Careless -Complete-

You were my best friend. We did everything together. You were my first laugh, my first trouble, my first time. Then you left when I needed you most. So Liam, please tell me why you're back. I want us to be the same but how can that be? We can't because back then we were careless...and I'm a mother now.
Warning: Mature scenes and language.

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15. I knew

It’s been about a week now since Jamie got back from the hospital. I’ve kept my space from the guys because after what happened, I just needed my space. I was depressed more than ever and my doctor said I had to take two pills a day instead of one.

Great.

The pills get me all emotional and tired. Ugh, I hate depression.

Harry has called a couple of times and so has Louis. Niall called once but he understood that I needed time before hanging out with them again. I suspected Zayn knew too by the text he sent me earlier in the week.

“But I want the cookie!” Jamie cried. I hate when he gets like this. All cranky.

“I told you no! You refuse to eat lunch and until then you can’t have the cookie!”

He began to stomp on the floor and have a full out tantrum. “Ah!”

I was getting pissed off. I picked him up and he thrashed in my arms. I walked him over to his room. I sat him on his bed. He crossed his arms and pouted. “Either you sit here for time out or you take a nap. Either or, because you’re not coming out until either one is done.”

He groaned and crawled into his bed, holding Clark close to him.

I stood up and pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. “What is up with you Jamie” I mumbled to myself. “I want Liam” he sobbed.

What?

“Wh-why do you want Liam?”

“Because he’s my dad.”

I froze. What the hell?

“How did…who told you that?”

“Lea told me.”

I groaned. “No, she couldn’t have Noah! Who told you that?”

“She did! She told me in my dream that she was my sister and Liam was our dad.”

I walked closer to his bed and sat on my knees next to him.

“Is it true mommy?”

I nodded as a tear fell from my face.

I swear he’s older than he seems sometimes. Some of the things he says astound me. He’s so smart.

Jamie sat up and wrapped his arms around my neck, hugging me. “I want daddy.”

“I want him too, baby.” “Make him come over.” I pulled away, “No, no. He doesn’t know a-and I don’t think he should. No.”

“You think so?”

I wearily nodded. I can never give Jamie the father he needs.

“Okay. I’m tired so I’m gonna take nap.”

I gave him a small smile and kissed his forehead, wishing him sweet dreams.

I spent an hour cleaning the kitchen, living room, doing laundry, taking out the trash. I’m a stress cleaner. What will Jamie say or do next time he sees Liam? Ugh, thinking about it  gives me a headache.

Right when I was about to sit down and watch one of my home videos, there was a knock on the door.

I sighed and went to open the door before they could knock again. I didn’t want whoever it was to wake Jamie up.

It was Liam.

He stood there with red rimmed eyes and a weary expression. “Ed…”

“Wh-what are you doing here?”

“Can I talk to you…please?”

“I don’t think…”

“Please Eden.”

His big brown pleading eyes reminded me of my sons. How could I say no?

I nodded, “Alright but you’ll have to be quiet. Jamie’s asleep.”

He followed me into the living room where I previously was and sat on the couch. I did the same, making sure to leave a considerate amount of space between us.

“Go on.”

He let out a breath that he seemed to be holding. “Look, Eden, I’m not gonna sit here and tell you that I was just being stupid. We both know how I am, b-but that doesn’t justify what I did. I-I don’t know, he was just there a-and thirsty. I’d never hurt him purposely.  I’m so sorry.”

I was a bit chocked up. “What do you want from me, Li?”

“You’re forgiveness. It was a mistake that won’t happen again. Please, Ed.”

“O-okay but I still need some space from all you guys. It’s a bit intimidating to be honest.”

“D-do you want me to go?” “No…stay If you want.”

“Yeah I’d like to stay.” I shrugged, “Alright, I’m not really doing anything. I was about to watch some random home videos. Is that okay?”

He nodded and settled into a more relaxed position.

I pressed play from the remote and watched.

“Say it again Noah. Come on” I cooed. “brahg brahhh” Jamie gurgled.  My dad laughed from behind the camera. “I swear he said something dad.”

“It was just baby talk, Eden. He’s only seven months, he can’t talk yet.”

“Yes he can! I heard him.” “Alright, I’ll just keep the camera on then.”

“I think this is the video where Jamie said his first word” I told Liam.

“Come on Noah... say it.” “He’s not old enough.” “Sh!”

“Da…da.” “See! I told you so!” I picked him up and held him in front of me. I rubbed my nose against his tiny one and pecked his little lips. He giggled, “Dada.”

“That’s right. Now sayyyy Mama.”

“Dada.”

“No, mama.”

“Dada.”

I groaned. “Why can’t he say my name? At least he’ll actually use mine.”

“Eden, you don’t know that. He’ll come back one day.” “I doubt it. It’s been well over a year.”

My dad sighed, “What are you gonna do?” “I just wanna get out of here. Leave. Start over with just Jamie and I.” My voice cracked at the end.

“This was the first I’ve seen you smile in a while.”

“I never really had a reason. With mom ignoring me and Addie gone…I don’t have use for a                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                smile.”

“You have Jamie” my dad said. I nodded, “Yeah, I do.”

The video cut off.

“Wh-whose Jamie’s dad.”

“Um…you-you don’t know him.”

“Our school and neighborhood were fairly small. I mean, I might know him.”

“No one. Just…nobody.”

I can’t tell Liam now. Not now. We were on thin ice right now and I didn’t want to fall in. Telling him now will break me. He’s gonna leave and never talk to me again. I know he will.

“We used to tell each other everything” he mumbled with his head hung low.

“Yeah, USED to. We’re not the same anymore. I can’t tell you.”

He let out a weary sigh. “You were never like this.”

What?!?

I stood up to give me more height over him. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I snapped.

He stood as well, making my former height disappear.

“What I mean is that you never were the type to just sleep around with guys.”

Sleep around? His harsh words felt like a slap to the face.

“How dare you?! You know nothing! The only person I’ve ever ‘slept’ with was you!”

His face fell and his eyes went wide. Yeah, shut up Liam. He’s making me so angry.

“W-what? But Jam-…”

“He’s yours Li! He’s yours…”

I felt tears stream down my face from frustration. There…I told him. Not in the nicest way but I told him and I feel like a weight’s been lifted off of my shoulders.

It all happened so fast. When he grabbed my face and kissed me.

What the hell?

Liam’s POV:

She’s so frustrating.

I was so confused yet relieved at what she just told me.

I pressed my lips against hers. Those all too familiar lips.

She resisted the kiss and even tried to push me away but no…I wasn’t going to.

For a moment she actually kissed me back and then stopped again. She pushed away with more fore, successfully disconnecting our lips.

I still held her face between my hands. She opened her mouth to speak but I went before her. “I knew it” I growled in frustration. Her eyes went wide and confused. “I knew it a-and I waited for you to tell me but you weren’t going too.”

“W-what?”

“I-I went to your parents and they told me you had Noah. I had to come and find you. I did. Why didn’t you tell me he was mine, Ed?” My voice cracked. I was hurt.

“Who told you?” she asked, removing my hands from her face.

“Harry told me a-and I read his hospital chart, but that’s not the point! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What was I supposed to say?! That I was pregnant after we had sex that one time? I tried telling you but then you said you were leaving. What was I supposed to do?!”

“Uh, I don’t know, tell me!” I said with sarcasm lacing my voice.

“Well, now you know. Now what? What’s next, huh? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Let’s face it Li, it wouldn’t have made a difference if you knew or not.”

“How could you say that? He’s my kid, I would want to be here for him!”

“No…no you wouldn’t have. Don’t try and act all ‘long lost son’ and try and be in his life now. I haven’t told you for a reason. We both know you have higher priorities.”

“Mommy…” I heard Jamie’s voice whisper. Ed turned around and picked him up. He wiped his tired eyes. “You have a good nap?” she asked. He nodded, “Can I have cookie now?” he asked. Ed giggled and kissed his cheek. “Of course.”

Ed glanced at me, “You can let yourself out” she said and walked away.

Jamie looked at me and mouthed ‘Bye bye’ while waving his tiny hand.

 

A/n: Liam knows now! Is that how you expected it to be? OMG sorry if this chap didn't make since. I'm seriously half asleep while typing this.

If there is any confusion:

Basically Liam knew she had a kid from the beginning but didn't know it was his. Harry told him but didn't quite believe him. He read Jamie's hospital chart which had his name on it. Noah James Payne. That's the main reason he wanted to talk to Eden. To try and get her to admit it.

Comment what you think! Any suggestion on what should happen next? Let me know! So So tired...must...sleep...zzzz

-Mone'

 

 

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