Suffering In Silence (DISCONTINUED)

Have you every heard the phrase " suffer in silence"? That explains most of my life. I go to school everyday and plaster a fake smile on my face. When I go home I'm pulled straight back into my sad reality. I just wish for once, that someone would see through my fake smile. Until then, I will continue to suffer in silence.
* Original ideas, I am not copying anyone's work *
*Warning: story will contain some foul language.*


5. " I know your secret ;) "




Dear Diary,

     So.. yesterday was a slight bit different. Someone knows. They know about dad, it's Zayn. I guess he heard dad yelling at me from inside while he was still standing outside of the door. He basically figured it out pretty easy sense my cheek was purple and blue. It's nice having someone knowing because if I need something than I can always go to him, at least I hope. Another day of hell, another day of that fake smile, wish me luck!

Love, Audilee <3


I hid my book underneath my matress before grabbing my phone off of the dresser. I had one message from Zayn.

To: Audilee

From: Zayn- Hey do you want me to pick you up this morning?

     I replied with a yes and slipped my phone into my jean shorts pocket. I heard the honk of his car and I hastily headed out the door. " Morning Audilee!" he chirped with a smile on his face. " Hey Zayn" I smiled back. " are you alright?" He was talking about what happened last night. " yeah, and about that. You have to promise me that you won't tell anyone okay?" I questioned. Zayn looked at me sadly before saying, " I promise. But if you ever need me, promise me that you will call me okay?" he questioned. " I promise Zayn." I said reassuringly We arrived at school. He left to meet up with the boys while I went to meet with Maria. " Hey gurly!" Maria sang while she swung her arm around my shoulders. " Are you high?" I joked with her. " No. Sadly I couldn't find my Nutella this morning" she played along with a pout on her lips. " Oh who's this?" I questioned her while taking a look at the girl who was stood beside her. She was medium height with her gorgeous dark brown hair flowing slightly past her shoulders.   " oh this is Elena, I'm showing her around for the day." She smiled. The girl walked towards me while extending her hand. " Nice to meet you Elena, I'm Audilee. So where are you from?" I asked her. " Please call me Lanie." she smiled. " I moved from the States, my mum and I just needed a move." she shrugged her shoulders suggesting that we move on from the topic." Alright well we'll see you later Audi, we have to head off to class. Catch you later." she yelled down the hallway like a lunatic earning strange glances from the people surrounding her. Oh how I love that girl.

     As the bell rang, the hallways began to clear as students headed off to their morning classes. " Good morning class." Mr. Parker spoke. " today we will just get to know each other better. This is a simple exercise, you will write one thing about each person in the class. Please keep everything appropriate and kind. This will help you to see a bit on how others view you." We all took out a piece of loose leaf and continued the assignment. When are time was up we handed our papers to the front of the room. He sorted everyone's out by name and began to hand them out. He handed me a stack of papers that were wrote about me from everyone in the room. I began to read the first. " slut, attention whore, bitch!"  okay that might have stung a small bit..  " emo, nerd, ugly, fat!"  Most of the papers said the same thing. One stood out the most. " I know your secret ;) "  Who, what, how? so many questions ran through my head. And why all of the sudden am I getting so much hate? I kept quite while you could hear the slight sound of snickers and giggles coming from the bitches who wrote the nastier comments. I wasn't going to cry. No. That's not what I do. I smile, I smile so much that it hurts. But the pain that the smile is hiding hurts a million times more.

     As the bell rang I quickly rushed out of the classroom before the hallways  became crowded. I put my books into my locker and rushed into the bathrooms. I collapsed to the floor beneath me and tucked my arms into me and my legs beneath me. What did I ever do to them? Did I snap at them one day? Was I ever mean to them? And only one person knows about my da- Zayn.. he wouldn't have told anyone.. right? I held in the urge to cry causing me to shake. I wouldn't cry. I looked in he mirror. " ugly, slut, attention whore, fat, nerd, bitch" These words swirled around my head. Maybe they were true. I quickly wiped beneath my eyes, catching a tear from falling. I splashed the cool water onto my face before heading back into the hallways.

      " Hey Audilee we were looking for you!" Louis shouted while him and the boys headed towards me. I hastily replaced my gloomy, depressed look with a happy, cheery smile. " Yeah sorry I got caught up in class." I said while we all walked down the halls. " what class do you have next?" Harry asked. " uh P.E. I think." I said while trying to remember. " great, me too." he smiled. I just realized how much everyone seems to smile after they talk. Why are they always to happy? My thoughts were interrupted as a hand was slightly placed in my shoulder. I looked up to see Zayn with a frown evident on his face. " I know you're not okay." he whispered looking down at me. " I'll talk to you later" I spat out harshly while walking away. He look confused but also a bit hurt.

      I made my way into the locker room and changed into my gym shorts and shirt. I looked at the full body mirror while intensely looking at myself. Maybe I could loose a bit of weight. I thought while I headed off to the field.  Kristen and her ' posy' walked in wearing their short shorts and almost crop tops. Perfect thigh gap and toned tummy, some almost anorexic looking but, I wouldn't judge someone that I don't know. I spotted Harry gazing at me from across the field. I coughed uncomfortable averting my eyes from his as I continued playing football ( American soccer) with the rest of the girls. The annoying sound of the bell rang and we all headed off of the field.

     " Audi wait up!" a voice shouted making me cringe. The deepness almost reminding me of my fathers voice. As I turned around my eyes fell onto Harry. " I thought we could walk to the canteen together." he said while bumping my shoulder a bit. " yeah sure" I said as we headed off. The boys were sitting at a table surrounded by the most popular/ bitchy/ slutty girls in school. As Harry and I walked past we heard Niall whisper to Louis, " it looks like a crayon raped her face!" while he pointed towards one of the blonde bimbos. Louis tried to hide his laughter but failed and him ending up chocking on his drink from laughter. Harry heard this as well and we both started to laugh loudly earning annoyed glares from the others around us.

      We headed into the lunch line and I only paid for a bottle of water. Harry got his food and we decided to sit away from the crowds of people and we took a seat by Maria and Elena. Elena almost looked like she was about to faint. Harry must have noticed because he let out a slight chuckle and grin. " Ello, love" he spoke to her in an extremely posh accent causing Maria and I to laugh. He playfully glared and pouted at both of us before he let out a deep chuckle as well. " Uh.. your Harry Styles" she mumbled in disbelieve.

     Just before she was able to speak again Louis and Niall sat down with us with a disturbed look on their faces. Niall whispered to us what some girl said, people at this school are such perverts! The look on Elena's face was priceless. " so I'm guessing your a fan?" I asked her. She shyly shook her head yes. " who is your favorite?" Niall asked, joining are conversation. " I , uh, I do- don't have one." she managed to chock out. Her cheeks tinted a rosy pink as he winked and turned around. So she likes the Irish now does she? hmm... nah I'll play match maker later.

     Liam and Zayn came over with the same disturbed look on their face as Niall and Louis have had before. " I don't even want to know" Maria said shacking her head causing the two boys to nod their head quickly. " Zayn can I talk to you for a moment?" I asked while turning towards him. He nodded his head and we headed out of the canteen. " what happened early?" he asked sounding concerned. " why the hell would  you tell someone when I told you not to!?" I whisper-screamed at him. " Audilee, I promise I didn't tell anyone, I promised you I wouldn't and I haven't broken that promise." he told me honestly looking into my eyes. I can usually tell when someone was lying. He wasn't lying. I hugged him tight as he placed his arms protectively around me. " I don't break my promises Audilee" he said softly. " I think someone knows Zayn but, I don't know who, or how." I said sadly. " I'll keep you safe." He grabbed my hand and we headed back to the canteen.  



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