Lonely wolf

My name is Sakura Namida, and I have a secret. A secret no one can know about. I have a 'great' life. Pretty normal if you ask me. But all of that is about to change. I'm going to go on my journey and find my life. Will I really do that? Or will I find something else.

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2. Journey

I was just going to go through the door opening when I heard my mom’s foot steps behind me. “ Sakura? Are you sure you want to do this? Are you really ready? “ I turned around and looked into her eyes. “ Yes, I’m as sure as you can be. “ I smiled, or, at least I tried to. I had to use my fake smile then, it’s not much that can make me smile. “ Oh, I’m going to miss you. “ She started crying, and walked closer so she could hug me. I could feel her tears against my skin. I hugged her back. “  Mom, it’s okay. I won’t be that far. I’m always with you. “ She looked at me with her shimmering eyes. “ I know, you’re growing up so fast. “ I didn’t really know what to say but I tried to find the right words. “ Remember, I will come back someday. “ “ I know, but it will take a while. “ I started walking again , but turned my head so I could see her enough to talk to her. “ Have fun, but not to fun. I will know every move you take. “ She almost started laughing. “ Okay, I know what what you mean. “  I used my fake smile again, and started running. 

Running to my new life, running to my adventure. I’m going to search for my life, search for the meaning of it, search for my point to stay alive. I just don’t really know what that point is, but, I will find it. But first I’ll have to find something to eat. But all I can see around me is trees, grass and some birds. I guess that have to be enough for now. Birds don’t keep you satisfied for long, but that’s at least something. I started running around and chased the biggest birds I could find. 
When I ran far enough in to the woods, chasing the bird, I saw a  big, low wooden fence. On the other side of the fence, there were thousands of chickens. That’s enough for almost a whole year! But I can’t just take them, the people that owns them probably needs them more than I do. But, I guess one chicken can’t hurt. I walked backwards and then jumped over the fence. I took at least five chickens, they have  ten times more than I took so it can’t hurt them. I walked in to the woods and tried to find a small cave of some kind. And that was exactly what I found. I killed the chickens and hid them in the cave. I started eating one of them, it didn’t taste as good as when mom cooked them, but, this is what I have to live with. I saved the rest for another time. 
I wonder if mom really understood what I meant. 
Probably, probably not. I have no idea, I can’t read her minds, no one can. I can hear you from distance, I can see you from distance, but I can’t read your minds. 
I only wanna know what she was thinking back there. About that I know, and about that I was going to leave and everything. Did she care about that I was leaving at all? Or did she just get relieved that I was leaving? So many questions, that I’ll probably never will get an answer on. I will always keep believing. I have the hope up. Even if that was the problem with my father, he had to much hope.
But now is not the time to think about such things. I’m just missing him to much, so I can’t think clearly. I hope he died doing something important, and that he finished doing what he died for.
Stop thinking like that! I’m not that kind of  person that thinks things like that. I have to think about something else.

 

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