Suffering In Silence (DISCONTINUED)

Have you every heard the phrase " suffer in silence"? That explains most of my life. I go to school everyday and plaster a fake smile on my face. When I go home I'm pulled straight back into my sad reality. I just wish for once, that someone would see through my fake smile. Until then, I will continue to suffer in silence.
* Original ideas, I am not copying anyone's work *
*Warning: story will contain some foul language.*

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6. I miss you so much it hurts

 

 

      " Hi Mom" I whispered as I kneeled down besides her hospital bed. She laid there peacefully, not one worry at the moment. I have so many worries. How long will she be here? Will she every wake up? Will dad every go to far? I have so much to worry about that it is overwhelming at times. " I miss you so much it hurts."  I said letting my tears fall onto her rosy cheeks. Her golden brown hair was spread across the pillow. Her deep brown eyes were closed shut. " Hello Audilee. How are you today?" Dr. Morris asked. " I'm fine sir. How is she doing?" I asked hopefully. " Mrs. Heart is still in critical  condition. She is slowly making progress but if one small thing happens.. It most likely won't end well." He said. My smile faded. " I am going to have to do some blood work. You can come back in a bit if you would like." He suggested . " I'll come back soon." I left my mothers room kissing her cheek and heading out of the room. " Audilee?" a voice called out. " oh uh hi Harry. What are you doing here?" I asked. " I came to visit my Aunt. She just hade a baby." He said cheerily. " Boy or girl?" I asked. " Boy, his name is Thomas. He is sooo cute." Harry said with his dimples popping out. He looked like a little kid on Christmas. It was cute. " what are you doing here?" He asked. " Miss Heart I am all finished. You may go see your mother if you would like." Dr. Morris said as he walked away. " What's wrong with your mum?" Harry asked with slight worry and confusion. " uh she just um.. she got into an accident a few months ago." I said with slight hesitation. " I'm so sorry Audilee. Is she alright?" He asked. " She's in a coma.. I miss her so much it hurts" I was barley able to whisper. " Oh Audilee.." He pulled me into a hug. " What exactly happened if you don't mind me asking?" He questioned. " it was just a car accident. Harry you cant tell anyone! promise?" I asked and left MANY details out of the accident. He nodded is head. "  I promise. You want to go meet Thomas with me?" he asked. " Sure." I smiled and we headed off.

      " Look Harry he is so cute!" I gushed over the tiny newborn. Harry just laughed at me. I have always loved kids. They're so innocent and sweet. Just so helpless. " I love kids too." He said smiling. Did I say that out loud?  " Yes. Yes you did.." He chuckled as I pouted. Well now one more person knows part of my story. How long will it take for  them to put it all together?

     " Audilee, do you need a ride home?" Harry asked as we both began to walk out the hospital doors. " Yes please." I smiled and we headed off to his car. He walked off with his mop of curls bouncing on his head. He slipped in to the car and we headed off. " well this is my stop." I said as he pulled up to the flat. " alright well call if you need anything okay?" He asked. " I will. Bye Harry." I kissed his cheek and headed inside as he drove off.

     There were the sounds of screaming and shouting coming from the living room. Dad must have his friends over. Most likely watching sports. The thing is.. almost the entire town knows my dad as this really nice man. They never see the real him. Only mom and I have seen the real him. I walked passed them and headed into the kitchen. It was a mess of course. " Hey beauty" a drunken voice slurred. I turned around to see Michael. He works with my dad and he is such a pervert! He walked past me grabbing a beer. Smacking my butt as he headed back into the living room with the others. The tears sprang to my eyes. He isn't exactly a nice man either. He scares the living hell out of me. Once when him and dad were over, both piss drunk, well dad got mad at me over some stupid shit and let Michael beat me too. It was so bad. I couldn't go to school for about three days. I tried to cover up the dark bruises but nothing would work so I had to stay home until they faded.

     I headed off into my room trying to avoid everyone there. I called the one person that I could talk to. Zayn. " Audilee what's wrong, are you okay, do you need m-" " Zayn calm down I'm fine. I just wanted to talk to someone." I said trying to calm him down. He seemed so worried, like he really did care. " Are you sure you're okay? I could come and get you, it's not a bi-" He rambled on and on. I let out a slight giggle. " what's so funny?" He asked. I could imagine the pout on his lips. " you are. I told you I'm fine okay. I just wanted to talk." I said. We talked half way through the night. " Audilee are you still awake?" He asked with his tired voice. " can you sing me to sleep?" I mumbled into the phone. " sure." He said.

 

Shut the door, turn the light off
I wanna be with you
I wanna feel your love
I wanna lay beside you
I cannot hide this even though I try

Heart beats harder
Time escapes me
Trembling hands touch skin
It makes this harder
And the tears stream down my face

If we could only have this life for one more day
If we could only turn back time

You know I'll be
Your life, your voice your reason to be
My love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moments in time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today

Close the door
Throw the key
Don't wanna be reminded
Don't wanna be seen
Don't wanna be without you
My judgment is clouded
Like tonight's sky

Hands are silent
Voice is numb
Try to scream out my lungs
It makes this hard girl
And the tears stream down my face

If we could only have this life for one more day
If we could only turn back time
 

You know I'll be
Your life, your voice your reason to be
My love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moments in time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today

Flashes left in my mind
Going back to the time
Playing games in the street
Kicking balls with my feet
Dancing on with my toes
Standing close to the edge
There's a pile of my clothes
At the end of your bed
As I feel myself fall
Make a joke of it all

You know I'll be
Your life, your voice your reason to be
My love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moments in time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today

You know I'll be
Your life, your voice your reason to be
My love, my heart
Is breathing for this
Moment in time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today.

                         

                          I fell asleep to the sound of his voice.

 

 

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