. I slowly walked to my front yard, trying to avoid any unwanted confrontation. I watched as the girl turned around wrapping her arms around Liam's waist, probably to prolong their goodbye. I quickly glanced at his driveway noticing it was empty meaning his parents weren't home. 

 

She finally turned around walking down the few steps leading to Liam's porch. Liam walked back inside shutting his front door. The girl continued walking until she spotted me, then she stopped. 

 

"Hey," she greeted. I was more than confused, I was positive I've never seen her before. "Aren't you Leah? Liam's friend?"

 

How did this girl know me? I was more than puzzled. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at the girl while she waited for a response. 

 

"Actually it's Lotus," I finally said. "Nice to meet you."

 

Deciding to end the conversation I continued walking to my front door, finally opening it and settling inside the warm house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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