Lonely wolf

My name is Sakura Namida, and I have a secret. A secret no one can know about. I have a 'great' life. Pretty normal if you ask me. But all of that is about to change. I'm going to go on my journey and find my life. Will I really do that? Or will I find something else.

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1. Lost

When I woke up in the morning, I was in the woods. I just wish it would stop. I know why it happens. The animal inside me feels alone, so it just try to run away. And find what it´s searching for. Me myself don’t know what. But now I only had to find my way home. ‘Cause where was I? I only know that I’m somewhere in the woods. But where? I remember that, one time it took three days to find my way home. I was so far away from home. My parents don´t care, they, or ‘she’ know that I can take care of myself, and find my way home, someday. And my ‘dad’ don’t care about me at all, he only cares about my mother. He says that I’m a monster that would kill them in the middle of the night. I would never do that! Except from with him. I totaly hate him! He’s only a liar. A big liar! But my mom can’t stop his thoughts, no one can.  Except me. But I wont tell him! No way! And my mother promised to not tell him. She don’t want anyone to know it either,  she do want to tell him. But she promised! She promised to not tell him.
I stoped my thoughts. Now I know where I am. I’m almost home, I can feel it! My mom, I can feel her smell all the way here. Her smell, flowers, parfume, him! They were doing what only the one that were in love could do. It smells disgusting! I hurried even more now, I had to get there before it was to late. He is just there for her, doesn’t care about me. She can’t get a new child! He wont care about it anyway. Even if it’s his. I don’t care if it’s not my real sister or brother, I can’t let the same thing happen to it. If she get pregnant, the child will need a real father that cares about it. And not him! 
When I was under control, I saw the little house. I could almost hear them. It’s disgusting! I opened the door and screamed. I was so angry and disappointed. She came running from her room, she looked very scared. Like if she knew that I knew what they were doing. Like if it was a mistake that I knew, she didn’t want me to know. “ Sakura, what is it? “ I know she knew what it was, she only asked to make me think she didn’t. “ You know. “ She looked almost depressed. “ Oh, Sakura. I’m so sorry. “ It was disgusting to know what they did. She only had a blanket around her body. And then he came. At least he had his clothes on. “ What is it? “ Then he saw me. “ What do you want now? “  He said with his  disgusted voice. I was so angry, did he really think I was that stupid? Did he really think I let him touch my mother like that? “ Oh, shut up. “ “ What, did you say? “ “ You heard me, shut the hell up! “ Did he really think I was that kind-hearted? To him? No way, never ever in my life! He looked really angry, but that’s what I wanted. I almost smiled. “ Is that really what you say to the man your mom is married with? “ Did he just say, `married´? No it can’t be true, it can’t be the truth!  I was almost afraid, afraid that it was true. I saw that he could see my terrified face. I saw that he knew what I was thinking.“ No, no you’re lying. You’re lying! You must be! “ I was terrified. “ Sakura, it’s true. We’re married. “ She took a deap breath and continued. “ I was going to tell you, but you weren’t here. I never got the chanse, but I was going to. I promise. “ I don’t know if I can trust her. But I want to, I did get lost and she couldn’t reach me in any way so. I guess I have to trust her, but I won’t forgive her, or him. Especialy not him. “ I guess I have to trust you. “ “ Thank you. “  “ Wait, I wasn’t finished. But I won’t forgive you. “  I interruped her. She looked so sad, and guilty. “ Sakura? “ “ There’s, nothing more to say about it. “  I interruped her again. She almost started crying, I don’t like seeing her sad, but, there’s nothing more I can do. I looked at him, and there was a question I never got the chanse to ask. “ What’s your name? “  He looked confused. I could see that he knew that I didn’t like him, but he at least answered. “ Ted. “  I had never heard that name before, but now I have. He looked a little bit confused over my reaction, mabe ‘cause I never really talked to him before. I didn’t know what to do, I could feel my tears dry on my 
cheek . I could also feel the anger inside me. It was terrible, but I should be used to it. All the time I’m waking up in the woods and I didn’t know why. Everytime I’m thinking about it I can feel the anger, and the wet tears. All this pain I’ve been through. “ Sakura? Are you okay, Sweetie? “ “ Yes. I just need time for myself right now. “ 
I walked into my room and started packing the most important things. Clothes, and some spare bags. I was going to go on my jurney. A jurney I have to make by myself. All alone, with no one as company. It’s a part of the test all in my family, or ‘of my kind’ have to do. It was the right time now, I’m in the right age and I’m enough trained. The right age is about 16 years old. So, it’s time for me to leave this place, and find my own way.  I didn’t know where I was going, but I do know that I have to make it alone. Even though all this time, I’ve tried to not be alone. But now I have to. 
It just feels a little bit wierd, that I finaly have to make somthing alone. Totaly alone, just me, the trees, and the wind. 

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